Asking ex girlfriend to try again. Good or bad???

[justmellow]

I haven't truly made my mind up yet. But after a year now since we broke up. I realised a lot, all the resentment and anger is gone between the both of us. We talk as good friends do but not often, we reminise alot and talk bout what we"ve been up to recently and people we talked to and stuff.

 

This was my first relationship and I don't know if this is how the after math is. We were very close and talked all the time, best of friends, saw each other in school everyday for 2 years and I'll be lying if I said it wasn't the best 2 years of my life. Hers as well.

 

She broke up with me. I didn't take it very well and I believe that's the reason things got bad with us. Things were getting a lot more serious between us and I don't think she was ready for that. I don't think I was either. We were together for almost three years.

 

She initiated contact with me and we"be been talking on and off ever since. Never talked about getting back together just talking how things were, I don't know about everything cause she's been saying things like how she wished we could back to those times and how we were really close and all that. .

 

I'm asking if its a good idea for me to ask her to try again. She says she thinks about me a lot, I think about her as well and I do miss her. I want to ask her if we could try again.

 

I don't think we may be able to go out if we could I would have approached the convo in this way. So I don't know if to send her a voice mail or call her and talk to her.

 

So guys how to approach this situation.

Edited June 30, 2016 by justmellow
Editing

[bummer]

I don't think we may be able to go out if we could I would have approached the convo in this way. So I don't know if to send her a voice mail or call her and talk to her.

 

So guys how to approach this situation.

 

first. First relationship? Let it go.

 

Second. You only have a text based friendship now? You need to have real face to face time before you try to Casanova style win her back! You're in for a world of hurt.

 

I'll start the hammer blows: she's probably texting you out of comfort, boredom, and guilt. In some combination. Of course she misses the good ol days. Me too. So do the old guys at the bar. Everyone says they miss the old days! It means nothing. Breadcrumbs.

 

You're in for a world of hurt. If she doesn't initiate the reconciliation, you'll lose big time.

[MissBee]

I agree with bummer.

 

Especially if she broke it off with you, let her initiate a reconciliation.

 

If all of this is through text, sometimes people reminisce and text out of boredom, wanting attention, someone to talk to who is familiar etc...and it doesn't necessarily translate into anything substantive outside of that.

 

Your first relationship can be very impactful, but most people go on to have other and better ones, so I wouldn't get caught up with trying again personally. If she brings it up, sure, but don't initiate yourself if she dumped you.

[justmellow]

Thank you both. I just keep running this through my head because of how she talks. Like hinting me sometimes. Im not sure if shes waiting for me to say something thats what makes me more cobfused.

 

She also keeps making convo with me. One side wants me to say something to her and the other side doesnt. Its a mess in my head .

[bummer]

You should block her number and go NC and you won't be distracted. Avoidance trumps resistance.

 

If her words aren't explicitly saying "I want another chance, take me back, I'm sorry" then ignore it. They are what we call breadcrumbs. Enough to keep you standing there hungry, but not enough to be satisfied.

 

Write us first if you feel like answering her texts.

[MissBee]

Thank you both. I just keep running this through my head because of how she talks. Like hinting me sometimes. Im not sure if shes waiting for me to say something thats what makes me more cobfused.

 

She also keeps making convo with me. One side wants me to say something to her and the other side doesnt. Its a mess in my head .

 

A lesson I've learned is especially with regards to what someone wants from you, don't take hints. If you are confused and guessing, ignore it and take it as a no until they make themselves clear.

 

If she wants to reconcile and hints aren't working, she'll eventually spell it out frankly. If she doesn't, don't read into it or assume anything. At this point though, considering that you stil have feelings for her, I don't think this continued texting and pseudo-friendship is that helpful.