bebegal Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 if your bf of 2 months told you he needed a break.. for a week.... how would you act towards him if he said at the end of the wk that he wanted you back... considering how hurt you are when you think things were going great...........and he obv. does not? Have any of you ever had someone tell you they want a break and then they really did want you back?
Swamp Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Like I said. Do not go crawling back to him. He will never respect you, and will just kick you to the curb again. Make him beg for you back without telling him to.
Author bebegal Posted June 27, 2005 Author Posted June 27, 2005 I am trying to be strong but how..?? How do I act strong. He is supposed to tell me friday where he stands. I never told him but I have to work friday night. What do I say when he calls.. that we will talk saturday as I have to work.. or is that mean..? SHould I say I have to work but tell me how you feel... or just let him talk.. I am totally freaking out and wondering how I am ever going to get through the enxt couple of days.. all i want to do is sleep
Author bebegal Posted June 28, 2005 Author Posted June 28, 2005 ANY OTHERINPUT?? This week has been so hard for me. I really would love to hear other people's thoughts.
CurvyGurl Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 I wouldn't be there when he called. Let him squirm. If he does call, he'll probably be all gracious, like he's 'granted' you another turn at vying for his love. PLEASE. Release him. Good lard. To me, a guy that says 'I need a break from you for a week and then I'll call you and tell you where I stand'.... blah. Here's where *I* stand-- sit and spin!
Nomad Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 What was he doing during this week-long break? Seeing other girls? In my experience (from what I've seen & heard, anyway) when someone says they need a "break" they're getting tired of the person and/or relationship. People don't take breaks from things they're enjoying...and they also don't risk possibly screwing up something good.
Nicholas Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 Originally posted by CurvyGurl I wouldn't be there when he called. Exactly! You have to work. Turn off your phone and let him leave a message. In a few days, call him back and tell him whether you're even remotely interested in possibly entertaining the possibility of letting him try to win you back.
Author bebegal Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 thanks guys!!!!!!!! That is a little harsh but I will not be readily available.. but the idea was that we are going to talk again on friday to discuss where we stand. I do not want to appear flaky when I already agreed and plus I have to work. I have to answer the phone right..? plus--if someone breaks up with you..would you hope before they do that they took a break from you first....... If he had broken up with me that night.. I know I would have said to him back why dont you take a wk and think about things.. do you agree/disagree. I owe him something for taking the time to think things through carefully before jsut ending it. I do not think he is out partying he works 12 hour days 12 days in a row... but who knows..?
Nicholas Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 Originally posted by bebegal but the idea was that we are going to talk again on friday to discuss where we stand. That's his idea. He's the one who wasn't sure where he stands. If he decides he wants to stand by you, you could possibly afford him the oppurtunity to grovel for such a position when it's convenient for you. I have to answer the phone right..? You're busy. Your employer didn't tell you that they wanted a break from having you work for them. You owe your employer more than you owe this guy. It's not as if you're blowing him off. You're just not letting him dictate the terms of his own mistakes, especially when it inconveniences you--ya dig?
mutton Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 It's odd how you have only known your boyfriend for two months and he already needs a break. This guy seems to have some issues.
Author bebegal Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 lol..issues he sure does... I AM GOING TO MAKE HIM GROVEL!!!! i know..taking a break after 2 months..?? whatever
J dub Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 If you answer his phone call, it'll appear as if you were waiting around for him to come back. This would be a HUGE mistake because if he thinks youre going to wait, he'll just go out and have his fun (cake & eat it too scenario). But -- if you are strong, and dont answer the phone right away and keep yourself occupied otherwise...immediately he is going to think to himself "OMG Did I make a mistake? Has she decided she doesnt want me after all?" And you WANT him to miss you. He wont miss you at all if you make it too easy for him. Men appreciate things they have to work hard for -- ie, girls that are a little more of a challenge. If you force him in to "fix it mode" by being distant, he'll do whatever it takes to get you back to warm status. If he loves you, that is. If he doesnt, then he never did and probably never will, and better to know now then 3 yrs from now, right? So everything was flying smooth and then all the sudden he wanted to take a break? That's odd -- either he has resentment towards you about something and that day was the last straw, or he has another girl he wants to try to work it out with and if it doesnt work with her, he'll come back to you. Thats just my input of course, but I'll tell you what -- have your attenaes up when he tells you he wants you back...just keep your eyes peeled for signs that he'd do it again... Good luck, let us know what happens
Author bebegal Posted June 29, 2005 Author Posted June 29, 2005 I can not take another day of waiting. I am ready to move on, today. So I emailed him .. and told him that today is the day that either we move forward or I move on. I told him that I was concerned..angry that after 2 months he didn't feel that we could work things out together, I was hurt that he held it all in and then hit me with it all at once and that if he were to ever feel we need a break again, it will be a break up. If he had wanted space I would have given it to him.....If he wanted me to be more independent, I would have worked on that as well......I told him that (if you read my initial post it says all of the things he was angry about)--one thing he mentioned that night was that dating me is a gamble--- as he was not sure I would stick around. (he thinks I do not hold strong connections with people, I easily run from people, problems) ....... but in this sitation if I take him back I am taking a gamble as he just bailed on me out of nowhere... in the 2 months we have been together I have been faithful and by his side. I told him I value honesty and I told him from the beginning he had my heart--I do not give it up easily. The email whatever comes out of it.. is me saying that I will not allow the silent treatment to go on any further. I did not wine, assume ever in the letter that we were getting back. I said if I do not hear back from you today I have my answer. If you only knew how much I was suffering, trying to figure what he is thinking, I can NOT wait two more days. Its for my peace of mind, and if we are not going to get back together I want to move on. If he does not know by now, after a week,,,then he has his answer. what do you think of this???
d'Arthez Posted June 29, 2005 Posted June 29, 2005 I don't think the email was a wise thing to do. Especially as it showed, the things you did not want him to see. That you are highly dependent on him, and have too much time to spare for things like that, even though you had a deadline of this Friday. On the positive side, you showed a bit of spirit. Chances are high that the email will have influenced his decision in a negative way :(.
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