Marshbear Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 I have a friend who is 48 years old. She look good for her age but as far as her exceptions of a man are concerned she still feels like she should get a man out of GQ magazine. My question is this. Do you think she is being realistic in her expect ions or is she out of touch with reality? Do women of this age generally agree with her wants or is she an exception? I might say she is immature for her age. Comments welcome....
alphamale Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 i think she's been watching too much desperate housewifes and sex in the city but seriously, MB....I have seen a few women in their late 40s and early 50s who are in excellent shape and still look quite attractive that get hit on by men of all ages. they are the exception and not the rule, however. but....the fact is that the rich GQ dudes probably won't want much to do with the 48 yr old woman even if she is exceptional for her age. these guys are too busy banging 25 year old model types who like cocaine and overnight trips to Monaco.
Author Marshbear Posted June 27, 2005 Author Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale i think she's been watching too much desperate housewifes and sex in the city but seriously, MB....I have seen a few women in their late 40s and early 50s who are in excellent shape and still look quite attractive that get hit on by men of all ages. they are the exception and not the rule, however. but....the fact is that the rich GQ dudes probably won't want much to do with the 48 yr old woman even if she is exceptional for her age. these guys are too busy banging 25 year old model types who like cocaine and overnight trips to Monaco. I agree Alpha. I tell her she is unrealistic but she thinks she has a right to be picky and sees nothing wrong with her opinions. The desperate housewives is a good analogy of her. I think she will turn old with no one but it is her life to do as she pleases. I think she is missing out but she thinks she deserves what she wants and is not going to settle.
jellybean Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Hi Marshbear.... This is indeed very unusual thinking for a woman who is in her 40's.
alphamale Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear I agree Alpha. I tell her she is unrealistic but she thinks she has a right to be picky and sees nothing wrong with her opinions. The desperate housewives is a good analogy of her. I think she will turn old with no one but it is her life to do as she pleases. I think she is missing out but she thinks she deserves what she wants and is not going to settle. ....see MARSHBEAR....this is what happens when one puts all their eggs in one basket. this woman probably had men hanging all over her when she was younger and could take her "pick of the litter" now she is older and cannot take her pick anymore. she invested to heaviliy in her looks and now they are not working their magical powers on the guys she wants. and she is bummed and disillusioned. wait for another 5 yrs or so and she will have no guys at all. basically she cannot compete with the women 20 yrs her junior anymore. problem with her is that her mind is set in its ways. she thinks she is still 27 and young and beautiful when in reality she is not. too bad i guess.
Author Marshbear Posted June 27, 2005 Author Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale ....see MARSHBEAR....this is what happens when one puts all their eggs in one basket. this woman probably had men hanging all over her when she was younger and could take her "pick of the litter" now she is older and cannot take her pick anymore. she invested to heaviliy in her looks and now they are not working their magical powers on the guys she wants. and she is bummed and disillusioned. wait for another 5 yrs or so and she will have no guys at all. basically she cannot compete with the women 20 yrs her junior anymore. problem with her is that her mind is set in its ways. she thinks she is still 27 and young and beautiful when in reality she is not. too bad i guess. Exactly.... Alpha. You have descibed her to a tea. She was very attractive in her twenties and had guys out the A$$. She still thinks she is in that time ( she still looks good for 48 ) and can be picky. She cannot complete with 20's or even 30's but is determined to do as she wants. As I said she is very immature for her age and living in a unrealistic world in her mind. There is nothing I can do. I think I will have her read these posts but it won't change her mind until she see herself as she really is and not what she wants to be.....
westernxer Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Guys probably won't say anything because they want to bang her.
alphamale Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear There is nothing I can do. Sure there is MB....ask for oral sex I think I will have her read these posts Oops, sorry
AliceW Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Dunno...I guess I think that people who are pushing 50 (male or female) probably shouldn't be holding out for young model types, if for no other reason than that those people are not their peers and the relationship probably wouldn't work as well as a result. That said, I work with a woman who I'm sure is over 50, and she has a very good-looking boyfriend who's a good 20 years younger than she is. However, she is pretty exceptional: a very smart, elegant accomplished PhD who's a senior executive at our company. She is in good shape, but she doesn't try to look younger than she is...she just looks like a beautiful, elegant, fit woman who happens to be 50 yeasr old. It seems to work for her. And I guess that in general, if older guys can date young women, why not the other way around?
