VeveCakes Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Ironically ..thats exactly what she said. Why did she confessed right away that. Thats bugging me lots ? To relieve her guilt... and nothing else
Author RLG1959 Posted July 4, 2016 Author Posted July 4, 2016 Some times people aren't strong enough to end relationships so they do things with the desired outcome being the other person ends the relationship. Then why her mother told me thatvand why does she say sorry and still all my pictures up on her insta and fb?
Marc878 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Pretty simple. You need to move on. She's not relationship material unless you just want what everyone else is getting. your heart is out of sync with your head. No future here. If that was what you're looking for.
JohnnyStreet Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Sorry, not reading all that, but from what I gather, she cheated on you while drunk... I say get back together with her, give it a month or two, get drunk, have sex with someone else (make sure your S/O finds out about it), and see what HER reaction will be. Will she forgive you and give you the benefit of the doubt?
JollyDays Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 As they said in a certain movie (with a twist, of course)... RUN RLG1959!! RUN!! 1
lolablue17 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 (edited) Yes of course she regrets, of course she was drunk and it was a mistake, and of course she is not a bad person, and generally she's an honest person, she could have kept this event to herself and you would never find out. BUT! I think that the question is not if she feels remorse or not. The question is not if she's a liar (She's not). The question is not if she loves you or no (She does). The questions are: 1. Do you want this kind of relationship with someone who gets drunk and sleep with guys at parties. Or the other way - Do you want a relationship with someone who will never go to parties and blame you and hate you for that? 2. You will never have what you had with her. She ruined it for ever. You had a pure love with all the sparks, stars, high level bonding. It's been destroyed. From now on you will have a wounded relationship with a scar. Even if you forgive her, Do you want that? It's totally different from what you had before. It's a new story with new feelings. I know I wouldn't stay. Yes I could forgive and even understand. But not to stay, because what you had is dead forever. Now she's just a cheater. Someone you will never trust. She will always to be considered as a recidivist. The statistics are not at your benefit. People who lose control while drunk turn to repeat their behavior in the future. And next time you might never know about it. Edited July 4, 2016 by lolablue17 1
bummer Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Please give me some input...do you think she really regrets it ..has remorse and know she ****ed up ( althought is very lame to use alcohol as why she did it) Yes she feels remorse and terrible. She was likely lonely for physical attention without you. And more importantly, she's 23. This is part of the 23 yo girl's rite of passage. Yes the alcohol compromised her judgement and no it's not a lame excuse. See the facts objectively and when you've calmed down talk through it. In my case, I took my ex back, sent the signal anything you do I'll forgive, never trusted her alone again, and she finalized her desire to see others by leaving me after another month. Let your girl experiment. Find her in a few years of its really worth it. run, rlg1959, run!! 1
Darren Steez Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Yeah didn't read that book you just wrote but get rid of her, she took dude back to her house.. Banged him with pictures of you overlooking.. Alcohol is not to blame, she called a cab to her place after he had kissed her so she was horny and dude banged her. So no, don't give her the benefit of a doubt. As you said drinking lowers inhibitions but she knew exactly what she was doing so she wanted to have sex with him. Hope you dumped her and she stays dumped.
Poppy47 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Long distance relationships are difficult enough without throwing a cheating partner into the mix. Find somebody in your own city at least. She might be doing this every other night in her own country. She doesn't seem to be committed to you at all. Poppy.
Lorenza Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Sorry, not reading all that, but from what I gather, she cheated on you while drunk... I say get back together with her, give it a month or two, get drunk, have sex with someone else (make sure your S/O finds out about it), and see what HER reaction will be. Will she forgive you and give you the benefit of the doubt? Hope it's a joke, otherwise this would be incredibly immature to do. OP, she got wasted, lost self-control and betrayed you. Break up with this girl. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 It's done, OP. Why would you want to give her the benefit of the doubt? She's an ocean away from you and really, to be blunt, what type of future do you really have together? It is very difficult to make a trans-Atlantic move (and I speak from personal experience) and you have very little in-person time together to make that work anyway. Forget about her and date locally. She isn't committed to you.
smudge21 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 So which was it: she got so drunk she had no idea what she was doing (so is she saying the guy raped her or at least took advantage); or was she not that drunk and therefore was willing and able for everything that happened. Either way, I reckon you already know what you have to do. Once the trust is destroyed so is the respect. If you let her off for this, you are basically lowering your own self respect and telling her you're okay with her actions. There are plenty of people out there who would love to be in a loving, loyal, respectful and trustworthy relationship. Go find one of them. 2
ItsDone Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Although I give her credit for at least coming clean, you know that every time she goes out, you're going to worry. Do you trust her? If you can say yes whole heartedly, then MAYBE you guys have a chance. I was lied to very early on in my relationship. I figured it out on my own and she finally came clean. I forgave her and trusted her about 80% after that. 2.5 years later, she ends the relationship out of the blue. Gut tells me she did the same(cheated) all over again. People don't usually change. Good luck with whatever you choose.
Ensam Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 When someone has cheated on you and wants you back, you only have that much time to put things on hold and let them own up to their words. If you were living together or at least nearby this would be a lot easier. You just never get the same feel from a video call as when you are physically close to a person and there's only so much she can do from a distance to prove how she feels about you. What I mean is that at the moment you pretty much only have previous experiences and her word to go on for forgiving her. And if you do forgive her and see her again in a few months time, she will probably expect things to be back to pretty much what they used to be. So she gets away very easily with what she has done. And I wouldn't trust her not to do it again the next time you're apart. To learn from mistakes it truly has to cost us something.
BuddyX Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Alcohol alters actions not morals. If she's meant to do it, she's meant to do it. She's using Alki as an excuse. Coming from personal experience. Had the same story. Eastern Euro LTR. Never listened to my gut. LTR turned into Marriage. She had "slip ups" in our marriage. Drop her like a bad habit. 1
Author RLG1959 Posted July 4, 2016 Author Posted July 4, 2016 Alcohol alters actions not morals. If she's meant to do it, she's meant to do it. She's using Alki as an excuse. Coming from personal experience. Had the same story. Eastern Euro LTR. Never listened to my gut. LTR turned into Marriage. She had "slip ups" in our marriage. Drop her like a bad habit. For the record, I only ever told one man that I cheated on him. Everyone else I immediately left. But with the one man I wanted to fix it, I wanted to stay, I wanted to get help and make it work. He was able to forgive me. But he wasn't in love with me anymore and couldn't forget. We tried for 15 months before we gave up. I just read that...what do you think fellas. Maybe she really regrets and wants to fix it?
doble Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 For the record, I only ever told one man that I cheated on him. Everyone else I immediately left. But with the one man I wanted to fix it, I wanted to stay, I wanted to get help and make it work. He was able to forgive me. But he wasn't in love with me anymore and couldn't forget. We tried for 15 months before we gave up. I just read that...what do you think fellas. Maybe she really regrets and wants to fix it? Is the bold her telling you she only ever told one man she cheated on him, and every other man she cheated on she left the relationship without a word? Holy Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously the help she got didn't take because she cheated on you too. She is a serial cheater, plain and simple, no if's no and's or but's. She cheated with several men when she was in a relationship with another. My goodness!!! This is your cue to skidoo..... Run for your life 1
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