Author confusedone19 Posted March 6, 2017 Author Posted March 6, 2017 The thing is he has been on my case since i gave him that letter shouting and screaming as to why im ignoring him and not wanting to talk to him. He came next to me yesterday to ask again why i wouldnt be nice to him (yes the nerve of it) I said can you not see what you have done it was after that he blocked me.
Zahara Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 All irrelevant. This is the guy that cheated on you numerous times? What is the point in all of this? What are you looking to get from him? You came on LS mid last year about this fool and nearly a year later you're sending him a letter which I guarantee you he DID NOT read. If someone cheats on you numerous times, they don't give craps about what you think. Stop looking for some sort of something from him. Shut him out and move on. 1
CollegeKid101 Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 The thing is he has been on my case since i gave him that letter shouting and screaming as to why im ignoring him and not wanting to talk to him. He came next to me yesterday to ask again why i wouldnt be nice to him (yes the nerve of it) I said can you not see what you have done it was after that he blocked me. Get a restraining order against this guy, he's not mentally there. I know the pain sucks, trust me, I know. The sooner you cut this guy out completely, the sooner you will feel better and you again. Block him.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 Honestly, those types of letters almost never have the desired effect. Either the dumper doesn't read them, reads only part of it, or reads it and shrugs their shoulders and continues on their day. I'm not sure what you were hoping to get from him after sending the letter, but it sounds like it's for the best that you are now blocked. You need to let it go, do your healing, and move on. 1
stillafool Posted March 6, 2017 Posted March 6, 2017 I'll be honest, I've had someone in my past send long letters saying I don't know what (because I didn't read them). When it's over the dumper doesn't want to continue going over the past because frankly, it's boring. At the time I didn't have the option of blocking the letters because they came by mail; but they quickly hit the trashcan. Leave this guy alone. How much worse does he have to treat you before you get a clue?
Author confusedone19 Posted March 15, 2017 Author Posted March 15, 2017 So for the past week he has been waiting for me calling me. Crying begging saying how he made a big mistake wants me back. He know he hurt me too much this time etc etc. I told him no everytime he rang or approached me I said i would never take him back not this time and to just leave me alone. He has now lost his jobs his family arent talking to him he is due in court as got caught drink driving and now for the past two days I feel so sorry for him. I last spoke to him on Monday he was waiting for me outside my house, he begged me again I said no. He said meet me tomm I want to talk to you explain please. I was like there is no point he was like i dont care i am coming to see you Since then i havent heard he didnt come yesterday. I know i should be grateful as I need to move on but part of me is sad that i havent heard from him since Monday....
Zahara Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 So for the past week he has been waiting for me calling me. Crying begging saying how he made a big mistake wants me back. He know he hurt me too much this time etc etc. I told him no everytime he rang or approached me I said i would never take him back not this time and to just leave me alone. He has now lost his jobs his family arent talking to him he is due in court as got caught drink driving and now for the past two days I feel so sorry for him. I last spoke to him on Monday he was waiting for me outside my house, he begged me again I said no. He said meet me tomm I want to talk to you explain please. I was like there is no point he was like i dont care i am coming to see you Since then i havent heard he didnt come yesterday. I know i should be grateful as I need to move on but part of me is sad that i havent heard from him since Monday.... It's absolutely astonishing that a man who has disrespected you numerous times still has the ability to maintain contact with you. A woman with a decent amount of self-respect would have blocked and cut him out a long time ago. But here you are, still sad for him and still pining. You need to seek counselling. While he may have his issues, your insistence to stay available and accessible to someone like him is indicative of how little value you see in yourself. Dysfunction on your part as well. It takes work to rebuild your self-worth -- allowing this clown to still play a part in your life is only enforcing your downfall. And he's only coming around because you're easy to use. I hate to be harsh but you seem completely blinded by the fact that this man, from day one has only utilized you as a benefit and now that his life is in shambles, he's hoping to get a piggyback ride. Stop feeling sorry for him. Find compassion and loving care for yourself. You seem to have none for you. 1
Author confusedone19 Posted March 15, 2017 Author Posted March 15, 2017 It's absolutely astonishing that a man who has disrespected you numerous times still has the ability to maintain contact with you. A woman with a decent amount of self-respect would have blocked and cut him out a long time ago. But here you are, still sad for him and still pining. You need to seek counselling. While he may have his issues, your insistence to stay available and accessible to someone like him is indicative of how little value you see in yourself. Dysfunction on your part as well. It takes work to rebuild your self-worth -- allowing this clown to still play a part in your life is only enforcing your downfall. And he's only coming around because you're easy to use. I hate to be harsh but you seem completely blinded by the fact that this man, from day one has only utilized you as a benefit and now that his life is in shambles, he's hoping to get a piggyback ride. Stop feeling sorry for him. Find compassion and loving care for yourself. You seem to have none for you. Thanks Zahara I know your right, I have been contemplating going to my GP but Im not sure what I say or ask for? dont really want to get into it with the GP so what do I say that I need councelling how does it work I dont even know..
Zahara Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 (edited) Thanks Zahara I know your right, I have been contemplating going to my GP but Im not sure what I say or ask for? dont really want to get into it with the GP so what do I say that I need councelling how does it work I dont even know.. First steps: 1. Block him from your phone and from any other avenue that you know he may try to use to get access to you. 2. Delete his number 3. Block his email address You kept saying "I know you're right" way back when you started this thread last year but you're still in the same boat today. You have to be proactive and WANTING to make changes in your life. You keep noting "update" -- there is no update. It's the same story over and over again. You're just recycling dysfunction. I don't know how your insurance works but some employers offer EAP services. You can start there. Check with your HR. You can speak to your GP and ask her/him for recommendations/referrals. Tell your GP that you've been struggling emotionally with a difficult situation and that you're also hoping to find a therapist that can help with your self-development. Personally, just go online and search for professional/therapist practices in your area and start making some calls. The thing with finding a good therapist is that it may take you some time to find one that fits. But all worth it. All this is moot though if you CHOOSE to continue to stay accessible to him. 5 years of cheating and you continuing to still engage him even after all of that -- when do you make the decision to prioritize your life? You're 35 years old. Stop wasting your years on nothing. Edited March 15, 2017 by Zahara
Author confusedone19 Posted March 27, 2017 Author Posted March 27, 2017 So its been over a month since I left him and I have remained strong and not text or contacted or even gone anywhere near were he is. He owes me alot of money that he has to pay me back (I'm talking more the £6000) I have been in communication with his parents regarding this. His mum called me on Friday and said that he needed to talk to me about the money he owes me and if i would meet him. I said i would but as long as they were also there. He basically starts begging me to forgive him that he so loves me and made a huge mistake. I was adamant that the answer is no and the only reason I came was to sort out the money. He said i had two choices 1. I marry him and he pays me back 2. I say no and wont get a penny and he will ensure I never move on I just couldnt believe the audacity of him he genuinely thinks he can just come back and marry me like really?? i just dont understand whats with the threats of not paying me? I cant just write this off its too much money...
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