Girlfriend slept with someone while drunk? Forged or Forgive?

[RLG1959]

I recently posted this..it will tell how the lies started!

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/577426-girlfriend-needs-space-over-ltd-relationship

 

A friend of her told me everything!

She was seeing her ex who she has broke with him 5 times in and out. I even read nessage her friend send ne because she didnt like what she was doing.

 

It goes like:

Sould complicated we already 5 times separetely and again.

Then she said:

But this time is final.

 

Thats was the conversation with her friend. Damn

 

She mentioned is over 2 weeks ago.

 

Anyways I got her good. She lied damn good..the usual is not me you line. I need space. Im a mess you may realize that etc.

 

Hell even before i remember one time she told me im gong out with a friend male(that i know actually) she asked for permission and i decided to drop trust at his best and let her. Probably lied more than that. I got no doubts the cheating was phisically.

 

Ill admit..yes I lover her..oh I know..rare to see a man who really loves nowadays. But im able to because i believe in it. She told me the same every day!! Damn Ladies say mens are liars but hey they are better at lying.something that i knew but didnt expected of her.

 

To end this:

She keeps texting me. Shes acting like aint **** happen..oh yes she might have broken up with him to stay with me. But amm *** that. Im more than dissappointed..shame on her. She dont know what she lost.still as contradicting that may sound i still want her...but cant allow such thing or accept just like that or else i better give up my balls.

 

So how can i can make her feel like utter lying ****..break her ego in pieces and make her feel ****ty for a damn while after i leave her a..s.

Any advice or just leave her cold and dont even say a word! I asked her ..yes i did ..if there is another guy speak up we both mature adults here 23 ..I 25.

3 times she say no.

She still has my pictures on facebook..relationship status blah blah.

 

Help me out fellas.

[TaraMaiden2]

You're far from 'mature' if you seeking ways to make her life miserable.

You can't love her as you insist you do, if you also want to hurt her.

The best form of revenge is to live well.

 

Go No Contact, block, delete, deny, move on.

 

That's it and all of it.

Please don't come up with any protests.

Life rarely gives us the ending we seek, whether it's for our benefit or anyone else's.

 

Give it up, and move on.

[RLG1959]

You're far from 'mature' if you seeking ways to make her life miserable.

You can't love her as you insist you do, if you also want to hurt her.

The best form of revenge is to live well.

 

Go No Contact, block, delete, deny, move on.

 

That's it and all of it.

Please don't come up with any protests.

Life rarely gives us the ending we seek, whether it's for our benefit or anyone else's.

 

Give it up, and move on.

 

 

Feedback accepted!. True not mature at all may be...yet im not seekong revenge. She betray my trust. Lie allot and im supposed to leave it like that. Not even tell her to her face . so she can apologize etc.

Also I do lover here..there lies the part where im in the should i leave her or work this out ( i still want ger and yes still lover) And since she wont admitt. I should just play it like nothing happened!

Edited April 17, 2016 by RLG1959

[Zahara]

So how can i can make her feel like utter lying ****..break her ego in pieces and make her feel ****ty for a damn while after i leave her a..s.

Any advice or just leave her cold and dont even say a word! I asked her ..yes i did ..if there is another guy speak up we both mature adults here 23 ..I 25.

3 times she say no.

She still has my pictures on facebook..relationship status blah blah.

 

Help me out fellas.

 

Speaking from experience -- you just go NC and move on. Trust me, they don't care about how you feel, except for how they feel. You can try to make them feel bad but they won't -- do you think someone that can lie to your face over and over again has the capacity to feel bad for you or by your words? Nope. Just move on from this.

[TaraMaiden2]

Feedback accepted!. True not mature at all may be...yet im not seekong revenge. She betray my trust. Lie allot and im supposed to leave it like that. Not even tell her to her face . so she can apologize etc.

 

If you dump her without a word, go No Contact and block all and every way of ever being able to talk to you - she will get it, believe me.

 

Your silence and complete disappearance, will say more to her than any angry words could ever articulate.

And if you ever meet her, run into her, or she comes to see you to talk - blank her off completely.

[SammySammy]

I agree with Tara. Seeking ways to hurt her is not mature or necessary.

 

Move on with your life, man.

[RLG1959]

If you dump her without a word, go No Contact and block all and every way of ever being able to talk to you - she will get it, believe me.

 

Your silence and complete disappearance, will say more to her than any angry words could ever articulate.

And if you ever meet her, run into her, or she comes to see you to talk - blank her off completely.

 

Sounds like a plan. Did you read the part where she lives in europe and me in the states! Therefore is plain messages and skype. Like i said she hasnt removed a bit of me in all her social medias. Which either she wants ne to do it or she actually dumped him in order to give us a go.

See where im at.

Im moving there in a year or so. Or I was moving there..

