hivvuvoid Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Hi guys, first time here. Well, I need some insight. First of all im sorry for my english. For 12 years i've been dating a beautiful girl. We started earlier in our lifes but managed to build a wonderful life together. We have a 2year child that makes 3 in a matter of weeks but from all the suddenly she told me that wasnt feeling the same for me and she met a new guy... well its hurts as ****. I saw this coming, she was getting a little bit distant but as soon as i saw it, i started to fight it. Making surprises, changing our routine, and many many more. and i felt its was getting better... well, even in bed... but from a day to another she said me that it wasnt feeling the same. This was a week ago.. first day i was completely devastated, i acted needy.... i know! Second day i made the decision to fight.. hell, now i know what i have to fight, so i thought.. but from there to yesterday my happiness has decreasing and im feeling much worse.. see her in our house, not communicating.. see her on the phone, even for just checking the hours, i feel like a knife was trespassing me. Since we live together its been hard to go away. I Dont have where to go, i love my child and cant let her go. Thats the truth. She says that doesnt love me, but in the next day hugs me and fall asleep on my chest like she used too. She said it need some space but stays upset when i dont text her. I know she have kissed the other guy, but from a difficult conversation we had, i know that was it. Yesterday i wanted to ear the final decision. Know if she wanted to fight this together with some garanties of course. (She cant try to fight and see the other guy) or the other decision that i not wanted to ear. At the end, I noticed she was and she still is, very very confused. She said me that wanted to try but didnt know if is going to work. After a while wanted me to go away. A left home in the middle of the night nowhere to go... and then after some hours i came back, went to the bedroom and the hugged very strongly and we sleept all night like this. Today she was looking another person but still confused. She puts the guilt on the routine but f*** me, i cant think what can i do.. One more thing. In the next weekend we have a reservation in a very romantic place. But should i go? What can i do? Edit: doesnt the actions speak louder than words? I dont want to fool myself. But love from 12 years cant go like this
PegNosePete Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Yes, actions speak much louder than words. And her actions are saying that she doesn't want to fight to be with you. If she did then she would not be with another guy. Your best option at this point is to totally disengage. Look up "the 180". Stick to that totally. She wants to have her cake and eat it. You need to show her that her actions have consequences, and that if she is going to throw you away, then she needs to see what life will be like for her. That means you don't support her, don't text her (unless it is concerning childcare), don't do all the nice things that you do, nothing. Show her what life will be like without you as a partner. Maybe she will realise what she is throwing away... and maybe not. 2
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