Looks Don't Guarantee Success

[LookAtThisPOst]

Most women actually care so much less about body fat % and muscles than men think. Just because men are obsessed with women's body doesn't mean that it's true in reverse.

 

Speak for yourself. Why is it I hear from men here say, "If you're struggling with women, hit the gym, get toned up, change your wardrobe, etc." Most every descriptor is "hit the gym" for whatever reason, so I would imagine it carries some weight.

 

I will tell you what most women IMHO find physically attractive: height, nice face (eyes, skin tone, jawline, teeth), largish general build without too much of a soft body (broad shoulders, small waist and hips).

 

Sounds like your speaking for yourself again as it's all subjective.

 

Most find small frame and/or womanly shaped bodies a turn off. Also, being skinny is usually not a good thing in a man.

 

Hitting the gym and diet, works wonders in this department. It'll turn a womanly shape (i.e. - man boobs into nice pects)

[GravityMan]

Of course there are certain physical and mental attributes that a greater percentage of people will find attractive (or unattractive). However, nothing guarantees "success". And very little guarantees "failure". While it's fine to speak in generalities (most people know not to interpret things too literally), you should be careful with words such as "guarantee", "always" and "never" when it comes to people, especially their emotions and feelings. Captain Obvious here...the simple reality is that everyone is attracted to, values, prefers and prioritizes different things. Jill might really like you just fine the way you are...your looks, personality, etc...but Jane might think you're repulsive, and Cindy might think you're about as interesting as a nondescript building alongside the road that she'll forget about 2 seconds later.

 

Outside of other bodybuilders and some professional male athletes/trainers, nobody really cares about your body fat %. Attempting to use that (or ripped muscles or whatever) as some sort of "selling point" is lame, vain and a sign of insecurity.

 

Sorry, but I wouldn't call this very good advice. You shouldn't practice being funny because that will only put pressure on you and can come off as awkward. You're either funny or you're not. If anything make a joke about something that's going on at that moment or something you see. I would say that stuff is more funny than memorized jokes anyway.

 

Generally agree with this. Humor tends to work best when it comes naturally and effortlessly. It's a major part of one's core personality; a big part of who you are. Most people's sense of humor will click well with a small group of people, work ok/decent with a larger group of others and resonate poorly with a smaller third group. It depends. Life experience, building self-confidence and learning general social awareness will also refine one's sense of humor...in the sense of being wiser about what's appropriate/tasteful and what's inappropriate (and also when, where and to whom).

 

And cracking jokes is only a small part of most people's overall sense of humor. Sharp & quick situational wit >>> canned jokes. The former is a good indicator that the person is perceptive, intelligent, able to be dynamic, capable of being "in the moment"/spontaneous and not overthink or be too deep inside his own head. And some of those things cannot be learned...they're innate.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Generally agree with this. Humor tends to work best when it comes naturally and effortlessly. It's a major part of one's core personality; a big part of who you are. Most people's sense of humor will click well with a small group of people, work ok/decent with a larger group of others and resonate poorly with a smaller third group. It depends. Life experience, building self-confidence and learning general social awareness will also refine one's sense of humor...in the sense of being wiser about what's appropriate/tasteful and what's inappropriate (and also when, where and to whom).

 

Funny, when it comes to humor, women think I'm funny. Some I've even made laugh when I was trying all that hard, coming naturally.

 

Women say they like a man that can make them laugh, that it's a turn ON, however, if you don't have the looks the go along with it...they'll invite you to parties, but don't expect a kiss good night.

[Imported]

Most women actually care so much less about body fat % and muscles than men think. Just because men are obsessed with women's body doesn't mean that it's true in reverse.

 

 

I will tell you what most women IMHO find physically attractive: height, nice face (eyes, skin tone, jawline, teeth), largish general build without too much of a soft body (broad shoulders, small waist and hips). Most find small frame and/or womanly shaped bodies a turn off. Also, being skinny is usually not a good thing in a man.

