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Posted

My young GF knows everything about the escorting aspect of my past, and also the fact that I remain platonic friends with some of my clients from that time. I told her everything about it before she and I entered into a relationship. I gave her time to think about all aspects of my life, and the choices I had made over the years, and to reconsider being with me, if she so desired.

 

OK, you seem to have your head in the clouds here.

She is obviously a smart cookie if her company sent her to represent them, so I suggest you start putting at least one of your feet back on the ground here.

You were in effect pursued by this girl, you perhaps need to ask yourself why?

Posted (edited)
I guess money.

Older people have the trappings of wealth that many younger people cannot now achieve, due to the economic climate.

Maybe yes to few....

But me not. I never had a boyfriend before my ex husband, but when I was 18, I saw my sister crying a lot because her second bf who is her first love broke up with her through phone calling. And I see her how much she got hurt and she tells me don't get boyfriend who is at the same age like You cause they just play games and You will get hurt like I do now. So when I met my husband 46 and I was still 18. I told myself, ok I will give a try. He was the sweetest man for me and always affectionate. I fell in love with him so after a year and 1 month he proposed and I said yes. But sad, he broke up with me after 9 years.

I thought older man are old enough to hold relationship and no more playing games. More matured. So I did give a try and fell for him.

Edited by urmysong
Posted
I don't have anything to really add other than there seems to be alot of young people these days who want to date people 20-25 years older than them. Why?

 

Daddy issues. I speak from experience. The divorce rate is high, single motherhood rates are high..lots of kids are growing up without fathers.

 

OP, enjoy it while it lasts but don't assume it's going to be long term. That's my advice.

Posted

I think this can be OK for you, but not so great for her if thinking long term. It can go in many ways .

 

If she gets into her head to marry you and you do get married it could "work" for a while but as she gets closer to her 40s and will be vibrant and all, you will be in your 60s. Then there is the kids discussion and whether you want to have them at over 50, and if she wants to have them too. Long term it doesn't look great for her. I know a couple like that, they are really not a match anymore, he's like grandpa compared to her now that she's around 40.

 

She could also get bored with you within some time and dump you. That would be good for both probably. I know someone who got dumped by a much younger woman after a year.

 

If it's short term it's fine.

 

Bottom line, it could work fine for a while but it's not a great idea to make it permanent or marriage, especially for the girl . She will surely regret it eventually.

Posted

I'm 47 and tend to date much younger men (22-37). My last LTR was with a man who was 13 years younger and it was the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had and that's including my 20 year marriage to man older than me.

 

I'm in no position to judge (obviously) but I will say that when you date someone so young you need to go into it realizing that when the honeymoon phase is over and the dust finally settles, it's just you and someone more than half your age standing in front of each other trying to find some common ground.

 

Apart from some very exciting and memorable sex, it's very difficult to build a life with someone that young. It's essentially expiration dating.

 

It just is.

 

Enjoy what you can while you can :)

  • Like 4
Posted

People have talked about biological clock, but I want to bring up the ultimate relationship and that is....death.

 

My dad was 12 years older than my mom. She was widowed before age 60.

 

The average life span is roughly 78 years. This is the low end, but I have a feeling you've been a bit of a risk taker.

 

You have 30 years of life left, probably.

 

More depressing, you only have around 15 years of marathon sex left in you. And that is being generous. When she hits her sexual peak in her mid to late 30s, you're going to need more than Viagra to keep up and keep it up.

 

I think to date a younger woman (or man) causally is fine. But, in this case, to be in a long term relationship is incredibly selfish. Maybe she does love you, maybe she could be the great love of your life. But, you're asking her to sacrifice a lot. 1). Good sex 2). Lifelong companionship 3). Number of children, if any.

 

Now, some women are suited for that. Low libido women. Women who fully understand what their future holds. Women who have their own interests and hobbies. Women who are strongly independent and self sufficient.

Posted
The username 'Gigolo' refers to an important chapter in my life that dates back to when I was 19. At that time I did odd jobs whenever they became available to support myself and pay off debt. I also took to moonlighting as a male escort, to supplement my income, when I stumbled upon that opportunity...

 

but am too prideful to go hat in hand

 

Touché then. My apologies. Clearly, the label is a badge of honor and a significant part of who you are. The flirting with illegality, counter-social norm lifestyle makes more sense with this dating scenario. Glad you discussed everything with the new gf and she accepts it. Enjoy.

Posted (edited)
OP, just follow your own heart and let the chips fall where they may.

 

Every relationship has its risks, negatives and positives, if it doesn't work out, you learn, you grow, you evolve. Take a chance! We only live ONCE! No matter how old you are.

 

I don't understand these posts. :rolleyes::confused:

 

Who's to say? We can speculate and project, but in the end it is about the two of you, and ONLY the two of you.

 

Many couples started out disliking each other! That is NOT uncommon. You both worked passed it and discovered you share a passion for each other... and have developed a close bond.

 

You have shared many intimacies which she seems to accept.... which imo is a good thing...a definite positive!

 

Age means nothing imo. It is the maturity level and emotional intelligence of those involved that matters.

 

I say go for it, enjoy the process of getting to know each other further and connecting, seeing what develops.

 

Again, it it doesn't work out, you move on.

