Morphee331 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 So, my boyfriend (ex now) and I have been together for 3 years but have been friends for 9. 7-8 months into our relationship he left for the Marines. OMG he has always been such a great boyfriend. He is loving, and always putting me and my dreams before anything. We are so different but we match. After MOS school he was stationed in japan. That was hard on us but we still made it work. However he began to become depressed there. He said the base was crappy and I think being away from home made it worse. He came home on leave later last year and shortly after I became pregnant. He was not thrilled, mainly because I was leaving for school the following fall and he was so far away. However he supported whatever decision I was to make. In December I had a miscarriage. Which was very hard on me. But his depression and stress only got worse..so he just was not there for me emotionally like I needed him to be. I would have been able to get past it, however he grew unhappier and unhappier where he was at and was unable to pull himself out of it. He begun taking his anger out on me and snapping out of nowhere. I didn't have my best friend anymore..and I did not want to end up resenting him over the things he was doing, so I ended things and told him we will see how things are when he comes back home. It was a mutual break up and he understood where I was coming from..even then he encouraged me not to let this hold me back and dont sit around crying all day because of it. He told me to go out and stay busy. I know he still loves and cares for me..but this is so hard on me. I hold on to hope that we will get back together but I know I need to move forward and let whatever happen happen. We have not talk and I dont think I will talk to him until he talks to me. We are not angry at each other.. who has been through a break up and ended up getting back together later? can you share some stories and give advice?
Hamish57a Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I'm sure countless people have split and then got back together, I have my self in a couple of relationships. It's never the same the second time around. It can be very hard to find that special time again. I think in your case he needs to address his problems before you try again. Once you lose your trust in an individual, its hard to get it back, being in love helps but it isn't everything. You've known each other for quite some time and have been through a lot. My advice to you is support him through his process, be there for him. He in turn should be there for you. You may find a deeper understanding of each other and in turn the relationship should blossom and be better than it once was. In my case it didn't work because we were both too stubborn to see each others issues and we weren't patient. Another learning curve. Relationship take work, be patient, compassion, that's the key. My next relationship will be very different than my past few. Good Luck
JewelD Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I have. Multiple times with the same person. But that's because I wasn't being honest with myself about how crappy the relationship was. I was just so used to this person that my natural instinct was to try to keep things the same and stay together. It didn't last. When we got back together, the same problems were there. They even got a little worse because I was so tired of dealing with the same crap over and over. Eventually, it was over for good and it was the best option. He calls every few months when he's bored to try and rekindle things but I would never consider it. We were always wrong for each other. I don't know of a lot of people who broke up and then got back together and got married, but for me, I like to imagine that I'm not going to take and significant breaks from the person I'm truly meant to be with. That if we're having issues, we will work them out together instead of separating and hoping we become a better fit later on down the road.
Hamish57a Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I have to agree with Jewel, mine was multiple times as well, feeling guilty that I didn't do better but in reality we weren't meant for each other. When I went back the same problems were there in both cases. I guess you have to be honest with your self and decide, is this what I want, is this worth the fight. Well is it? In my case I was with a terrific person for years who was not like the others but then again if I really tried to enhance the relationship then it might of been different. you've got to come to terms with perhaps I haven't met my soul mate yet and move on.
Charlie99909 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I was able to get back with my ex for a second time that last twice as long. The first two months was great, but I was on guard for her to pull back. I let my guard down after I met her dad. Then, a month later she dropped me. It was gut wrenching because I had to go through it again. It's been 4 months and I still ache. While it may be hard to find the same spark, people do get back together. Always look out for yourself.
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