Joseph z Posted July 3, 2016 Posted July 3, 2016 (edited) Ok so went NC for two weeks. We start texting again. I agree to go to counseling with her at her church. Everything actually goes good. We leave feeling pretty good. Have a great and happy day. I spend all afternoon helping her catch up on her business law schoolwork. Seems like she totally quit trying at school while we were broken up. I help her write a paper and explain what all the stuff means... Everything was wonderful until we decide to go out for a few drinks and shoot some pool. Another couple joins us and we play doubles. The girl that was shooting was sticking her butt out a little and doing sexy poses while she shot and making dirty jokes to all of us. Nothing too ridiculous but I knew it was going to upset my girl. Knowing she would feel threatened, because this has happened a few times before, I go out of my way to not pay attention to this girl. I literally look up at the ceiling when she shoots so I can't be mistaken for checking her out. Doesn't work :/. My girlfriend comes up out of nowhere and says she hates me and doesn't want to be with me anymore. I don't take it too seriously because she has said the exact same thing before in that type of situation. One Time it wasn't even that an attractive girl was near it was a lady who was at least 60 years old just hanging out near or table. Anyway, I pay our tab and say lets go home. As soon as we leave she starts saying hateful stuff to me. I kinda blow and and yell at her that there's no way she saw me look at the girl because I didn't do t not even once. When we get back to her place I get my stuff and leave. I am just at a loss here. We were really doing good it seemed like. I promise you guys I didn't look at that girl at all. It's like we are never gonna be able to have friends because she always gets threatened and starts being mad at me. If it bothered her so much why didn't she say something to the girl? I'm sorry for venting on here I'm just really upset. I was bending over backwards to make this all work and now we have broken up for the 4th time. What do I do now guys? Edited July 3, 2016 by Joseph z
ExpatInItaly Posted July 3, 2016 Posted July 3, 2016 You quit beating the dead horse, that's what you do. This one's done. And stop trying to bend over backwards - you're not doing anything wrong, based on your description. Your ex is the one with the problem, and it's not a problem you can fix. If she freaks out and launches nasty insults at you every time she thinks you might be looking at a woman, you are in for a real ride with this girl. My ex-boyfriend was very similar. I never ogled other men, cheated or even thought about it, but it didn't matter. He would throw tantrums and verbally attack me if I so much as smiled at a male clerk in a supermarket. I eventually realized I could not make such a miserable and insecure person happy. You need to end this relationship for good. 2
Zahara Posted July 3, 2016 Posted July 3, 2016 You'll never be able to be yourself or thrive happily in a relationship with someone like her. She sounds highly insecure, immature and controlling. Stop twisting into a pretzel to appease her because all you're doing is showing her that she can always force you into submission by throwing a childish tantrum every time she wants her way. Make this your last break-up. It's done. Unless you want another round of walking on eggshells. 2
Author Joseph z Posted July 3, 2016 Author Posted July 3, 2016 You'll never be able to be yourself or thrive happily in a relationship with someone like her. She sounds highly insecure, immature and controlling. Make this your last break-up. It's done. Unless you want another round of walking on eggshells Thank you for your input. This is almost exactly word for word what I say to her lol. I tell her I don't like walking on eggshells and I feel like I can't be myself when we go places. I shouldnt have to feel nervous about how she's going to react. I really felt like openly checking out girls since I'm going to be accused of it anyway but I never did because I don't go looking for drama. I'm definitely done with this though. We keep breaking up because we are not right for each other
Author Joseph z Posted July 3, 2016 Author Posted July 3, 2016 Expatinitaly thank you for your post. Yeah she definitely is the one with the problem. She has been cheated on before and that's why she is so insecure. I still think you're right though I don't want to be in a dysfunctional relationship anymore. It sounds like your experience is dead-on what's going on with me. She feels threatened even when I talk to store clerks too. I'm so glad I don't have that type of insecurity. I think the more time you spend with someone like that could mess with your own confidence and security. Like someone you're spending the majority of your time with will eventually start to rub off on you. I'm just going to have to do a better job with nc this time. Even if she texts me I gotta not respond to it. It's hard to do after a 2 yr relationship :/
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