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How soon is too soon?


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Posted

This topic has been discussed before, but i wanted to rephrase it in a different way.

 

How soon is too soon to talk about exclusivity? Is one month too soon? Wouldn't it be easier to ask right off the bat so that no one wastes their time?

Posted

Mybe this is not common, but with all of my bfs, it was never spoken, we just knew.

Posted

Yeah, I never had to ask, either. However, I think with a lot of guys, one month may be too soon. Most of the guys I go for are geeks and interested in commitment, so it wasn't an issue for me.

 

Hmm, after that bit of rambling I guess I'm not qualified to say. But keep in mind that a lot of guys will freak and run if you bring it up. Best to let them bring it up. Then again, you DO want to know if they're seeing other people, so.... :confused:

 

Ok, just ignore this post. :p

Posted

yea same here...most of the guys i have talked to usually brought it up...some would be within a week of talking, some would wait a month,etc...but alot of the dudes are taken by my quirkiness that they dont wait that long... but those relationships dont work well for me, we usually break up within 3months or so..well maybe thats because the are young and get so caught up in having a gf that they dont kno how to treat one...who knows...i might be getting into a relationship *crosses fingers* with an older dude,but we've only been talkin for lil less than a week and we've already gotten to the i like you alot stage :love: ...

 

but to answer the question at hand for you, too soon can not be soon enough...it depends on the chemistry you two have when you are together...you make start bein "exclusive" on ya second date, who knows..its what makes you both happy and comfortable with..

Posted

If you feel like you need to discuss it to MAKE yourselves exclusive, then chances are the relationship hasn't progressed to where it is naturally exclusive.

 

And as a rule (as a man) I would never bring it up.

Posted

six months is my rule. but 3 to 4 months is acceptable before asking someone to just see you exclusively.

 

yes and i agree with CELCIUS, the man should never, ever bring it up. it is the womans job to ask about it.

Posted

I would think it depends on your level of intimacy. If you are knocking boots fairly regularly in a month, then a month is fine. If you are still holding out three months later, then maybe that is fine as well.

 

I find that when I am intimate with someone, that is almost the trigger of being exclusive. I am not into sleeping wiht multiple women (well except for that one factasy of mine, but I digress) and I would hope she is not into sleeping with multiple men.

 

And I have really never had an "exclusive" talk, it is more of an understanding--naive on my part--perhaps

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