[RLG1959]

I agree with Tara. Seeking ways to hurt her is not mature or necessary.

 

Move on with your life, man.

 

I wont.. Thanks to you guys. Ill just accept it and move on. Still the whola social media is plain confusing.

[Satu]

Its over.

 

Delete

Block

Ignore

 

 

Take care.

[CarrieT]

So how can i can make her feel like utter lying ****..break her ego in pieces and make her feel ****ty for a damn while after i leave her a..s.

Any advice or just leave her cold and dont even say a word! I asked her ..yes i did ..if there is another guy speak up we both mature adults here 23 ..I 25.

3 times she say no.

She still has my pictures on facebook..relationship status blah blah.

 

You are not mature. You are in your twenties, but far from mature if you want to play games like you are mentioning here. That is something that adolescents do.

[mightycpa]

Feedback accepted!. True not mature at all may be...yet im not seekong revenge. She betray my trust. Lie allot and im supposed to leave it like that. Not even tell her to her face . so she can apologize etc.

Also I do lover here..there lies the part where im in the should i leave her or work this out ( i still want ger and yes still lover) And since she wont admitt. I should just play it like nothing happened!

DUDE! She is never going to apologize. If cornered or confronted, she will justify that behavior with your inadequacies.

 

Your absolute best move, in my opinion, is not to go away silently. Rather, it is to contact her via FB post and tell her

 

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID AND YOU ARE RIGHT - WE WILL NEVER WORK OUT IN THE LONG RUN. GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

then, and only then, do you go no contact.

 

Why? Because in the long run, you'll be that guy who listened to her, evaluated her, and told the world that she wasn't good enough for you to pull all the stops out to make it work. That will be who you are to her and everybody else she knows now, for the rest of their lives.

 

If you just ghost, she can paint you in her mind (justification) as the bad guy, the guy who disappeared, who was never going to work out anyway.

[RLG1959]

You are not mature. You are in your twenties, but far from mature if you want to play games like you are mentioning here. That is something that adolescents do.

 

Jesis ***ing christ.

Mam you know wut. True. I even admit it. For my age still got lots to work on and i dont even know why i wrote the whole making her feel miserable. Is not the point i wanted to make.neither what i want for her. I love this woman ..i do..therefore i why im damn hurt.

 

But guess wut. Im a 25 ! Yes 25 born and breed in the 90s years old man who in the past 5 years was addicted heavily to:

Alcohol. THC. Nicotine. .and heavy procrastination. I was a dumb**** who thought life was a joke..

Is like i frozed myself in time while at the same time fried my brain. Or got close to it ..if not i wouldnt even be here writing but in a rehab clinic. Fried my dopamine so much i got severe depression at certain peak moments and self esteem issues.

I put my step forward and is been a month already of the before mentioned out of my life.every day im getting stronger and becoming the fella i was mean to be and finally the mos important organ in the body is getting that break and rewiring and becoming stronger smarter etc. Am I perfect...far from it. Yet

I met this amazing woman...she knows all this yet she fell in love and still wants to be in my life me and loves me. Yet she did what she did and lied about it.

Im here for support..to be in the community and to aslo bring some of w.e knowledge i savaged from past.

 

But thank you.. your feedback i admit to be true.

[RLG1959]

DUDE! She is never going to apologize. If cornered or confronted, she will justify that behavior with your inadequacies.

 

Your absolute best move, in my opinion, is not to go away silently. Rather, it is to contact her via FB post and tell her

 

then, and only then, do you go no contact.

 

Why? Because in the long run, you'll be that guy who listened to her, evaluated her, and told the world that she wasn't good enough for you to pull all the stops out to make it work. That will be who you are to her and everybody else she knows now, for the rest of their lives.

 

If you just ghost, she can paint you in her mind (justification) as the bad guy, the guy who disappeared, who was never going to work out anyway.

 

Thanks for your post. I appreciate it. Strong comment on the inadequacies..but true to a certain point.

I dont know why she still has me on facebook etc.

But i will do what you beforemntioned. I dont wanna leave her...but in the end if i stay ill be just a wussy beta.

So true. Leaving her is for the best.

[dumbass2]

If you stay and there are no consequences, she will loose respect for you and you will never get that back. you could get back with her and make it work a little while longer, but she will do it again. Why? because you've already taken her back after cheating and on top of that, lying about it. She doesn't even sound remorseful or she would have taken responsibility and admit, but she lied. I'd be done with that. You also will not be able to trust her again and will have resentment.

 

To me there are two types of cheating

 

1. Relationship is at a rocky point. Too much alcohol one night out with friends and a one night stand with someone they don't know and will never see again.

This could be worked through or at least given a chance in my opinion if the cheater is upfront and honest about it and really wants to work on relationship issues.