 

But if you give off "creepy vibe" - which can mean shy and socially awkward, they will be turned off regardless of looks.

 

There you have it. Women don't care about bodyfat %. Just be lean and muscular with a v-tapper. And of course women don't care about V-tapper, just have broad shoulders and a small mid-section. Women don't care if you're muscular, but don't be skinny and of course if you're lean, you're not fat so if you're lean and not skinny, that means you're muscular.....but women don't care about that.

 

Nah, I understand. Most guys go overboard.

[juniorrocha]

I have to admit, I think it's looks that keep people from breaking up and continue to stay in toxic relationships.

 

"Well, my g/f is hot and the sex is great, so why ruin a good thing? If I dump her, you know how hard it'll be for me to find another hot woman?!"

 

That's quite sad. You know, eventually beauty goes away.

 

Anyway, looks don't guarantee success, but it sure does help a lot when you have more people interested in you. Afterall, at first the only thing you can show are your looks anyway.

 

But you also have to work on your personality, career, interests. Else your looks are like (or almost like)... nothing. Self-confidence plays a big role here too.

[MGX]

Speak for yourself. Why is it I hear from men here say, "If you're struggling with women, hit the gym, get toned up, change your wardrobe, etc." Most every descriptor is "hit the gym" for whatever reason, so I would imagine it carries some weight.

 

 

 

Sounds like your speaking for yourself again as it's all subjective.

 

 

 

Hitting the gym and diet, works wonders in this department. It'll turn a womanly shape (i.e. - man boobs into nice pects)

 

One of the typical pieces of advice from women given to men having trouble with women is go to the gym.

 

Now dudes don't have to be He-Man RIPPED, but muscular and in shape. Maybe athletic to average. Skinny or fat seem to be extremes, just like Mr. Universe Ah-nuld ripped.

[bummer]

 

I looked those people up and no, I wouldn't say that I look like any of them, but they also look a lot older than I do. I've been told I look 16 or 17. Maybe that's a problem? Do women not like guys who look too young? Unfortunately due to my genetics, my beard is an epic failure. I also don't like having a lot of hair so I usually get a buzzcut. So I'd say that my typical look is "military recruit," haha.

 

I do crack jokes pretty often; hopefully they're not crappy though, haha. Humor is a science, people. I love to laugh and make other people laugh, but that's never helped me in the dating department. I'm not outgoing enough to take full advantage of it.

 

What I really need is some way to rewire certain aspects of my personality. I've been told that working out extremely hard and pushing your limits can achieve this; you get more aggressive and more energetic. I know someone who did this while doing college sports, and is now a much different person. This requires so much dedication though. Probably more than what 99% of the population has.

 

New haircut: outside military bases and army brats you'll find having some more hair will soften your features and attract other women.

 

Youthfulness: don't grow a peach fuzz goatee. Just ACT more mature. Good eye contact and body language can make you "older."

 

Humor: I'm not super attractive. Most of my relationships started because of my humour. Humour is an art. It should help a lot. You need to be less self conscious and just try and fail to learn what works. Fail a lot. Gravity man is correct. It should be instinctive and natural. Focus here by making it a science then craft the art. Fail a lot.

 

Work out hulk to transform into a butterfly: forget you even said this crap. Rewire your brain to focus even more on BMI, reps, and other gym rat nonsense? Seriously, try dating someone in your gym who shares these interests. Otherwise forget this Lazarus, metamorhosis crap and just be a normal dude with a VARIETY of interests. Read more, listen to more music. Go to concerts. Go to plays and comedy clubs. Cultivate other sides of your personality.

[Mannibalector]

Most women actually care so much less about body fat % and muscles than men think. Just because men are obsessed with women's body doesn't mean that it's true in reverse.

