I need an outside perspective on my situation. Chime in your thoughts!

July 1, 2016

Hey everyone! This is my first thread. I've been browsing and figured this would be a good place to ask this question.

The simple question is, say you're interested in someone but you find out that they're still living with their parents and they are 24. Would that make you lose interest in them and not want to pursue dating them, even if everything else is there like physical attraction, chemistry, and getting along very well with their personality?

I have asked this before and I've gotten different responses. The main one being it depends on what they're doing with their life. If they are working or are going to college/university.

In my case, I am working full time and am going to be a junior going for my bachelors this upcoming fall. I already have completed my transfer associate's degree.

So in my case, being that I'm working FT and am studying at university, if you were talking/interested in someone that's going through what I'm going through in my life, would the fact that they're still living at home with their parents be a deal breaker for you?

I ask because I've been able to date off and on and no the whole living at home with my parents hasn't been an issue before but I feel like it is holding me back from meeting someone even better than the women I have gotten to date.

I really would appreciate some input from women (and men too from their vice versa perspective on whether if a girl they are interested in is still living at home, would they even consider dating her seriously? Considering she is working and going to university?)

-CLIFF NOTES OF THE THREAD-

-OP feels he living at home with parents at 24 hurts his dating potential

-OP wants to hear Loveshack members opinion on his situation

-OP is working full time and is going to university as a junior in the Fall and already has his associate's degree

-OP just wants to know exactly where he stands in the general public opinion on his situation and his dating potential

As a last note on this thread, I have lived on my own before a few times. Each time after the lease ended I moved back home to my parents rather than going straight to another place. Now that I'm back here, I feel antsy to move out again but I don't want to rush it. I'm considering moving out early into the Fall semester but not sure yet.

Any advice appreciated.

July 1, 2016

Not a deal breaker, for the right girl. You sound ambitious and have things going in right direction that's a major plus. The hard part is finding someone in the right age range/stage of life who can both understand you living at home (and be willing to deal with it) and appreciate your ambition. AND of course both be mutually attracted to each other. I think if you looked for someone similar in outlook. Like an ambitious girl, someone who was also investing further into her education, she would value what you were doing and understand some of the limitations. Ideally, one that had her own place so that you would have somewhere to hang out together OR it will just add unnecessary pressure. Also if you have a plan about moving out by a certain time frame, mention that up front. But no not a deal breaker.

July 1, 2016

Woman here

You're 24...you're working and going to school...its understable you'd be living at your parents hun

I dont think this hurts your dating potential at all esp if your dating women your age

Dont be so critical of yourself hun...I think you've already accomplished alot for your age considering you already have your associates

Get out there and stop worrying how others may or may not percieve you

Be confident hun!

July 1, 2016

I don't think it's hurting you. You're working and going to school. Women are understanding if they see you go somewhere. If you weren't working or going to school and just living in your parents house, that would be different. Women love seeing a man working towards something which is what you're doing. Good for you!!!

July 1, 2016

At 24 no it would not be a deal breaker.

You are working hard, have prospects and no expectation of staying at home long term...

Don't worry about it.

Also quit stressing over what a bunch of strangers on the internet think. We do not know you. You do so as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror that is all that counts.

July 1, 2016

Hey everyone! This is my first thread. I've been browsing and figured this would be a good place to ask this question.

The simple question is, say you're interested in someone but you find out that they're still living with their parents and they are 24. Would that make you lose interest in them and not want to pursue dating them, even if everything else is there like physical attraction, chemistry, and getting along very well with their personality?

I have asked this before and I've gotten different responses. The main one being it depends on what they're doing with their life. If they are working or are going to college/university.

In my case, I am working full time and am going to be a junior going for my bachelors this upcoming fall. I already have completed my transfer associate's degree.

So in my case, being that I'm working FT and am studying at university, if you were talking/interested in someone that's going through what I'm going through in my life, would the fact that they're still living at home with their parents be a deal breaker for you?

I ask because I've been able to date off and on and no the whole living at home with my parents hasn't been an issue before but I feel like it is holding me back from meeting someone even better than the women I have gotten to date.

I really would appreciate some input from women (and men too from their vice versa perspective on whether if a girl they are interested in is still living at home, would they even consider dating her seriously? Considering she is working and going to university?)

-CLIFF NOTES OF THE THREAD-
-OP feels he living at home with parents at 24 hurts his dating potential
-OP wants to hear Loveshack members opinion on his situation
-OP is working full time and is going to university as a junior in the Fall and already has his associate's degree
-OP just wants to know exactly where he stands in the general public opinion on his situation and his dating potential

As a last note on this thread, I have lived on my own before a few times. Each time after the lease ended I moved back home to my parents rather than going straight to another place. Now that I'm back here, I feel antsy to move out again but I don't want to rush it. I'm considering moving out early into the Fall semester but not sure yet.

Any advice appreciated.

I have lived on my own before a few times

I moved back home to my parents rather than going straight to another place

I feel antsy to move out

don't want to rush it

not sure yet

Given that you are in college, I'd say you'd date women who are also in college and maybe living at home, so I wouldn't say that's the issue. Even if the woman isn't living at home, if she were cognizant and understanding of that, it still wouldn't be an issue.

However, from what I'm reading here, there is a different problem that needs to be addressed. You have been flip-flopping between being home and being on your own a number of times. To me it seems that you may have some fear of being alone. It might be worth it to think about that and identify why that is, if that is the case.

