Havana Posted July 2, 2016 Posted July 2, 2016 (edited) I am a new member of this forum and I read a lot of your stories here because it helps me. However there is one thing I want to talk about and I think this is REALLY important if you want your ex back or not... A lot of people are talking about the NC and how it is important to go NC and really ignore the ex on every ways. I even saw post about ignoring birthday and everything. You have to be careful about that because in my case, my boyfriend broke up on me after 2 years. I went NC for few weeks but eventually I responded to one of his message, in a neutral ways. We even met after for a casual walking night outside... Just to talk about anything. Nothing more. Even in my head I was let say 75% over the breakup and understood the reasons why we broke up... Did you know that the same night, HE asked me to kiss him... I literally felt in love all over again and we were back together and had an amazing next 8 years together until now... And we are not breaking up for the same issue (just saying). So be careful about the NC. Take it seriously the fist few days, but then switch to LC (Low Contact). I would say go NC for min 30 days but then switch to LC. You don't need to send him message, but if he does, just reply neutral. Don't put too much feeling in it. Depending on how was your relationship, you don't need to hate someone. You probably shared amazing memories with that person. I think here the problem is not to avoid your ex. It is not always possible. But you must understand the reasons why you ended up where you are. Become a better person, a better version of yourself. If you want to get back with your ex, then hope for a while, but don't put everything in this believe. This is what I did the first time he broke up with me. I decided to become a better version of myself, and I did that 75% for me and 25% in hope to get back together... That way if he doesn't feel that he wants to get back with you, you're not loosing everything! Edited July 2, 2016 by Havana Spelling 1
peonyrose Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 (edited) I totally agree with you, we are all different people, different relationships. We are all on our own journey, we are learning. I can say I would never have done nc, only my ex blocked me completely and instantly, with bits of unblocking here and there. Hell I had to Google how to block someone from all the individual sites, phone, email etc. And I will say that blocking still doesn't sit well with me, it made me actually lose feelings for him, when he did it to me. But because of him doing that, I decided I wanted to hear zero of what the man has to say, nothing he ever could say, could change what he did. Yeah in a abusive, or infidelity or game playing relationship I get it, nc is the right way to go. But my ex had NO reason to block me, but he also did it with family and friends in the 3 years we were together, all the time. It never sat well with me, In fact it made me think what kind of a person was he. It angered me actually, he heard stuff he didn't like and bang he blocked them his sister, his brother, some of his friends, all at different times and usually unblocked after a few weeks or months. It never made me feel good towards him. I used to question it a lot in my head. And eventually he did it to me too. Yes there are times when you need to, but if your doing it to avoid stuff its WRONG. I'm doing nc only because I see no truth in anything the man says. Edited July 4, 2016 by peonyrose
Recommended Posts