 

That's kinda the point I was trying to make in the first post. The reason I listed out some of my "stats," was simply to show that I'm in good shape (i.e. look good), but despite that most women don't care that I exist. For what it's worth, most men don't either. I think it all comes down to not being outgoing enough. I'd like to think I'm pretty likeable otherwise. I've never had anyone hate me.

 

Ok, so you look very young but how old are you and how old are the women you want to attract?

 

Like I said in my first post, I'm in my early 20s. I'm interested in women around the same age. I know other people who look even younger than I do but still do well with dating, so I don't think looking young is a detriment. Again, looks don't matter (that much)!

 

Personally I do not find 6% body fat attractive and do not care how much you can bench...what does that even mean?

 

http://cdn.builtlean.com/wp-content/...entage-men.jpg

 

You are correct if your social skills suck, then you are not going to attract women whatever you look like.

 

I actually look somewhere in between 10-12% and 15%. I'm not insanely ripped because I prefer to train for strength rather than definition. It's much more practical. I would post a picture but I was fairly certain that was against the rules.

 

Work out hulk to transform into a butterfly: forget you even said this crap. Rewire your brain to focus even more on BMI, reps, and other gym rat nonsense? Seriously, try dating someone in your gym who shares these interests. Otherwise forget this Lazarus, metamorhosis crap and just be a normal dude with a VARIETY of interests. Read more, listen to more music. Go to concerts. Go to plays and comedy clubs. Cultivate other sides of your personality.

 

I can see that you're assuming the gym consumes my entire life. I'm there for 1-2 hours every day except for rest days. That's not a very big chunk out of my life, and I haven't had to give up anything because of it. I actually have a lot of interests, but obviously nobody could've known that since I didn't post about it.

 

The brain rewire thing is something that a friend of mine did, and it worked for him. He used to be painfully shy with very few friends, and after his training he was...well, the opposite, haha. You apparently don't even have to keep up the intense training. Once you reach the rewiring point, it sticks permanently. From there you can back off and train more casually. I don't know if I can do that, but I do kind of want to try because I'm not satisfied with my personality right now; it affects me negatively in several ways, not just in dating.

[normal person]

Read more, listen to more music. Go to concerts. Go to plays and comedy clubs. Cultivate other sides of your personality.

 

Not bad advice necessarily but I would suggest doing things in which you're an active participant, not just things where you watch other people do things.

 

Listening to music, going to concerts, plays, and comedy clubs aren't personality traits. They're escapism. You should create, engage, and participate -- don't just watch other people create, engage, and participate.

[Recon33]

But if you give off "creepy vibe" - which can mean shy and socially awkward, they will be turned off regardless of looks.

 

Why do women view shyness and social awkwardness as creepy? I can understand fine if they don't find these traits attractive, but it's not like there's anything inherently wrong with them.

[normal person]

Why do women view shyness and social awkwardness as creepy? I can understand fine if they don't find these traits attractive, but it's not like there's anything inherently wrong with them.

 

Isn't there, though? Attraction is rooted in biology. If you believe in evolution (not so much a theory as it is basically a fact at this point) and think of humans as animals capable of complex thought, then it makes a lot of sense. Just my thoughts:

 

If the main goal of life on Earth is to survive, reproduce, make sure your offspring survive and reproduce, and hopefully do it all in comfort, then a shy or socially awkward male seems less likely to be able to help a female do these things. An assertive, confident, gregarious male projects the feeling that he can and will do what's necessary and can get others on his side as well, increasing his chance of survival. Who do you think is more likely to survive and reproduce? The guy with confidence, who people are drawn to and willing to rally behind and help, or the grown man who is literally afraid of interacting with other people, who no one likes?

