StevePeshem Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Hello! I met this girl online over a year ago, didn't really have any reason to meet up, we just liked talking to each other but we grew closer as friends, eventually she asked if I wanted to come to a party with her, I accepted and we went, I stayed at her house in the guest room, we had a fun night, walked back arm in arm (drunk at about 4am so I don't think that's anything other than trying to keep each other balanced!) Next day I gave her a hug and we parted ways, I'm living about 2 hours away at the moment but moving closer due to work, but she has since asked me about 4 times when I'm next coming down. But due to work (fire service) I have pretty hard shifts and have been covering a lot for people on holidays. I asked her I'll be in London next weekend if you want me to be? And she said yes but I'm not really sure how to play it. Am I going as just a friend again, or is she expecting something more romantically charged. I know you can't answer that but I don't really know how to go into the weekend with her. 'Signs I think she likes me' 'Since meeting we have gone from group chats to everything 1-1' 'She has said she would love it if I moved there' 'Refers to us as a power couple' 'Wants me to visit' 'Signs I think she sees me as a friend' 'Constantly uses the word mate (we're British but she seems to do this with a lot of people) 'Whenever I'm out with someone she asks if it's a date' 'Sends me snaps of her pulling 'ugly' faces 1
preraph Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Okay. Listen to me. You're leaving it up to her. Don't wait for her to define the relationship. She's already asked you to stuff and been nice. Time for you to take the wheel and decide for yourself what you want. Make a move on her. If she truly thinks of you only as a friend, which I doubt, she will say so, and then you can either say, "Oh, not looking for just a friend" or "Yes, I can do that." Good luck. 2
Maggie888 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Agree with preraph. You are coming from a position of passiveness and cowardice. If you want this to be more then make a move. Dont be Mr Passive Nice Guy who waits for her to clearly define and wxoress romantic interest. Make a damn move if you want. Worse that can happen is she says Whoa and freindzones you. Then just say fine and either accept that or dont. But Im guessing she is into you mate 2
Satu Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 She's up for it. Don't miss the decisive moment. When its gone, its gone. “The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.” - Omar Ahayyám Take care.
Cayemmo Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Hi Steve, Thanks for writing! New relationships can be a lot of fun. And it seems like you care a lot about her to travel so far (2 hours) to see her. That's pretty cool of you. The downside to new relationships is the anxiety it can cause when you want the relationship to move fast than what it is. Then there's sometimes that "grey area" - the place where you're not 100% sure where the relationship is going. Have you ever ask her directly about where the relationship might be headed? From your message it sounds like she really enjoys your company. But it might be a good idea to step up and just ask her, to hear her feelings and intentions, and gain more clarity. If you care for this girl, as it sounds like you do, it's probably best not to encourage undefined or premature emotional intimacy between the two of you during your few months of being "sociable". If you have, I'd encourage you to reset the trajectory of your interactions and the relationship. Take the lead in suggesting a clear way forward and see whether she's open to being exclusive. If she saids yes, great! Then you both know where you stand. Admittedly, it's possible you will get some undesired "clarity" with this approach, but risk is part of being a good leader, and it may lead to something great if she responds positively to your leadership. Either way, it will ultimately be less hurtful and more responsible than proceeding blindly. Forgive me but, I have a question… Do you think it was wise to be drunk and out until 4am. That's a pretty unsafe time to be on the streets. Steve, drinking to intoxication puts you and your friend in a very vulnerable position. An indulgence of the moment has subtle and (sometimes not-so-subtle) consequences on relationships. Just a side note. Relationships can be complicated but it can be more of an adventure when you walk with God in the decisions you make in those relationships. I don't know if your a believer in Jesus, but He wants the best for both you and your lady friend. I bet she's a lovely girl and you obviously care a lot about her, but I hope that you both take time to consider the One who loves and cares for you more than anyone else ever could. Hope all this is helpful. I will pray that the Lord will give you wisdom and courage in this. God bless you!
joseb Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Hello! I met this girl online over a year ago, didn't really have any reason to meet up, we just liked talking to each other but we grew closer as friends, eventually she asked if I wanted to come to a party with her, I accepted and we went, I stayed at her house in the guest room, we had a fun night, walked back arm in arm (drunk at about 4am so I don't think that's anything other than trying to keep each other balanced!) OK, if you like her, why did you not make a move either wile walking home drunk arm and arm (about as open a chance as you are likely to get) or while staying over in her house (obviously even a more open chance)? If I were her, I would assume you were not interested, and start to friend zone you. Are you interested?
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