Micks14 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 After being single for a year, I decided to start dating again. I started talking to this one girl and we really hit it off. We had so much in common - personality wise, ethnically, and professionally. Long story short, there was intense chemistry between us, immediately. On our first date, we kept extending it because neither one of us wanted it to end, so we would find something else to do. When it finally did end, we had our good night kiss, and literally, just fell into each other's arms. We made out for half an hour. Within 30 minutes of that date ending, I received a text from her. She told me that she had the most unbelievable night. Fast forward a few weeks later, she started to pull away. I found out that she was dating two people at the same time - me and someone else. Unfortunately, she didn't choose me. Here's the dilemma. She was going to school hours away from home. She never had any intention of staying in her school town, which is where I was. I don't think she was expecting to meet anyone away from home and having that chemistry. The other person was back home, where she planned to return. So, I backed off. I stopped texting her, even though I really liked her. I just let her go. A few nights ago, I heard a song that reminded me of her. And then out of the blue, after 2 months of no communication, she texted me. We picked up like nothing had changed. That chemistry, the easy flow of our communication, was still there. We texted back and forth for a few hours. The next morning, she texted me again. And the next day, she liked some of my stuff on Facebook. In the process, she told me that she was coming back to town for school, which she was unsure of before. The thing is that she's in a relationship with someone else, the other person. This has been weighing on my mind. I've been dating since, but I haven't found that same chemistry with anyone else. She's on my mind constantly and that "what if" is there. After she chose the other person, I honestly figured that I would never hear from her again. Part of me wonders if there is a reason that she made contact again. Do people get back in touch with someone if they don't care? Could she be second guessing her decision? Should try to do something about this? Or should I just let it be? I would appreciate any help. Thanks.
single8259 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Yes, people get back in touch with people that they don't care about because they want something from them. That doesn't mean that's what she's doing to you, but it doesn't mean she's not. If I were you, I would give it a try BUT only go into knowing that nothing could come out of it. Not only did she pick this other guy over you, but she's still in a relationship with him. She could be using you because you're in the area and could choose him over you again. It's up to you to decide if it's worth trying again and possibly getting hurt. You could also view it as enjoying her company and whatever happens, happens. Getting involved with her again doesn't sound like the best option but I understand wanting to give it a chance. Continue to date other people while you're seeing her.
Rainah Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 You havn't found a chemestry with other girls because your not letting yourself to due to still having feelings for this girl. She made her choice she went for the other guy, not you, it seems her being in contact with you is either an ego boost for her since she proberbly knows how hung up you are about her as well as possibly wanting something out of you. Its disrespectful of her to be contacting you while she currently has a boyfriend, how is that fair to him? Think of it if you were the one she picked and she decided to meet this other fella while she went to that town, how would that make you feel? I think you should just cut your ties with this one, she really cant be trusted in my opinion.
Author Micks14 Posted June 30, 2016 Author Posted June 30, 2016 Thanks for the replies. I'm sure I just got my hopes up. I'm probably nothing more than the back up plan in the event things go sour with her relationship. It just doesn't make sense to me why someone would contact the other person after two months of no contact, especially if they're not interested. I wouldn't do that, but not everyone's honest.
smudge21 Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 Sorry but I don't like this person one bit. Seems she used you for some local company, bit of ego boosting, and then left and ended up with someone else. Now she's heading back and is looking for that ego boost again, whilst still in a relationship. I think all the red flag warnings are out on this one. If you can just see this as a bit of fun, see her the same she sees you (as an option rather than a choice), then go for it. However, it's clear you are emotionally involved (and it's clear she isn't), so I'd personally walk away. Have some self respect and don't let her treat you like an option. The fact remains, she is with someone and has never truly been with you. It's like a get out of jail free card she can play whenever she wants - should you get too attached and start asking for more, she can always use the "I have a boyfriend remember..." line to keep you in check. Sorry, but it's a walk away from me.
Author Micks14 Posted August 11, 2016 Author Posted August 11, 2016 So, some late developments. The girl from my post above is now single. Her relationship ended. I have no idea why, but apparently it did. I really like her. Should I attempt to get back in touch? And if so, how should I go about this?
Erik30 Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 Seems like she was monkey branching, that's why she's suddenly back.
phineas Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 So, some late developments. The girl from my post above is now single. Her relationship ended. I have no idea why, but apparently it did. I really like her. Should I attempt to get back in touch? And if so, how should I go about this? your first mistake was just picking up like she never blew you off for another guy. You basically told her "hey, it's ok to blow me off then come back because i'm sooooooo in love with you i'll put up with all kinds of poor behavior" when a woman boomerangs i ask them straight out "what do you want with me?" if her answer isn't "date" or hang out at my place I pretty much ignore them because they truly have nothing to offer me but more wasted time and another fade out when they meet the next guy they want to date.
BluesPower Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 Mick, Listen, you need to let this woman go. Are you the kind of man that allows himself to be some girls back up plan. Really, have some self respect. Let me tell you what will most likely happen. If you start up with her it will be cool for a while, and you might have some really good wild monkey sex. So, when you really start to develop some feeling for her she will find a new guy and you will be holding you junk in your hand wondering what just happened. Look, just don't do this to yourself. You are better than that.
kendahke Posted August 11, 2016 Posted August 11, 2016 People get back in touch with their second choice when the first choice drops them off at the mall. You're second choice. You ok with that?
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