 

Consider the things people say about and names people call shy, socially awkward people, men especially. Lots of times, it isn't nice. Why? They seem less likely to reproduce, subconsciously come off as an unnecessary strain on resources, and provide nothing of value to the group. Have you ever seen a nature documentary where a mother abandons or doesn't accept one of her young because it's the runt, weak, can't keep up, has been injured, etc? It's the same principle. The weak one who is noticeably incapable of keeping pace with the rest of the pack provides no hope for the future and will only hinder the pack's chance of survival in the present. All they do is slow the pack down and consume their food and resources. Better the mother focus her time and energy on the ones that will survive and reproduce.

 

Now extrapolate the same principles to human beings. If you're shy, awkward, can't keep pace, you're labeling yourself the "runt." You're non-verbally announcing that you're reliant on other people to take action for you because you're incapable of doing it yourself. If you're shy and awkward, you'll likely defer to someone else to introduce themselves to you rather than doing it yourself, and expect them to guide the conversation, etc. You're making them expend energy and effort, and take time away from more their "beneficial" relationships for your benefit. So you desire everyone's attention and affection, but you're not necessarily willing or capable to do anything for it (like say, make their lives interesting, make them safer, provide them with whatever those people want out of interpersonal relationships). You're just diverting attention and resources away from the group ("the pack") but you're still unlikely to reproduce yourself, so you're a liability, detrimental dead weight, and people will often dislike you for it.

 

That, in my mind, is why people dislike shy/socially awkward types. So yes, in a way, you can make an argument that there is something "wrong" with it.

Edited July 7, 2016 by normal person

[Hyperion227]

Yes normal person Evolution by Natural Selection is a scientific fact. but your endlessly reductive way of assessing complex human behaviour through the lens of evolutionary psychology won't get you very far. It's extremely easy to apply evolutionary logic to any human behaviour, but a hundred years of detailed anthropological research shows us that what is true in Western cultures is very rarely applicable to many, if any, cultures around the world. Also, you can apply perfectly plausible arguments to people being attractive to the exact opposite of what is conventionally considered attractive. Women are generally attracted to shorter men because they require less resources to maintain their own body and therefore will be able to give more to their children. women are more likely to be attracted to socially awkward men because they will face less competition from other women and have more of a guarantee to have a lifelong partner. It's easy and basically unprovable in a scientific sense. Like all of evolutionary theory, there is endless evidence which proves it but it's almost impossible to reverse the process and say Evolution proves this is why A is as it is or B tends to do that. You can be pretty certain in basic anatomical and immunological cases of a direct link but never in what are extremely complex social and psychological cases.

[bummer]

Why do women view shyness and social awkwardness as creepy? I can understand fine if they don't find these traits attractive, but it's not like there's anything inherently wrong with them.

 

Shy and awkward are creepy because they pair well with defensive, evasive, untrustworthy, and insecure. Further still the connotation is anti-social, loner, and poorly adjusted. Is he hiding something inherently wrong? Or is he just insecure?

 

Modern culture propagates and supports these stereotypes. Besides ol Charlie Manson and other exceptions, serial killers and rapists are often depicted with certain social ineptitudes. Outcasts and runts who are picked on and turn "evil" because they remain outside social norms.

 

A "typical" social girl will find shy and awkward a turn off at best and creepy at worst. Luckily there are many personalities and some girls out there who LIKE shy and awkward and may not be so themselves.

[bummer]

'Women are generally attracted to shorter men because they require less resources to maintain their own body and therefore will be able to give more to their children.'

 

Interesting. Mammals and primates are female nurturer dependent and the males rarely are involved in child care across species. Girls have the boobies. Most evidence points to females picking the best possible mate for the success of the offspring (bigger stronger faster AND better nurturer...)

 

'women are more likely to be attracted to socially awkward men because they will face less competition from other women and have more of a guarantee to have a lifelong partner. '

 

This is super cool. In monogamous species other than humans I am curious if this is true. There is a link to beta males and evolutionary success. But not shy and awkward necessarily. These can skill be seen as weaknesses to a woman who wants a dependable man who can defend and nurture appropriately. Why women prefer weaker men - Telegraph

 

Anyways, I think human attraction largely is finding someone like your father or mother (or influential adult) as we subconsciously gravitate to what we know. Sure others will disagree.