 

2. The romantic partner has an on going affair with an ex or some other person. It continues for a while and there is constant communication.

This is unforgivable in my book. A one night mistake versus an on going affair? Not even close and not worthy of trying with that person. I don't care how honest they are and how much they apologize. An ongoing affair means tons and tons of lying to cover it up.

[Marc878]

You just go dark and block everything.

[ExpatInItaly]

Cut her out of your life. Delete her on social media. You won't be able to make her feel bad or apologize because she simply doesn't care that much. It hurts, but it's true.

 

It's a good thing you two live so far apart. This will make moving on much easier for you.

 

Work on ways to improve yourself and live your best life.

[RLG1959]

Pardon my grammar at the moment im not able to fully be on my highest level..this just happened yesterday.... So bare with me on that.

 

We met in the states whe she was on vacation with her family (a week) We fell in love ect! Met her family and even had dinner with them. After that it was all msg and Video call every day. for 2 months and then she came over to be with me for a whole month. One month after I wnet and visited her. She (23) lives in europe. I am 26...

 

It was all I love you ... I love you too kind of relationship, with trust and boundaries etc. We spoke from morning to the night all the time. We had plans to live together in a year and she wanted a family and kids etc. I know all her friends and she knows mines as well. As well family on both sides.

 

I will jump right to it now...

2 days go it was her roommate graduated and they went to celebrate...They went a house party to celebrate. She video called me when she was there, like 10pm on her time. I saw the people she were with is fellas and girl I met when I was there...she was fairly drunk already but not to the point of numbling words or not sounding eloquent. We had a good talk etc and the usual I love you and have a good night. They went to a club after..the time I did not know when.

 

A a rule we have she had to text me as soon she is on her way home and when she gets home too. None of this happened...I could smell already something was up.... I woke up at 5 am and message her in and not to angry way that she didnt let me know what sup and broke up such rule (which is is very curical in long distance relationship) Her only reply was:

 

Im sorry... I was very drunk . My reply was only k (at this moment my instict was already firing up as well anger...I was already on to something and boy wasnt I right)

 

After that she messages me telling me if she can call me... (she never does that) again another signal.

 

As I was already fired up... I literally didnt reply in the whole day to write her in the afternoon... she never answered and I called her many times! she never did.

 

Next Day she calls! and here is where the bomb comes.

 

Alright I need your help alright Dear Readers... I really need your input.

 

First words... I need to tell you something.. I cheated on you! (My reaction wasnt anger at that very moment I laught it off and told her goodbye) Then she keep insiting by calling and we did video call, she couldnt even put her face on the screen after a few minutes. There was no tears but she had that shameful face looking like hell. I just looked her and kept quiet while staring... not even a word I say. Out of the nowhere anger got to me and koncked the phone off and battery and everything near me went flying. When I turn it on she called me twice on video call and I didnt answer. Then she message me and this when the story! comes.

 

So fellas ...again I know the grammar is all over the place..Im just feeling like **** right now . Bare with me alright. Here is whatsup.

 

 

She goes the club with her roomate... she say she was already drunk. She met this guy who she saw!! months back!! and had a small conversation with him ( this I dont believe tho ) then her roomate disappears (this is what she says) and while talking with the dude out the nowhere he kissed her!! (she kissed back ) At this point I ask..what da **** were you thinking! Her answer was ALCOHOL ! that she was very drunk and one thing led to another. This being said... and here is where gets even more F up. They all get out he roomate etc and take a cab. Her excuse was that she called the cab and him went in to without her actually being aware !! (I know what you gonna say..dude you r being fooled big time) lets keep going this get even worse. So I kept hearing the talk...they get home ..and they were talking in the kitchen etc and boom again one thing led to another and they had sex.. in.. the same bed where I slept with her.. where I stayed with her.. and in the same room where all my ****ing pictures are on the wall!!

I know what you r saying about now. I should stop writing..but for the tiny benefit of the doubt .. I will keep writing.

 

She tells me she got up next morning and only remember a few moments of the night.. that she drank some 70 percent rum! She told the dude she had a boyfriend etc. Dude went off the apt and she went to the room and started crying and crying ( her words...but who knows she probably has morning one huh) anyways on the whole day ..which was the day she didnt reply to me or pick up any of my calls. she say she was crying and didnt know how to talk to me..that she felt horrible and ashamed. (slept all day and night ... that was her tell the next day when she came out with all this)

 

 

So there it is..the story..lets quickly jump to sorry for part. I dont want you fellas to get red eyes by reading too entirely much.

