timmi Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 I haven't dated for a while. So i met a girl in tinder. After a while we started conversation in Instagram. And she told me that she get rid of Tinder because it was stupid app. Chit chat and finally met her. Was lovely evening with wine. Later we walked near to her home but goodbye was really quick. She like almost run away. When i got to home i sent her message that now when we finally met and if she is still interested we can continue communication but if not then she doesn't have to write me again. She read message, but answered almost 12 hours later saying that meeting was nice. Told her that i like when people are honest because i get keen on some people really fast and i don't want to get hurt and that is why i sent her that message. She answered that i should not worry so much. Then just regular chit chat again and fews days later i asked her to come swimming with me. She agreed. Nice few hours talk on a bridge near lake. But nothing romantic. Again few days chatting and i asked her if she wants to come to swimming again. She said not, because she will go to the countryside where her mother lives. But then few hours later she asked if i want to come swimming to her countryside. I agreed. She even introduced me to her mother and stepdad. That night i kissed her. And she was totally agree with that. I didn't stay for night and did not have sex with her. I don't want to rush things like that. When i left we kissed again for goodbye. That was 2 days ago. So yesterday i sent her message and she answered. I sent one again. She read it but answered 10 hours after. I asked how was her day. And she told me that she went for sunbathing but it started raining so she just get comfort inside. I told that is was rainy also in my city. Again she read message but no answer. Makes me think that if it takes so many hours for her to answer my messages then she is not interested in me at all ? Or is it common thing ? I mean when someone writes me then i always write back quite instantly. What should i do next ? Should i just wait until she writes anything ? Should i ask her for another meet up ? What are your thought about it ? If that is important, then i am 30 and she is 26.
Author timmi Posted July 4, 2016 Author Posted July 4, 2016 Quick update. I just asked her for a walk later today and she agreed saying: "Why not". Help me out guys. What i don't see here ?
Vado Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 (edited) In the early dating process: don't chitchat over the phone to much about the weather or so, just use your phone or computer for making dates. And don't label things, I did that too in the past, big mistake. Labeling the relationship, let that be the woman's department. Wait untill she brings it up. Just have a good time, don't be to needy. Besides that, she saying ''why not'', I think you're now in the 'kind a cool' category. It can move to any direction. Edited July 4, 2016 by Vado
Author timmi Posted July 7, 2016 Author Posted July 7, 2016 Another update. So we went for walk. Ended up eating pizza. At the start she looked distant but it got better. When we got back to her house, she then extended our date (her idea). She went to inside her apartment to get warmer clothes and came back. Had nice talk and kisses in the park into the night. But now she seems so cold again. It takes so much time for her to write me back. No instant replys?! Like what the hell. I try not to be needy. Even did not write to her for 24h. I don't understand if she wants to make me that back or what ? How should i proceed?
normal person Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 So basically, she likes you and everything is fine except she doesn't answer you immediately? I think you need to relax a bit. The benefit of texting is that you don't have to respond immediately, you can respond when it's convenient for you. I'm 29 and sometimes I wait 12+ hours to respond to something that isn't time sensitive, because I'm preoccupied, don't want to deal with it at that moment, etc. I wouldn't consider it a problem until it starts affecting the relationship. Best of luck.
Author timmi Posted July 7, 2016 Author Posted July 7, 2016 Thank you for your answer. It seems odd to me. I would understand if she is not online. But i see that she has read message and then silence. Why it seems odd is that i have never experienced that kind of behavior. All my friends answers immediately after reading message. Well i'm not going to tell her anything about that thats for sure. I guess i just have to chill about it. But what should i do. Should i also not answer immediately? Should i not say anything for days and wait her to write something ?
NIGHT1985 Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 I dunno. Most of my best relationships start with a lot of playful chatter/talking early on. I wouldn't want to try to get to know someone that sends 1 text every 10-12 hours.
JewelD Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 Well it doesn't sound like you're saying anything particularly interesting. There's been times where I'm talking to someone I like, but they say things that don't require a response, like, "It's so hot out today". Okay and? Where is that conversation going? Nowhere interesting. She probably looks at your texts and doesn't respond right away because 1. she has a life. it's easy to view messages, takes a little more effort to think of what to say and send one back. I check my phone at work sometimes but I'm not supposed to be on it so I don't respond until I get off. 2. The conversation is dead. Some people need to mentally stimulated. They don't like texting about the mundane and your conversations sound very dry. 3. She just doesn't like texting. Some people just aren't into it. You can't assume that just because you like texting and you respond instantly means that she's going to do the same. You're two different people with two different lives. Now, if she was texting you all the time and then suddenly stopped, that would be bad sign, but she's being consistent in not messaging back to quickly, which means it might just be who she is. Just keep the texting to a minimum (stop with the weather stuff) and focus on getting to know her in person.
Vado Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 Thank you for your answer. It seems odd to me. I would understand if she is not online. But i see that she has read message and then silence. Why it seems odd is that i have never experienced that kind of behavior. All my friends answers immediately after reading message. Well i'm not going to tell her anything about that thats for sure. I guess i just have to chill about it. But what should i do. Should i also not answer immediately? Should i not say anything for days and wait her to write something ? Only text her for date-invitations, girls have girls for chitchat
Recommended Posts