[Hyperion227]

'Women are generally attracted to shorter men because they require less resources to maintain their own body and therefore will be able to give more to their children.'

 

Interesting. Mammals and primates are female nurturer dependent and the males rarely are involved in child care across species. Girls have the boobies. Most evidence points to females picking the best possible mate for the success of the offspring (bigger stronger faster AND better nurturer...)

 

'women are more likely to be attracted to socially awkward men because they will face less competition from other women and have more of a guarantee to have a lifelong partner. '

 

This is super cool. In monogamous species other than humans I am curious if this is true. There is a link to beta males and evolutionary success. But not shy and awkward necessarily. These can skill be seen as weaknesses to a woman who wants a dependable man who can defend and nurture appropriately. Why women prefer weaker men - Telegraph

 

Anyways, I think human attraction largely is finding someone like your father or mother (or influential adult) as we subconsciously gravitate to what we know. Sure others will disagree.

 

I'm not saying it's true or not. Just that you can construct plausible explanations for contradictory positions in sexual selection in humans.

[normal person]

You can be pretty certain in basic anatomical and immunological cases of a direct link but never in what are extremely complex social and psychological cases.

 

You're not wrong. Of course, I never said I was writing a dissertation, but as I said, to me it seems like the most plausible, albeit reductive, explanation based on a lifetime of observation, experience, and general societal sentiment, that could be given on an informal website where people regularly use emojis. Other people are free to agree or disagree with me, I'd be very curious to hear other peoples' opinions on it.

 

This is super cool. In monogamous species other than humans I am curious if this is true. There is a link to beta males and evolutionary success. But not shy and awkward necessarily. These can skill be seen as weaknesses to a woman who wants a dependable man who can defend and nurture appropriately. Why women prefer weaker men - Telegraph

 

Interesting, I've seen things like this before. Also consider female affinity for things like "dad bod," which is essentially a preference for men who aren't muscular or shredded so, amongst other things, that these women don't feel bad or insecure about themselves. Not to mention women who won't go out with men if they're too good looking because they want to be "the good looking one." I also remember a discussion I heard long ago about a friend's family members, who were an engaged couple (yes, I know this is all anec dotal). The woman was putting on a lot of weight and someone suggested the man was subtly encouraging it so that "no one else would want her." It seemed ludicrous to me at the time, my thought process being "if she's that unappealing, why would he even want her?"

 

I can't comprehend the desires of people who are so quick to compromise, if you can call it that. So all this appreciation of "beta" characteristics certainly serves an evolutionary purpose for a lot of people, but personally, I can't wrap my head around the tribute to mediocrity. I could advise the poster on how to navigate the water in search of women who desire the more "conventional" desirable traits but I have no idea what to tell someone in order to appeal to a woman who actually prefers commonness, shyness, and/or awkwardness.

[S_A]

Not sure about my face; as a straight guy I couldn't tell you what a good-looking male face looks like

 

HAHA! I'm a hetero male and I can tell you what a good-looking guy's face looks like. Does that mean I want to have sex with the guy? No. I think the Lamborghini Aventador SV is the sexiest car on the planet. I promise you that I do not want to have sex with a car or stick my penis up its exhaust pipe.

 

You can be as strong as you want, but you will always appear "weak" if you're afraid of being labeled as un-masculine.

[MightyPen]

I was going to say something similar to SA's comment.

 

Men know what a classically good looking guy looks like - come on! We do! It's not "gay" to recognize that fact. The fact that you went out of your way to say that implies, to me, that maybe you don't have a great face. If that's the case, just do the best you can (cool haircut, good teeth, etc) and focus on your strengths.

 

That being said, sometimes my wife will surprise me with who she considers "good looking" on a TV or movie. I'm like, "Really?"

