System580 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 I have a first date tomorrow night. The likes a certain beer that is hard to find and even the beer bar (where the date is) doesn't carry it. She even mentioned the beer on her online dating profile and we talked about in a message. I bought a bottle at a craft beer store and was going to slip it into the beer bar and give it to her or just start pouring it. My friend strongly thinks that I shouldn't give a gift on the first date. I am buying her a beer anyway, why not give her what she wants? I plan to do it very casually but My friend said it will make me look desperate. I thought it was smooth and showing effort and going the extra step that other guys wouldn't. Honest feedback please. Thank you. A yes or no would be sufficient.
CarrieT Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 I am buying her a beer anyway, why not give her what she wants? I plan to do it very casually I think it is a lovely thought - not over-the-top and a really nice gesture. Go for it.
basil67 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 I think it's a lovely gesture, but I'd hold off a bit. When you're at the stage of spending nights in and eating at home, I think a six-pack to share would be cool.
RecentChange Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Make sure the bar you are going to is cool with bringing in bottles. Some are okay with it for regulars, others really frown upon it (generally the rule is to share it with the bartender if you are going to bring in an outside bottle). I am a beer nerd and now I am curious, what is this elusive beer she is into?
BaileyB Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Lovely gesture - I would be very impressed. I just wouldn't give any kind of expensive material gift. But, this is a great idea!
90s kid Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 That's a very thoughtful gift! I think you should go for it.
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) very cool idea, being thoughtful isn't being desperate imo. in addition to being a thoughtful gesture it seems a confident gesture, to me. also seems it would be a lot of fun for both of you if you can pull tis off with the restaurant Edited June 30, 2016 by LivingWaterPlease
trippi1432 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Nothing wrong with that, a simple and meaningful gesture. Do make sure the bar will allow it. I had a guy try to give me a computer on a first date...........umm..No! lol!! You would not be over-doing it. Good luck!
clia Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Bringing one bottle of beer is fine, provided you didn't have to go out of your way to get it. However, don't pour it at the bar. Let her take it home.
joseb Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 So generally I think it's a bad idea to give gifts on a first date. But if you are to do something, then this is pretty cool. Check with the bar though, might not be allowed.
SammySammy Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 It used to be common for a young man to bring a small token gift or flowers on the first date. Back when we used to court rather than date (according to my mother). Those days are long gone. I haven't done it since I was a teen. Thirty years ago. 1
MissBee Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) I have a first date tomorrow night. The likes a certain beer that is hard to find and even the beer bar (where the date is) doesn't carry it. She even mentioned the beer on her online dating profile and we talked about in a message. I bought a bottle at a craft beer store and was going to slip it into the beer bar and give it to her or just start pouring it. My friend strongly thinks that I shouldn't give a gift on the first date. I am buying her a beer anyway, why not give her what she wants? I plan to do it very casually but My friend said it will make me look desperate. I thought it was smooth and showing effort and going the extra step that other guys wouldn't. Honest feedback please. Thank you. A yes or no would be sufficient. There seems to be lots of threads about doing "romantic" gestures but jumping the gun. It won't make you look desperate. I doubt she will react badly, but in general, I think first date gifts are too much, and almost seem like a bribe. Now, hear me out, that may not be your intention, but a first date can mean yes we like each other and will meet again OR this was bad, never again. If someone buys you a gift 1) she may feel awkward that she didn't get you anything and 2)if she or you end up not gelling, especially if it's she who doesn't like you, it will feel even more awkward if this person went out of their way to get you a gift...and for some folks they may feel bad so agree on a second date because of this whole gift thing and not because they're into you. It's not like you will get "extra points" or she will like you because you brought the beer. She will like you because of you if she's gonna like you and not because of the beer. So wait until you have later dates to pull out the beer. She'll still appreciate it on date 4 and there will be less of a bribey feel to it and it will seem more so like a genuinely sweet gesture, whereas doing it on a first date can be read in many ways that aren't necessarily as sweet and positive as you would hope. Edited June 30, 2016 by MissBee 1
andie1969 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 I would feel weirded out by that, esp if you haven't yet met in person. Wait to make sure there is a connection and thus a 2nd date, then do it. I guess I'd just feel extra bad if there wasn't a connection with a guy who put so much thought into something. JMHO 1
trippi1432 Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Sigh.........the fact that a man was listening, wants to go the extra mile, wants to make an impression in today's lack-luster dating world, a gesture...........a beer she likes. It's not an engagement ring. In a world where physical impressions means more than someone who is really present, where have values really gone? I could go on ten dates with ten men, the one who would get me is the one who was listening and not just "showing up". Symbol, don't think it, just do it. If she doesn't appreciate it, she's not the right girl for you. 2
Dis Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Sigh.........the fact that a man was listening, wants to go the extra mile, wants to make an impression in today's lack-luster dating world, a gesture...........a beer she likes. It's not an engagement ring. In a world where physical impressions means more than someone who is really present, where have values really gone? I could go on ten dates with ten men, the one who would get me is the one who was listening and not just "showing up". Symbol, don't think it, just do it. If she doesn't appreciate it, she's not the right girl for you. I agree with trippi. I would be so impressed if a guy did something like this for me on a first date. Who cares about all the rules and regulations...if you feel comfortable giving her a gift on the first date and she appreciates it...then perfect! If you give her the gift and she thinks your coming on too strong...then maybe you're just not compatible I personally think its SO sweet Do what feels right for you and good luck hun! 2
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