LostLady2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 We were friends for a long time. I always had doubts about you as ever being a good boyfriend, but I still loved you as a friend. Then one day, we met up and something happened. I still don’t know what, but it’s never happened to me before. I felt something for you I never in a million years thought I would and I could not stop it. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to tell you, because I was so scared my hunch about you was right and you would never be ready for what I was. You knew all about how I grew up, that I was abandoned and had a rough life growing up, that I was orphaned etc. And I asked you not to hurt me. You swore you wouldn’t and that you cared. In fact, you begged me to trust you. Night and day for months we spoke about our plans and you reassured me at every turn you would be there and that you adored me, that you were serious and really wanted to try. You made me believe in you in a way I never believed in anyone else. I thought I was being smart, taking all this time to talk to you and iron out any possible differences or incompatibility and in the end, we both agreed we wanted the same thing; each other. I had worked really hard in my life to be a good person, I got my Master’s Degree in Social Work to help others, because I knew how cruel the world could be and I wanted to help those who had experienced similar things to myself. My career was going well and now, finally, so was my personal life. I found a guy who really cared about me and who would be my best friend, too. I felt secure in a relationship for the first time in my life, because what guy would take so much time talking, endlessly for months to reassure me after years of friendship if he didn’t ever mean it? Well, now I know the answer: you. I was always there for you, I stood by you through things, as friends even, that I never should have. I was good to you and supported you and never did you wrong. I was honest and loving and always thought of your feelings, not just my own. As soon as you got me, as soon as I let you in my heart, you ran. And not only did you run, you told me your feelings had been all wrong, that you realized you never really cared and that you still actually loved someone else. You used me and played me for a fool and then took off, leaving our friendship and relationship behind like they meant nothing. You didn’t appreciate the kind, loving girl you had by your side. You didn’t care less the lies you told me. You turned cold as ice to me even when I tried to get a valid explanation. You dismissed me like I had never meant much at all, in fact, you basically said I hadn’t. After all the things we said, and you holding my hand every where we went, and the mind-blowing love made, and the way I went out of my way for you, you let go like nothing. I want you to know how much you hurt me, but not half as much as you’ve hurt yourself. One day, you’re going to remember what you did to me. It will be either when someone does the same to you, or when you find yourself alone or in some miserable relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you like I do. You made me feel like a fool, a clown, an annoyance you wanted out of your way, but someday, you will see, you are the fool. You’re not grown up yet enough to know what I learned from a young age; this world is a cold and lonely place sometimes. It’s hard to find true friends, it’s hard to find people who love you and treat you right. It’s hard to find someone honest and true to be with. So you go ahead and dismiss me now. Go ahead and cry over some other girl, who slept with your friend or the one who cheated on you repeatedly and go ahead and laugh in my face cause I’m sitting here crying over what you did and give me cold, cutting answers to get rid of me. One day, the tables will turn. You mark my words. One day, you’re going to miss the one person who loved you, because what was there was true. Just remember these words, because I won’t be around when they come true. You were too blind to see what you had in front of you. So in the end, you've made fools of both of us. 6
SixxChick Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 I could have written just about every word of this. I'm sorry that you had to go through something like this too. Being used is the worst. So, I feel your pain. The first thread in this forum is entitled, "No Contact Support Thread . Keep posting there when you reach a weak point and want to contact your ex. It helps keep you on track with NC. Take care. 1
sorano Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 That was amazing. Good for you for writing this. I know how you feel. The pain, betrayal, all that. I know it to well. Glad I read your thread.
peonyrose Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Yes girl, good for you for putting it in words. Karmas a b***h, I keep reminding myself that. What goes around, comes around.
Author LostLady2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Author Posted July 5, 2016 Thanks all. I have just never felt more betrayed. This guy was my friend for years. We spent months talking about being together and my concerns and him reassuring me and in no time, he cuts and runs, not only romantically, but as a friend, seems not to care i'm no longer there. I've never been in such unbearable pain over a breakup. I can't believe of all people he'd dupe me after all this time.
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