Until you are comfortable being on your own and being alone, it would be difficult to have a relationship because you would also have to consider why you want a relationship at this point. In other words, if you aren't comfortable being alone, you may be seeking a relationship and jump into relationships easily for that fear. I'm not saying this IS the case, I'm just observing behavior you describe that fits that scenario.

For now, just date casually, enjoy the time spent with the women you date and don't think about developing a serious relationship with anyone until you are on your own for a while and stable in that. Be patient with yourself and focus on your education and your future as an independent secure man with a lot to offer in a relationship. Build your foundation first.

July 1, 2016

If your in your forties and still live with your parents that should be a deal breaker. But in your twenties no that's not a big deal especially if their are other factors like college debt.

July 1, 2016

Women won't go out with a guy who lives with his mom but they will go out with a guy who lives with his wife...haha...old joke.

You sound like you are headed in the right direction. The right woman for you will recognize that. good luck!

July 1, 2016

I am still living at home and I am 30. I also have two college degrees & work from home. I live at home to help my mother out. We treat each other like adults.

I think that's another sticking point. I don't care if someone lives at home, but I DO care if they have to constantly report to Mommy & Daddy about their whereabouts.

So OP, since you are living at home, what is the relationship like with your parents? That can make or break your dating life.

July 1, 2016

Thanks everyone! Your opinions and thoughts make me feel better.

I know alot of you guys mentioned that I shouldn't care what others think and what people on the internet say but you guys have to understand that dating is about how other's (generally of the opposite sex/gender if you're straight) see you, so I did want some feedback.

I'm glad to hear everyone say (so far) that it's alright since I'm progressing with my life.

July 1, 2016

I am still living at home and I am 30. I also have two college degrees & work from home. I live at home to help my mother out. We treat each other like adults.

I think that's another sticking point. I don't care if someone lives at home, but I DO care if they have to constantly report to Mommy & Daddy about their whereabouts.

So OP, since you are living at home, what is the relationship like with your parents? That can make or break your dating life.

My parents are very laissez-faire I don't have to report anything to them and they know I'm responsible. The only thing that irks them is when a girl sleeps over. After a few weeks (maybe a month or 2) I would introduce them to my parents anyways

July 1, 2016

My first serious BF lived with his parents until he was 26, then his parents shifted out. (he bought the house off them.)

Nothing wrong with living with your parents in your 20's, my 23yo lives with his dad.

July 1, 2016

I have lived on my own before a few times

I moved back home to my parents rather than going straight to another place

I feel antsy to move out

don't want to rush it

not sure yet

Given that you are in college, I'd say you'd date women who are also in college and maybe living at home, so I wouldn't say that's the issue. Even if the woman isn't living at home, if she were cognizant and understanding of that, it still wouldn't be an issue.

However, from what I'm reading here, there is a different problem that needs to be addressed. You have been flip-flopping between being home and being on your own a number of times. To me it seems that you may have some fear of being alone. It might be worth it to think about that and identify why that is, if that is the case.

Until you are comfortable being on your own and being alone, it would be difficult to have a relationship because you would also have to consider why you want a relationship at this point. In other words, if you aren't comfortable being alone, you may be seeking a relationship and jump into relationships easily for that fear. I'm not saying this IS the case, I'm just observing behavior you describe that fits that scenario.

For now, just date casually, enjoy the time spent with the women you date and don't think about developing a serious relationship with anyone until you are on your own for a while and stable in that. Be patient with yourself and focus on your education and your future as an independent secure man with a lot to offer in a relationship. Build your foundation first.

The truth is, it's not that I don't want to stay at home. I DEFINITELY wouldn't be here if I had more expendable income. But seeing as I make enough to get by, put some in savings, and make loan payments, it's best I'm at home until I either can work more hours beyond just 40 hrs a week or have a job that has great pay. The reasons I left came back and repeat was because each time (besides the second; that time I lived close to campus for 10 months aka fall/spring semester Aug-May) I thought I would realistically not have to move back in. I plan to build a foundation, thank you for the advice

July 1, 2016

My first serious BF lived with his parents until he was 26, then his parents shifted out. (he bought the house off them.)
Nothing wrong with living with your parents in your 20's, my 23yo lives with his dad.

It would be nice buying my parents home haha but I'm pretty sure they plan to stay here even after they retire. But I'm glad to hear having a BF that was living at home til even at 26 wasn't an issue with you

July 8, 2016

I don't think there is anything wrong with that! If a girl really likes you, she'll understand why you're living with your parents, and she'll respect it. Maybe date someone who is in a similar stage of her life? It tends to be easier dating someone who is also in college when you're in school because you can relate to each other and understand what each other is going through.

At the end of the day, you wouldn't want to date a girl who doesn't approve anyway. The right girl will understand!

Good luck with school!!

July 8, 2016

This post, and the answers, just show how times have changed.

First, I agree with the others, no if you're still living with your parents, but working and working on moving out, no, it's not a deal breaker.

That said, when I was in my early 20's, 30something years ago, it would have been a deal breaker. Back then, you were expected to be out and on your own by then. If I were a 24 year old man, still living with my mom back in 1982, I'd have been pretty much dateless till I moved out.

But that was then, this is now. So, now, no dealbreaker. Times have changed.

July 8, 2016

LOL, I think the only thing it hurts is his ability to bring someone home for some hanky-panky time.

But not being able to do that has gotta be a real downer, so I know where he's coming from.

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I need an outside perspective on my situation. Chime in your thoughts!

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