[elaine567]

I also remember a discussion I heard long ago about a friend's family members, who were an engaged couple (yes, I know this is all anecdotal). The woman was putting on a lot of weight and someone suggested the man was subtly encouraging it so that "no one else would want her." It seemed ludicrous to me at the time, my thought process being "if she's that unappealing, why would he even want her?"

 

Not that uncommon, fat woman loses a lot of weight and then becomes attractive to other men, man cannot cope, so dumps woman. He preferred her fat, as she was his and his alone, he didn't have to compete with anyone for her attention.

People like to be comfortable with the person they are with, if a person is too good looking, then it causes their partner to become anxious in case they cannot keep them interested. Long term, few want to be constantly on edge and having to "guard" their partner from unwanted attention.

 

Better the guy with the "Dad bod" playing with his kids at home, kids he adores, than the gym rat out at the gym 7 nights a week, being ogled by and ogling, young hotties in skimpy outfits.

 

Looks aren't everything.

[Recon33]

Isn't there, though? Attraction is rooted in biology. If you believe in evolution (not so much a theory as it is basically a fact at this point) and think of humans as animals capable of complex thought, then it makes a lot of sense. Just my thoughts:

 

If the main goal of life on Earth is to survive, reproduce, make sure your offspring survive and reproduce, and hopefully do it all in comfort, then a shy or socially awkward male seems less likely to be able to help a female do these things. An assertive, confident, gregarious male projects the feeling that he can and will do what's necessary and can get others on his side as well, increasing his chance of survival. Who do you think is more likely to survive and reproduce? The guy with confidence, who people are drawn to and willing to rally behind and help, or the grown man who is literally afraid of interacting with other people, who no one likes?

 

Consider the things people say about and names people call shy, socially awkward people, men especially. Lots of times, it isn't nice. Why? They seem less likely to reproduce, subconsciously come off as an unnecessary strain on resources, and provide nothing of value to the group. Have you ever seen a nature documentary where a mother abandons or doesn't accept one of her young because it's the runt, weak, can't keep up, has been injured, etc? It's the same principle. The weak one who is noticeably incapable of keeping pace with the rest of the pack provides no hope for the future and will only hinder the pack's chance of survival in the present. All they do is slow the pack down and consume their food and resources. Better the mother focus her time and energy on the ones that will survive and reproduce.

 

Now extrapolate the same principles to human beings. If you're shy, awkward, can't keep pace, you're labeling yourself the "runt." You're non-verbally announcing that you're reliant on other people to take action for you because you're incapable of doing it yourself. If you're shy and awkward, you'll likely defer to someone else to introduce themselves to you rather than doing it yourself, and expect them to guide the conversation, etc. You're making them expend energy and effort, and take time away from more their "beneficial" relationships for your benefit. So you desire everyone's attention and affection, but you're not necessarily willing or capable to do anything for it (like say, make their lives interesting, make them safer, provide them with whatever those people want out of interpersonal relationships). You're just diverting attention and resources away from the group ("the pack") but you're still unlikely to reproduce yourself, so you're a liability, detrimental dead weight, and people will often dislike you for it.

 

That, in my mind, is why people dislike shy/socially awkward types. So yes, in a way, you can make an argument that there is something "wrong" with it.

 

I think you're making assumptions here. Just because someone is shy or awkward doesn't necessarily mean they can't carry their own. If anything, people like that are more independent because of it and learn to rely on themselves more than anything. They're still perfectly capable of contributing to society. You explained what I already agree with (why people don't find shyness/awkwardness attractive), but that still doesn't mean there's anything bad about it. What are these people doing that is damaging to the world with their shyness? Causing an inconvenience to those that must deal with them? No one is being forced to look after them especially in more selfish first world countries like the U.S..

 

Shy and awkward are creepy because they pair well with defensive, evasive, untrustworthy, and insecure. Further still the connotation is anti-social, loner, and poorly adjusted. Is he hiding something inherently wrong? Or is he just insecure? Modern culture propagates and supports these stereotypes.

