chumly Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 I am perhaps a bit more sensitive than others about certain character traits and one of them is someone showing signs of being shallow and superficial. in fact, I have very carefully crafted my online dating profile to try very hard to weed out people who think like this. However, I still seem to periodically attract those that think in this way. Anyway, I had a few conversations with a particular man now and he has said some things that have kind of raised a red flag to me and I kind of feel he is superficial and shallow based on what he has said but I would like others opinions on this. I will list them ... * I asked him what he thought of the ice skater Tanya Harding and he said the he could never date someone that looks like her. (he later recanted when I questioned him on it and said he did not like her for the things she did and not how she looked but I dont think that was how he meant it originally..i think he was just trying to save face with the explanation) * I asked him about his luck on the dating site and he said that alot of ladies have tried to message him but he did not think they were compatible because he did not like the way they looked. * he is quite a bit older than me and I asked if he dates ladies his own age and he said he prefers not to because he does not like to look at them since they dont take care of themselves. * he has asked me several times which of my pics looks the most like me in real life. On the other hand he talked about ladies he dated that did not look so good at first but their looks started to grow on him after awhile. I thought that was one of the few nice things he said regarding this matter. Anyway , I know it is not fair to prejudge people but these statements were very troubling to me. He asked if I would be willing to meet him and I was completely honest and told him that I thought he was shallow. He got defensive and said that just because he says shallow things does not mean he is truly a shallow person but that explanation does not make alot of sense to me. Anyway, based on what I have said here..do you think he sounds like he is shallow and superficial? would you be turned off by someone saying such things to you as well? any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 LOL. He sounds like your typical older douche bag who doesn't own a mirror and thinks he's entitled to date younger women. I find it comical how many of them look like train wrecks and still think they have what it takes to pull runway models. Don't waste your time on fools like this. 6
Author chumly Posted July 1, 2016 Author Posted July 1, 2016 LOL. He sounds like your typical older douche bag who doesn't own a mirror and thinks he's entitled to date younger women. I find it comical how many of them look like train wrecks and still think they have what it takes to pull runway models. Don't waste your time on fools like this. yes!! I agree!! and his pics in his profile are from 2010 and he says he looks the same...lol...6 years is a long time!! Thanks for the response on this. I am glad it is not just me..lol;) 1
Author chumly Posted July 1, 2016 Author Posted July 1, 2016 ..I would like to add that he does have some nice qualities but these statements that he have said are extremely troubling to me. of course if someone does not think this indicates that he is shallow I would be interested in hearing that side of it too. thanks in advance for the responses.
Toodaloo Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 Chumley is this another guy you haven't met yet? In answer to your question this guy is trying to work out if; a. he fancies you b. you are a catfish c. if he can be bothered Don't waste your time. Next him. This is way to much over thinking before you have even met. Sounds just... like too much flipping hassle when chances are that even if he fancies you he may meet you and not have that chemistry thing or whatever... Too much stress, taking it way too seriously and that man is shopping for a woman the way he would a car... you are not a ford. Date people who want to meet you. Talk to people who want to meet you... cut these ones loose. There really is not point stressing or trying to work it out. 1
Emilia Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 I think it not only speaks of how shallow he is but also of how much of an idiot he is. He still hasn't worked out how to sell himself to strangers? 2
Author chumly Posted July 1, 2016 Author Posted July 1, 2016 thanks for the added responses;) Toodaloo..i agree, yes, I am probably going to go on to the next Emilia...that is so funny...that is what I was thinking as well. It is so strange that at his age he does not realize how horrible he sounds!! Thanks:( 1
joseb Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 Have you even met him? I have no idea why anyone would bother keeping in touch with someone they hadn't even met if they already had issues with what he said. He sounds more dumb than shallow tbh. For most guys, whether or not they are any way interested in a profile is going to be decided by the pictures. If the pictures are good, they read the profile. OLD is shallow
hippychick3 Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 Don't spend too long chatting with someone before meeting up. Always trust your gut. And never trust anyone who puts up pictures from 6 years ago!
Hyperion227 Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 I don't understand what it is that you like about him?
Maggie888 Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 Not so much shallow and superficial as just very looks oriented. A person can value physical appearance and attraction but also be a deep person. The two arent mutually exclusive That being said it is clear looks are a priority to him. I domtknow if thats necessarily awful but ifyou arent feeling it then dont bother. He seems a little crude and selfish. And I suspect the convo would move towards sex rather quickly if he met you
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