ImaManDammit Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 When you have been at the top of the food chain for so long, its difficult for someone to understand they are no longer the king of the hill and to have realistic expactations. As a friend you can be her ear of reason, but if she isn't willing to listen, then she needs to go through the pitfalls. Reality will show her if her expectations are realistic or not. It always does. As a friend, just be there for it when it crashes, because it will be hard and it will.
alphamale Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by ImaManDammit When you have been at the top of the food chain for so long, its difficult for someone to understand they are no longer the king of the hill and to have realistic expactations. very well stated IMAMANDAMNIT.... when you been at the top, the fall is long and hard.
AliceW Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Ugh, there is something about this thread that creeps me out...I guess it's the idea that having an older lover necessarily means that you're lowering your standards. I'm 35, my BF is 36, and I don't think that I am lowering my standards by being with him and not with a 25-year-old boy toy. In fact, my previous BF was 7 years younger than me, I ended things with him largely because I felt that we were in such difference stages of our lives that the relationship wasn't working for me. If "being realistic" means that you realize that you're not that young anymore and will get along better with someone your own age rather than a perfectly smooth-skinned post-adolescent, then I'm all for it. But there seems to be an overtone of "when you're old and washed up, you have to settle for other old washed up people even though young people are so much more desirable" in this thread, and it's a little weird to me....
lindya Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 there seems to be an overtone of "when you're old and washed up, you have to settle for other old washed up people even though young people are so much more desirable" in this thread, and it's a little weird to me.... I think it's just that some men sometimes find it immensely satisfying to see a once beautiful woman lose her looks, youth - and therefore, in their eyes, power.
ImaManDammit Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by AliceW But there seems to be an overtone of "when you're old and washed up, you have to settle for other old washed up people even though young people are so much more desirable" in this thread, and it's a little weird to me.... Not at all. It merely means that not all look beyond the physical for a match. So when someone of a certain year is not only looking for someone younger, they are also looking at trying to be with a model, then they have to be realisic that not everyone, especially the models, share that opinion. Its not as if this person said I am still interested in young men. It was, I can still GET young models. These are not the same.
AliceW Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by ImaManDammit Its not as if this person said I am still interested in young men. It was, I can still GET young models. These are not the same. OK, that's very true. Trying to attract young people just for the sake of showing the world that you've still got it is pretty sad.
alphamale Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by AliceW Ugh, there is something about this thread that creeps me out...I guess it's the idea that having an older lover necessarily means that you're lowering your standards. I'm 40 and my g/f is 47. She's pretty HOT for a 47 yr old. When we go out to the bar 25 yr old dudes try to pick her up.
Author Marshbear Posted June 27, 2005 Author Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by lindya I think it's just that some men sometimes find it immensely satisfying to see a once beautiful woman lose her looks, youth - and therefore, in their eyes, power. This is not the intent of my post. I was wanting to know if a women 48 years old is unrealistic in their expectations of still getting a young man? It has nothing to do with seeing her fall because she is aging. She is my friend. I just think that she would be much happier if she thought of men her age as datable and not just look for the hot, young guy. At 48 the attraction should be less important than the overall quality of the person. I just think she needs to grow up in her thinking and see men her age as virile males who have much to offer. Peace...
lindya Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear This is not the intent of my post. I was wanting to know if a women 48 years old is unrealistic in their expectations of still getting a young man? It has nothing to do with seeing her fall because she is aging. She is my friend. I just think that she would be much happier if she thought of men her age as datable and not just look for the hot, young guy. At 48 the attraction should be less important than the overall quality of the person. I just think she needs to grow up in her thinking and see men her age as virile males who have much to offer. Peace... It depends - does she want a long term relationship, or is it a quick fling she's after? Or does she say it's the latter, whilst you think it's really the former? I think she needs to think carefully about the real reasons for wanting a younger guy - and you could be right in saying that she needs to grow up in her thinking. It's seldom just about looks and physique. Speaking as someone in her 30s, I've found it easy to believe that younger guys will treat me better because they're less likely to be bitter about some woman from the past and angry towards women in general. They're also more inclined to be flattering and charming, whereas guys my own age take great delight in sending unflattering birthday cards reminding me of just how much of an old bag I'm turning into On the other hand the guys my own age might think the 18 year old women are hot, but those same guys are the ones who would be more likely to drop everything and drive 200 miles to help me if someone close to me died. The the younger ones would be too busy drawing on a joint and shagging the 18 year old chickie. Life's certainly complicated, isn't it!
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