Winchesters Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 It finally happened. After 8 short months, my girlfriend left me. I foreshadow it since the first time I met her. Not because she was selfish, or anything. She was actually a decent kind hearted girl. The problem was me. It was always me. I am not complaining, I can't even acuse her of anything. It was my fault. I told her, in our first deep and philosofical conversation that I was and still am in a dark place. Never finished college because I lost my scholarship, I have been working in retail since then, which is something I hate, specially because I make 2 dollars per hour. Yes, 2 dollars. No, i dont live in China. Supposedly this isnt a 3rd world country. But i digress. I told her that I am still trying to figure out what I am supposed to do, and I get frustrated a lot. I feel the world is upside down, I look at people and I see zombies, just wandering through life wihtout even asking simple questions. But digress again. She was amazed by my personality, and I was curious, because I dont like my personality. Im not outgoing, I hate small talk, I dont really like to hang out with friends. I have reasons for this, and my main one is i wish i had a career, or money so i could do things, or finish college. But i keep getting these low pay retail store jobs. I could point fingers to him or her or even "society" but I mostly blame me, for my position. She tried to endure my mood swings, my terrible attitude towards life. I am not a terrible person, and we had a blast when she could endure my "special traits". But enough is enough and she passed the breaking point. 2 days ago she finally came clean. She wasnt happy. She tought she could endure everything, but she can't. She cried a lot. I didn't. Not at that time. I cried later, alone. I just want her to be happy, and she isn't happy with me. I try to be rational but i felt she abandon me. I needed her and she isn't her anymore. It's not her job to "fix me". But right now I can't be rational. It hurts. And so, the NC begins.
tinkerbell16 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 It finally happened. After 8 short months, my girlfriend left me. I foreshadow it since the first time I met her. Not because she was selfish, or anything. She was actually a decent kind hearted girl. The problem was me. It was always me. I am not complaining, I can't even acuse her of anything. It was my fault. I told her, in our first deep and philosofical conversation that I was and still am in a dark place. Never finished college because I lost my scholarship, I have been working in retail since then, which is something I hate, specially because I make 2 dollars per hour. Yes, 2 dollars. No, i dont live in China. Supposedly this isnt a 3rd world country. But i digress. I told her that I am still trying to figure out what I am supposed to do, and I get frustrated a lot. I feel the world is upside down, I look at people and I see zombies, just wandering through life wihtout even asking simple questions. But digress again. She was amazed by my personality, and I was curious, because I dont like my personality. Im not outgoing, I hate small talk, I dont really like to hang out with friends. I have reasons for this, and my main one is i wish i had a career, or money so i could do things, or finish college. But i keep getting these low pay retail store jobs. I could point fingers to him or her or even "society" but I mostly blame me, for my position. She tried to endure my mood swings, my terrible attitude towards life. I am not a terrible person, and we had a blast when she could endure my "special traits". But enough is enough and she passed the breaking point. 2 days ago she finally came clean. She wasnt happy. She tought she could endure everything, but she can't. She cried a lot. I didn't. Not at that time. I cried later, alone. I just want her to be happy, and she isn't happy with me. I try to be rational but i felt she abandon me. I needed her and she isn't her anymore. It's not her job to "fix me". But right now I can't be rational. It hurts. And so, the NC begins. It's nice that you arent blaming her and recognizing where your failings are. This may be the wake up call you need to gain a new perspective on life and its possibilities. Use the hurt and pain to inspire you to make positive changes. Good luck
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