[HURT] - Unfortunate Secret

[Crowley0917]

Hey,

 

I was dating this girl (first girl I ever felt anything for after 5-7 women before her), and we hit it off like a house on fire. On our very first date, it was incredible, so comfortable, flirty and very sexual. We ended up going back to my place and we had sex (her virginity), and over the next 2 months we were absolutely obsessed with each other. After 2 months, she told me she loved me, and I said it back. She told me this shortly after she revealed a huge secret about her childhood (sexually/physically abused), and I played it down and tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible. ''I love you was exchanged,'' and I fell hard for this girl.

 

My best friends birthday was recently and I invited her along to meet us in the city (club venue). She met him, he tried his best to be nice to her, and made her laugh etc. (He is in love with another girl by the way.) The following morning, I woke up and she told me she wanted to break up? Biggest shock of my life. We made love the night before, and said we loved each other!

 

She told me it was 'panic' due to her childhood issues with trust etc and so I agreed to give her a 2nd chance. She was in my place just 2 hours ago, and while we both were lying on my bed, she logged into her Facebook on my laptop. She was talking to HER best friend about the night, and without trying to sound overly ''nosey'' I glanced over to see what she was saying.

 

My heart sank.

 

Her message - ''We went out to town and met up with (my name here) and his best friend, and I really like his friend! He's so attractive, and honestly no guy has made me laugh as much in my life, and he's so lovely and already I'm wishing I met him first!''

 

Now? I am broken, shattered, and don't know what to do.

 

Any help would be appreciated

[bummer]

That's a serious bummer.

 

At least you got it first?

 

Best to exit like a gentleman and just agree with her original desire to break up. You don't want to be the first guy to work through the childhood issues.

 

If you're the consummate adult you could tell your buddy she's interested. Then maybe you two could be Eskimo brothers.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's over.

 

I'm sorry OP, I know it stings.

 

But in the future, keep in mind that these whirlwind romances that ignite suddenly tend to die out quickly too. That "obsessed" feeling is usually fueled by hormones and lust, but isn't necessarily an indication that the relationship has staying power.

 

You know who she has her eye on. Unfortunately, it's not you.

[Miss Clavel]

man, what a bummer!! but, it's better to know now.

 

any women that gets nakie with you, says i love you and then starts blabbing about your bff, who has a girlfriend already, needs waayyyyyy more help then you can give her. and not just with her early childhood issues. she needs help with her main issues, lying stinking phony comes to mind.

 

how is it that you were first to get to third base with her and you're already in second place? behind your bff?

 

 

 

you will never ever ever be able to trust her, certainly not with your heart.

 

sorry.

[Crowley0917]

man, what a bummer!! but, it's better to know now.

 

any women that gets nakie with you, says i love you and then starts blabbing about your bff, who has a girlfriend already, needs waayyyyyy more help then you can give her. and not just with her early childhood issues. she needs help with her main issues, lying stinking phony comes to mind.

 

how is it that you were first to get to third base with her and you're already in second place? behind your bff?

 

you will never ever ever be able to trust her, certainly not with your heart.

 

sorry.

 

Are girls like this just subject to never settling, running on lust only? Thanks for the replies, I'm just deeply hurt.