 

Just like everyone else does whenever any relationship doesn't work out. No matter what their ages.

 

Best of luck!

 

I'm more likely in this camp. I hope she has been sensible enough to check you for STDs, my take on life is you only live once. Whether the relationship is safe and five-star rated, or borderline and exciting is irrelevant. For every action, there is a reaction, so just be prepared for what joy or fallout might ensue. Bear in mind, she is sig. younger, so you'll need to exercise some responsibility (i believe we all have a sense of responsibility toward those weaker than us, or younger)... Do you realky want that? Or, do you perceive her as a complete equal emotionally, psychologically, and physically?

 

PS. Your story is fascinating.

Edited by Offspring
  • Author
Posted (edited)
...I hope she has been sensible enough to check you for STDs....

 

PS. Your story is fascinating.

 

She didn't need to. I have always gotten tested regularly. In all my years of hedonism and mindless sex (and over seventy percent of my sexual encounters then were without condoms), I never ever got any STDs. Reckless as it now seems, some of my most outrageous action was during the peak of the HIV scare mania, yet I indulged in 'uncovered' action impulsively (both with clients, and with casual hook ups).

 

It is a mystery to me as to why I never ever caught anything. I have had a few near misses though. On one occasion (over twenty years ago), a lady I had been casually dating, called me and informed me that she had tested positive for HIV, and that she was reaching out to all her lovers to suggest them to get tested. Of her several lovers, two tested positive. I was among the lucky few who came up clean. That was a super traumatic experience, and my doctor at that time, suggested that I get repeatedly tested month after month for over a year. Nothing turned up.

 

Crazy as it now sounds, I resumed active duty with renewed vigor. A few years later there was a repeat incident. Yet again I escaped unscathed. Though I began religiously wearing a helmet when stepping out onto the field thereafter, there were occasions where my regular clients (women) who had become extremely familiar with me, insisted that I go 'bareback' (not use condoms).

 

I have always believed that an angel has been guarding me. In addition to the above two incidents, I have also been involved in four horrific vehicular accidents. On each occasion, my vehicle got totaled. Yet I walked away without so much as a scratch on my body.

 

Though my life is tamer today than it was two decades ago, I still get myself tested frequently.

Edited by Gigolo
Posted

I think what we have here is a difference in experience.

 

She's a young woman old enough to be your daughter and your getting older and proudly boasted about the many woman you've slept with, almost too many to count. She's only had sexual experience with one person.

 

 

She's just getting started, yet your'e probably ( weather you like it or not) are probably getting ready to slow down.

 

I would leave this girl alone. She wants to experience other men. I use to be like her. I would " date" the more experience guys to gain experience not to be exclusive with them. And of course when I say "date" I mean sleep with.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
I think what we have here is a difference in experience.

 

She's a young woman old enough to be your daughter and your getting older and proudly boasted about the many woman you've slept with, almost too many to count. She's only had sexual experience with one person.

 

 

She's just getting started, yet your'e probably ( weather you like it or not) are probably getting ready to slow down.

 

I would leave this girl alone. She wants to experience other men. I use to be like her. I would " date" the more experience guys to gain experience not to be exclusive with them. And of course when I say "date" I mean sleep with.

 

I accept that you make some valid points here.

  • Author
Posted
Have you two had sex with each other yet?

 

yes we have

Posted
I accept that you make some valid points here.

 

Gig,

 

I am very curious (given all your experience with women) if you take her age out of the equation...

what is it about this girl that make her so special to you?

Posted
Gig,

 

I am very curious (given all your experience with women) if you take her age out of the equation...

what is it about this girl that make her so special to you?

 

good point! and good question!

Posted

My husband is significantly older than me. The first few years together, it wasn't an issue. He was youthful and enjoyed doing the same things as I did. But once he felt secure in the relationship, it seemed like he stopped trying. Those youthful things he said he liked doing, he stopped making an effort to do. No more going out dancing and drinking. No more wild sex. Date night was dinner and the same old types of movies. If I had to do it again, I would not date somebody older.

 

So, are you putting up a facade for this woman or are you presenting the real everyday you?

Posted

My take is this is a "thing" young girls sometimes want to grasp onto, ie the "dating older men". I know when I was that age it was kind of like "mehh the boys my age are soooo boring..I'm going to be so mature and sophisticated and date a 40 year old b/c I'm so different and cosmopolitan, blah blah blah"

 

Many times at that age girls cant stand to be thought of as immature or young or green, so they tend to define themselves or jump into "maturity" by dating much older. Plus the money, and other trappings that comes along with it.

 

Not sure if thats whats up with your girl or not, but its definitely a mindset I've seen and experienced.

 

No one can say if its a good idea or bad. Like any relationship there is a large risk and with a huge age gap even moreso.

 

The public perception of course is usually not the greatest -- lots of assumptions will be made about you and about her. You may like that though.

  • Like 1
Posted
yes we have

 

Bravo! And if you only have 15 good years left, as another suggested, might as well make the most of them with a hot younger woman. She's old enough to make her own decisions and mistakes (you may or may not be a mistake). Regardless, if she doesn't make mistakes with you, she'd just make them with some other guy her age. Why is one better or worse than the other?

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