 

Im sorry... im ashamed. you can call me this or that (she actually mentioned the words herself..-you fellas can guess which ones right! ) im sorry I didnt now what I was doing I was drunk as hell. I felt horrible the next moring blah blah etc. I love you I want (ed) a family with you etc I love you very much.. I got no excuse for what I did I know an alcohol is not an excuse noting is (she did say that but didnt she mentioned the 70 percent rum part) At this point i told her you know what you did and u cheated on me. I also made her show me the person she slept with. She even knew his facebook profile which means... She remember his name ( jajaja yeah alcohol ) I never wanted to see him.. like i give a **** it was just a trick to see if she remembers and if it is true that she only spoke with him months back, means that even if she did..damn you remember that dudes name months back ( right! )

 

anyways.. at this point I say.. Good talk. Farewell. Any last words"?

Her last words.. a damn paragraph saying about the same with a bit more in it. I love you very much and if you can find in your hearth to forgive me im here. Dont change who you are i love you the way you r blah bla blah.

I didnt reply to this.. (bare in mind this is whatsapp she saw that I read it)

 

So... I wanna kill this post already before your eyes blead jajaj nah jk...give me a few more minutes of your time guys.

 

Before I jump in to few facts that are more towards of the 1 percent benefit of the doub. She wrote me again not that long after that last message saying im so sorry. and the in the AM she wrote me I love you in 4 different languages (jesus...women nowaday huh) that being said I did lover her.. i did was in to her lots. Did wanted a life with her and give my everything to her etc.

 

Facts:

1- I didn video call with her before the club..I can do a check mark on the drunk part. Which she was already (but how come she remember the whole my friend left me alone with him..and the cab thing) She still had full control. (lie number one in the excuse arena)

 

2- She hasnt deleted any of my pictures on her social media ( I did all this already.. and i mean everything including her friends and family)

 

3- Chatted with her moms afterwards ...just wrote her to say goodbye ( no I did not mention anything about it..but she knew already) wrote her a hell of a well goodbye letter. her answer was;

Dont say goodbye yet. Dont know what else to say! Can we skype or talk tomorrow (the m0ther already knows)

 

4- This one is the one that actually gives her ...well lets say 0.1 point on her favor. (she came clean didnt she..she coulda have lied to me. but she wanted to tell me the next morning when I never reply..so she wanted come clean right away) well that show courage and lets just say ...well can we say caring for the relationship!! You fellas tell me

 

 

Ending:

Come on fellas im not naive...she went out. got drunk.. and did something that she couldnt while sober because guilt wouldnt have not let her. Drink lowered her inhibition and up her guilt free...horny level went up and she did what she couldnt do while sober. I aint a fool..she wanted to keep talking to that guy..she wanted that kiss.. and she took him home.

 

BUT (wait is there a but...thats up to you to tell me guys)

BUT!! can I give her that benefit of the doubt that she really couldnt control herself while drunk! (even if when we were together i saw her drunk and she was alway on her toes and fine) She says she woke up and dont remember much!!

 

Anyways ..THe end. Fellas.. I need your input and I thank you so much for taking your time to read this ****. I will end by saying that part of me still want her..still love her. That I should forgive her and inforce some very strict rules.

 

Please give me some input...do you think she really regrets it ..has remorse and know she ****ed up ( althought is very lame to use alcohol as why she did it)

Edited July 4, 2016 by RLG1959

[VeveCakes]

What's your long term plan with this relationship? Move to her country?

 

My vote is dump her. Trust is broken, it took her a few drinks to cheat on you. She has no boundaries.

[Hamish57a]

No way man, you can defend her til you're blue in the face but not happening. Get out right now and stop fooling your self if it happened once, it'll happen again sorry bud

[RLG1959]

What's your long term plan with this relationship? Move to her country?

 

My vote is dump her. Trust is broken, it took her a few drinks to cheat on you. She has no boundaries.

 

 

I know bro.. and my plan was to move with her. She does seem to regret it..sad and depressed about it.

But jesus christ... is all f up.

[bubbaganoosh]

Look. In my opinion you being here and her in Europe is not good for any relationship.

 

Granted she fessed up but if it's me I find a girl close by and move on.

[RLG1959]

No way man, you can defend her til you're blue in the face but not happening. Get out right now and stop fooling your self if it happened once, it'll happen again sorry bud

 

Ha man.. I do love this bi.. Damn. I already deleted her and all that.. and no reply. Just havent move on quite yet!! like what if she really changes and gets her **** together and proves to me she is a different persona.

[VeveCakes]

Ha man.. I do love this bi.. Damn. I already deleted her and all that.. and no reply. Just havent move on quite yet!! like what if she really changes and gets her **** together and proves to me she is a different persona.

 

You deserve better....

[RLG1959]

You deserve better....

 

Ironically ..thats exactly what she said.

Why did she confessed right away that. Thats bugging me lots ?

[DKT3]

Some times people aren't strong enough to end relationships so they do things with the desired outcome being the other person ends the relationship.