 

Again, these are assumptions being made. You said so yourself. They're stereotypes. I used to be super awkward when I was younger, but the people that knew me best would say I was one of the most loyal and sincere people they knew.

Edited July 7, 2016 by Recon33

[normal person]

I think you're making assumptions here. Just because someone is shy or awkward doesn't necessarily mean they can't carry their own. If anything, people like that are more independent because of it and learn to rely on themselves more than anything. They're still perfectly capable of contributing to society.

 

I agree, personally. And yes, as I said, I am making assumptions -- none of this has been proven. Few are going to question someone's merit in a professional realm just because they're shy (unless they're in something like sales). However, we're talking about more of a social realm, and I'm playing devil's advocate. I think to most people, shyness and awkwardness tend to impute weakness and an inability to join a group. But like I said, it won't be assumed that because you're shy, you're bad at your job, or even bad at providing, but it is a red flag of some kind.

 

You explained what I already agree with (why people don't find shyness/awkwardness attractive), but that still doesn't mean there's anything bad about it. What are these people doing that is damaging to the world with their shyness? Causing an inconvenience to those that must deal with them? No one is being forced to look after them especially in more selfish first world countries like the U.S..

 

The word "bad" is subjective. In the sense that the guy was wondering what was "wrong" with or "unattractive" about being shy and awkward: He wants womens' attention and affection, and shyness and awkwardness is often a deterrent to that. In that sense, it's bad for him.

 

Again, these are assumptions being made. You said so yourself. They're stereotypes. I used to be super awkward when I was younger, but the people that knew me best would say I was one of the most loyal and sincere people they knew.

 

Well, that's great. No doubt you're a great guy. But people who didn't know you best didn't think that, did they? They had a different impression because they never saw the sincere, loyal, side of you, they could only make assumptions based on what they saw.

[carhill]

A shy/awkward good looking person will have more success socially and in life in general because their looks trumps their shyness/awkwardness, if compared to someone who isn't good looking. However, their looks alone won't guarantee them anything; their shyness/awkwardness has play after first impressions of their appearance are out of the way.

 

The good looking shy/awkward person will get more encounters of the personal sort so more opportunities to meet someone, or a group of people, who are accepting of or attracted to their shy and awkward nature.

 

Whenever discussing this type of topic, a vivid memory of a particular trip came to mind, I think one where I went to Singapore from the east coast and back then home to Cali and, on a short leg to BOS (Boston) I ended up on the same hotel shuttle as our flight crew and met the two pilots. The co-pilot (three striper) was exceptionally good-looking but our encounters on the shuttle and later in the bar showed his equally exceptional awkwardness, even with me, the king of easy to talk to. However, his looks and pilot's uniform went far in people, yeah, including women, stopping by 'to talk'. To him That's how good - looking works in real life IME, for both men and women. It is what it is.

[Recon33]

Ok, I think you guys answered my question. When girls say awkward and shy guys are creepy they're just prejudging someone they know nothing about. I guess you could call it instinct, but it's silly to place a negative attribute on someone you barely know. Anyways, I don't want to thread jack.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Ok, I think you guys answered my question. When girls say awkward and shy guys are creepy they're just prejudging someone they know nothing about. I guess you could call it instinct, but it's silly to place a negative attribute on someone you barely know. Anyways, I don't want to thread jack.

 

To be fair, good looking guys with high confidence and social skills can be creepy too.

 

The guy I remember who was labeled creepy most was a guy who almost every woman thought was good looking and hot. He would also hit on much younger women and try and hang out with all the good looking women.

 

Skeezy is the word.

 

Of course, the difference is he had more than his share of women.

[matt1221]

I cant tell you how many girls stare at me when I'm out, but I have little to no game.. looks only take you so far. I can hardly keep a conversation going longer than 2 minutes.