Ex messaged after 2 months and it broke me...did I do the right thing?

[ForeverAlone2016]

Hi everyone,

 

About 2 months ago me and x broke up. We were together for 3 years. He wanted to get married at the end of 2017, but I was not going to be ready at the time, financially so I wanted to put it off for at least 6 months - 1 year. Due to cultural issues (Asian background) the families got involved. He basically gave me an ultimatum that either I marry him end of next year or leave him. No room for discussion or anything or any concerns about my feelings or situation. The day after the ultimatum I called to talk about the issue, in front of his whole family he started yelling at me, told me I was harassing him (I literally only called the day after our fight to talk), he was laughing at me while I was crying, he was insulting my family. His whole family was there supporting him and laughing at my expense. I have never been so degraded in my whole life. Needless to say, I walked away. He was my first love so it hurts soooo much. He tried calling and messaging multiple times after we broke up. I stopped responding about 2 weeks afterwards coz he couldn't see how he disrespected me. He maintained that he was in the right for doing that to me in front of his family.

 

This morning I unblocked him on a particular social media forum (don't ask me why, I honestly don't have the answer to it) and saw that he has consistently been messaging me for about a month about how he loves me so much and misses me. No indication that he is apologetic for what happened. He claims that I walked out on him and one day I will realise what I lost. This message completely broke me like the first day we broke up. I started getting feelings back which I shouldn't. I know he doesn't respect me, because he has publicly humiliated, yelled and sweared at me before in a busy parking lot. I forgave him for that coz I was blinded by love.

 

Why is he messaging me now and professing such deep declarations of love and affection? Not two days after we broke up he started adding random girls on Facebook and flirting with him. I didn't reply to his message this morning but I was very close to doing just that. I am scared that I will never find love like we had again.

[Traceycprc]

Hi everyone,

He basically gave me an ultimatum that either I marry him end of next year or leave him. No room for discussion or anything or any concerns about my feelings or situation. The day after the ultimatum I called to talk about the issue, in front of his whole family he started yelling at me, told me I was harassing him (I literally only called the day after our fight to talk), he was laughing at me while I was crying, he was insulting my family. His whole family was there supporting him and laughing at my expense. I have never been so degraded in my whole life. Needless to say, I walked away.

 

You need to remember the above! Block him again and don't even respond to his messages. I know how you feel, so much pain and worrying you will never find love again. It's just emotions clouding your judgement at the moment. You will have clarity in time and you will see it was for the best. Do you really want to step back into an ultimatium? Sure the pain you are in now might end, but you will feel pain again just in a different way. You need to keep going forward and through. Getting in touch will set your healing back trust me. You will make it, so will I and we will meet someone that we will love again. Your life is not over even though it may feel like it at the moment. Stay strong you deserve so much better, take care of you.