wombat31 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 So there's this girl that I started dating and it was nothing too serious but she does return to her college at the end of the summer. She hasn't really mentioned that it would be just a summer fling so I assumed maybe she just wanted to see where this would go. So I thought "Ok, because I'm not sure why don't I ask her where our boundaries are at." Like she knows I'm a very dorky guy and I like being romantic but I don't want to say something like "Thinking of you" and have it be creepy you know? And I texted her asking her if she could talk tomorrow at some time during lunch and I didn't say it like "I have something important to tell you", I actually just said "I just had something I wanted to poke your brain about :)" Question 1: Do you think that asking where boundaries are at is a little too serious or a stupid question to ask? I mean we've gone on three dates actually and they were all great so I wasn't sure if it was too early or she'll get annoyed because she thought it was really serious question. I mean I felt the way I asked, it couldn't be misunderstood as something like really deep. Alright, here's the next problem. How do you know if its just a summer fling? Don't most people tell you before they start dating you? Or should I have just assumed that it is a summer fling? Its pretty much why I want to ask her about boundaries because well, if I'm being honest it would be a damn shame just to be on a few dates and then 5 weeks later we probably never see each other again. Like we have pretty decent chemistry and she's really great but I'm not sure how close I can be and I want to know before I say something like "Thinking of you" or something else that you would think only couples who have been on more dates would say. I don't know I could really use some help here though if folks are up for it. Thanks
single8259 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 First, I think three dates is a little soon to define a relationship, not that that's what you're asking but it depends on the person. I would ask her directly if she would consider continuing to see each other and go on dates once she goes back to school. That way you're not asking to define a relationship, but you'll know if she still wants to spend time with you or cut it off. As far as saying "thinking of you," I think that's sweet when guys say that to me even if it's not serious. You could come up with something that reminds You of her (something you've talked about) and use that as the icebreaker. Not all women react the same so just try it and see how she responds. 1
jen1447 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Is she going back to school far far away? If a relationship has a hard expiration date (like a change of scenery that makes it impossible to continue), it's usually a fling, yeah. Doesn't mean there aren't feelings and things can sometimes get more serious unintentionally, but 'going away for good' usually doesn't mean you're in her longterm plans. btw think carefully before you try a LDR - if she's young and at a school environment, that's bound to end in heartache. I think asking her what's up is fine, just don't get needy or the fling will end before its expiration date.
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