No Contact - It Works. Honest.

[antinko]

Once upon a time, I wrote this coping journal about getting over my ex whom I was convinced I loved wholly. I was wrong.

 

The journal is pretty long and full of the typical musings one might expect from somebody who is hurting. I certainly was hurting at the time and I genuinely felt like it would never ever end. In fact, my confidence was at a rock bottom low for a while and it was only due to discovering this wonderful forum and its participants that I became remotely motivated to do something about it. And I'm so glad I did!

 

Anyway, I think most, if not all, of the folks I communicated with at the time no longer post, but I thought I'd just check in anyway because I remember how terrible I felt.

 

I managed to get over my ex ultimately by adhering to the 'No Contact' rule. Following that rule was intensely difficult as I naively felt for a while that there still may have been a chance for us, but eventually I naturally gravitated towards healthier thinking and started dating again.

 

My last few posts in that journal speak of a girl I started dating. I remember feeling at the time that it probably wouldn't become anything. This girl was very slow to respond to texts and e-mails and our dates were sporadic for quite a while.

 

So, why am I mentioning this? Well, firstly, I continued to date that girl and we took things slow. Neither of us wanted to rush and held no expectations over each other. It was just relaxed.

 

Anyway, to cut a long story short, we dated until 2013 when we decided that it was in both of our interests...to move in. And despite that being scary because we had been living 50 miles apart when we were dating, it went well.

 

We rented for two years but last year decided that we'd had enough though...

 

So we bought our first house together. It has windows and doors and we don't have to submit to property inspections which is nice.

 

Now it's 2016 and I never really think about that ex I thought I'd never get over. I love my current partner as much as I did back in 2011 when I met her and we trust each other wholly. We'd never sought each other out. We just met. We didn't think anything would come of it; neither had we put a sell by date on our dating... We just went with it. And it seems to be working. We're both very happy anyway.

 

So, now we're living in a house we both own.

 

We've been together almost five years now. I know five years isn't a long time and our relationship has had its challenges at times, but we established strong foundations. We love and respect each other and everything you could wish of a strong relationship is there I think.

 

I don't take my position for granted. I know nothing lasts forever, but I can say hand on heart that situations can dramatically improve even when you're feeling down and out.

 

We're getting married next year by the way.

[Gemini_jo]

It's refreshing to hear this! Happy for you, thank you for telling your story.