hiroexplo Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) There is this one girl in my social circle who seemed to like me. We didn't know each other at all at first. I have checked her out a bit too in the past but we were both in relationship or there was other things going on. She got in touch about some stuff and invited me to some places but I wasn't in town. When I got the chance to hang out with her months later I realised I liked her too. And now I realised I like her a lot. At least for now. I've liked what I've learned so far and would like to get to know her more. We met at some parties but I didn't really isolate her and we didn't have dates until we went to a festival together and slept in the same tent. We didn't go to the festival exclusively as two persons, there were friends along but we ended up sleeping in the same tent as just the two of us for three nights. We ended up kissing, making out and cuddling. But didn't have sex there. (I know I know, one should move fast. But we were either tired or wasted or I got nervous and overthought this). After the festival in the evening we met at friends place and she was quite cold towards me. Or avoiding to talk to me too much. Then she agreed to come to watch a movie with me nevertheless the next day (that we had planned some time). We watched a movie and made out the entire night. She seemed more and more and in the end super into me. She said she is gonna go home at some point but in the end didn't even want to leave but stayed over until noon the next day. Didn't go into her morning gym thing and we just slept together. BUT and that's a big BUT – we didn't have sex. That was a bummer. Were naked but she didn't let me penetrate her. I was going for it for hours and she let her guard down more and more but was quite clear about it that it cannot happen (today?). Thinking back I should have maybe pushed more. She was almost giving in. She was so into kissing and eye glazing that it didn't seem she is playing or testing me in some way. Or that I wasn't dominant enough? I was too tender with her, to think back. So maybe she was just reciprocating that. After this night I now am even more into her. I'm afraid I should have pushed more and haven't been not all that dominant enough. And definitely have been very slow to move forward (until this week). It took a month to hang out and more from her initial contact. I'm wondering where to go from here? One red flag is, that I seem to be asking way more questions from her, than she from me. We randomly saw each other at one party now yesterday and she was not cold but not also very cheerful to see me. And she left quite soon without telling. After this we have exchanged a few text messages. Me initiating and her not really giving super warm answers but still replying. But she still likes some of my social media stuff and sends me some stuff I have asked a while ago etc. She knows she'll see me in both coming weekends. I'm thinking to back off though a bit and give her some space? The both of us were gonna go to one inner development retreat this weekend. I'm thinking to maybe skip that and back off a bit, to give her space. She was going and I said I was interested in that too, so she asked me along. But that was a while ago and now she hasn't really pushed me coming along. We still though haven't had sex with her and I know one should move fast with a girl. The only reason I'm maybe still sort of in the game, as we're in the same circle and I'm good looking and fun (or so they tell me). But I also put her to a pedestal, so I was too timid at certain points. We're definitely not gonna have sex there at the retreat, I'm sure I hope she is not really on auto-rejection yet, I guess not, otherwise she would not deal with me at all. If she disregarded me as a potential lover or boyfriend material then why did she want to kiss so passionately until wee hours. She literally didn't want to leave at all. (But she was mostly touching me from upper body.) Was she just enjoying me wanting her? Was that she thought it's the last and only time we're gonna be (sort of) intimate? Was it a test on how long or how many times I'm gonna try to escalate? Is there still hope to get her to bed and close the deal? Am I in friends zone? But you don't want to kiss your friends? It seems she liked me but I've done things to turn the heat down and now she has blocks. I was slow to realise I like her too. In some reason I didn't want to have sex before I really would see I like her more than sex, as she is on my social circle. Thinking back to it, maybe I should have thought the other way around. As now there's more pressure. I would totally like to spend more time with her. And it's not about physical only. She is smart and inspiring. I'm a bit confused though how to navigate this. Skip the weekend, give her space and wait for her to initiate contact? I think I should avoid this social circle a little bit (that's easy, I have things to do. And I have other circles.) I know attraction has an expiration date and I'm dangerously close there. Hope to turn this around though still as she is one of the most inspiring girls I've met after my last relationship ended two years ago. But when I read about auto rejection, is that I should actually spend more time with her. And this would be a good chance. I haven't really complimented her too much. I should do that. Edited June 30, 2016 by hiroexplo 1
smackie9 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 You got me at "we were naked but she wouldn't let me penetrate her".....you have no chance, so stop wasting your time. ***When a girl is really into you she will let you penetrate her....she would be all over it. You are her cuddle &^*%$ it's the kiss of death for any hope to have a relationship or have sex. 1
phineas Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 You got me at "we were naked but she wouldn't let me penetrate her".....you have no chance, so stop wasting your time. ***When a girl is really into you she will let you penetrate her....she would be all over it. You are her cuddle &^*%$ it's the kiss of death for any hope to have a relationship or have sex. So much this. I slept with a woman once. Next time I hung with her she wouldn't have sex. I tried once more and all i could get was some boob and knuckle deep and nothing in return. I left. she didn't seem to like that. Too bad. Inviting me over, into her bed then shutting me down? Every time she texts me to hang I tell her "sure, i'll be home all night" she never shows.
Recommended Posts