LookAtThisPOst Posted July 2, 2016 Posted July 2, 2016 I'd flake then go NC. seriously. In every instance where the woman brought me around family and friends as a "first date" it was because they just didn't want to be alone with me in a date like situation. Believe it or not, there are some that use this as a dating style. The whole "get invited to a group of friends" setting apparently works for them. They want to see how well you fare in a group social setting. That said, do you see the logic in that, but I DO understand how it can be a turn off as well. It's like you're settling for any arrangement, but apparently, it's been known to work for some. I knew of a guy that apparently had a woman agree with him to go on a date, but apparently she was hanging with a married couple at a bar where a band was playing. She was sharing a table with the married couple, he shows up and has a seat next to her, but was completely turned off by the arrangement. He didn't express this to her, just bailed and never called her back. He wasn't expecting that either. He told me that he was turned off by it and I told her that as well, and apparently her stance was, "Well, if he's that controlling and uptight, then he's not worth knowing." Kind of makes you think that, well, maybe he should have asked her out again?
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 2, 2016 Posted July 2, 2016 I can't think of anything that would impress a woman who is a mother and clearly engaged in her child's life than showing interest in her daughter. Because, if you date this woman... The daughter is part of the package. Obviously, going to a child's gymnastic event is not anyone's idea of the best first date. And obviously, you would want to have an "adult date" with this woman soon... But, one way to get there may be to go and show some interest in her daughter. This could (for this woman) make quite an impression and help the OP get exactly what he wants for the next date. I'm not sure that I believe in the friendzone for a woman at this age. But, blowing her off, going to the gym, and going NC will not get you what you want. I think most women who are a little older and have children don't play these games. It's an afternoon of your time. What do you have to lose. Disagree...a FIRST date at a daughters gymnastics event? Too soon! Most parents would agree.
BaileyB Posted July 2, 2016 Posted July 2, 2016 Oh, I think it's an odd choice. It wouldn't be my first choice. But, it is what she requested. That's what makes me think that it could be considered. Personally, I would politely decline (conveniently busy), but make it clear that you are interested in getting to know her and asking if she is available for dinner.
jen1447 Posted July 2, 2016 Posted July 2, 2016 I'm a bit surprised at some of the panic here at the thought of him doing this. It's not like the world will end if it doesn't pan out. A fear-based dating mindset is never good, so ....deep breaths, people.
Author spicerp Posted July 5, 2016 Author Posted July 5, 2016 Wow, what a variety of replies. Thank you folks. In the end I politely declined to go.
MissBee Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 I can understand you not wanting to pursue anything further...it does seem like she considers you as just a friend...not much you can do there But why are you going to this event??? Seems like your a bit uncomfortable with it...I think its strange If I were you I wouldnt go Ditto. Seems like she thinks of you as just a friend. However, you're not obligated to take on that role and you don't have to attend the event. I wouldn't. I would say something came up and I have other plans.
MissBee Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 Not necessarily, she is asking you to see her daughter (positive). If she is asking another friend along? She may well want to get her friend's impression of you. This is weird. It is not a positive thing in my eyes when parents bring potential dates around their child very quickly before they even know them well. It's also weird to make your first date a date for a friend to check the person out...that is very middle school sounding, like when we could never call a boy alone and it ALWAYS by rule had to be on 3-way....then you grow up. In ordinary dating you introduce a person to your child after you establish something more stable with them, the first date is not watching your child at an event. That's bizarre. In ordinary dating, you feel the person out for yourself first, esp the very first date, then after a few dates you may invite them out with friends so that they can meet them and get a sense of them.
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