Ncwigirl Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I met this guy on Tinder back in the middle of May. We finally met up yesterday for 15 mins. At first, we were suppose to meet up in May three different times and it fell through each time. I had to go out of state on business for three weeks and he convinced me to continue the relationship. So we did when I was to come home had said he had to go out of town on business the night before I was to leave. I said ok and I was still going to come home as my friends were telling not to believe him since this was the fourth time of excuses. I called his work that Monday to see if he was there and he was though he was suppose to be three hours away. When I confronted him about it he said he got that morning early to be back at work by 7 when I called? Hmmm. I didn't tell him I knew he was at work until 2pm. He accused me of being out of line for calling work and after I thought about I thought maybe I was. However my friends told me I needed to fact check to make sure his story added up. Anyways, a week later we were suppose to met up and something came up. So yesterday we were to meet and on my way down something came up at work and he told me to come by work and I did. We finally seen each other and he said we'd get together Thursday which is my birthday. I told him he better not mess up my birthday so today I asked for a game plan and now he says he's still sick. He was texting me after we met yesterday and everything seemed fine. I know he's not married and I'm pretty confident there's no girlfriend. I'm wondering if it's a class thing. Meaning I make more than him and he has issues. Then why keep going down this road? Wouldn't he just come out and say it's not going to work. I invited him to Vegas for the weekend and he said he couldn't because of money but I offered to pay for it. I've invested 6-7 weeks in this whatever you call it of a relationship. I need advice. 1
Rainah Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 6 - 7 weeks of this messing around is rediculous, I think you have given it enough time to have a chance to meet up but there is an excuse, what if you were to get into a relationship with this guy and he carries on doing what he is doing? Can you deal with seeing him once every 2 months? I think you should continue your search for a guy who has time for you and wants to meet you, this guy clearly insnt interested otherwise he would have met up with you by now instead of excuse after excuse for 6 - 7 weeks. 2
Author Ncwigirl Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 I was out of state for 3 of the weeks then we both had things to do on weekends. We send pics back and forth at least 3-4 a week. My question is why he agreed to have me come to work yesterday if he wasn't interested? He's still texting too? 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 First, it was out of line for you to call his work. You're not officially dating or exclusive and that made you look needy not to mention a bit like a stalker. Not cool. Second, I agree with Rainah that it's ridiculous how much time you wasted on this douche and I can't help but wonder why???? And for the record, this is NOT a relationship. Not even close. He's not interested in you in the same you are in him. Time to cut your loses and move on. Good luck. 3
Zahara Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Calling his work was completely out of line. You haven't even met and you had to check up on him and play spy? Then you threaten him about making sure he doesn't ruin your birthday. You are certain that he is not married or has a girlfriend just by a 15 minute meeting and chats online? Not forgetting all those cancellations? Please, move on. 2
JewelD Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I met this guy on Tinder back in the middle of May. We finally met up yesterday for 15 mins. At first, we were suppose to meet up in May three different times and it fell through each time. I had to go out of state on business for three weeks and he convinced me to continue the relationship. So we did when I was to come home had said he had to go out of town on business the night before I was to leave. I said ok and I was still going to come home as my friends were telling not to believe him since this was the fourth time of excuses. I called his work that Monday to see if he was there and he was though he was suppose to be three hours away. When I confronted him about it he said he got that morning early to be back at work by 7 when I called? Hmmm. I didn't tell him I knew he was at work until 2pm. He accused me of being out of line for calling work and after I thought about I thought maybe I was. However my friends told me I needed to fact check to make sure his story added up. Anyways, a week later we were suppose to met up and something came up. So yesterday we were to meet and on my way down something came up at work and he told me to come by work and I did. We finally seen each other and he said we'd get together Thursday which is my birthday. I told him he better not mess up my birthday so today I asked for a game plan and now he says he's still sick. He was texting me after we met yesterday and everything seemed fine. I know he's not married and I'm pretty confident there's no girlfriend. I'm wondering if it's a class thing. Meaning I make more than him and he has issues. Then why keep going down this road? Wouldn't he just come out and say it's not going to work. I invited him to Vegas for the weekend and he said he couldn't because of money but I offered to pay for it. I've invested 6-7 weeks in this whatever you call it of a relationship. I need advice. The problem is he now think it's okay to bail on you because you keep letting him. Once is bad enough, but two, three times? That's how you know he'd either too busy or simply not interested enough. Key word here being 'enough'. He's obviously somewhat interested because you guys ended up meeting, although it's weird that he made you come to him. I would move on. He's flaked too many times. And offering to pay for his Vegas trip, why? What has he done that makes him worthy of hanging out with you again let alone being given a full paid vacation? I don't know enough to know if it has to do with class or not, but it's been over a month and he's obviously not giving what you want. At this point, it wouldn't make sense to expect him to change. 1
Author Ncwigirl Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 Over the three weeks I was out of state we texted and talked a couple times a week. He knew I was coming back early for use to see each other on the weekend and waited until the very, I mean very last minute to tell me he had to go somewhere for work three hours away. I talked to him Sunday afternoon around 530 and he said he was staying there and working on Monday. My friends told me to fact check after I talked to him and he was at work at 7am. He said he got up early to get back there that morning. He doesn't know I know he was there at 7, he thinks I called around 2. Anyways, I still can't figure out why he agreed to see me yesterday and he's still talking to me. With regards to class. I work in the NFL and I offered to have he come and see me do what I do as job wise. To meet so football players and so forth. Which was last weekend and he had a concert to go to. I make probably double him. Yesterday I said I was dressed business and he said it was dressed up not business. I figured out his car is 10 years old and he said his debit card wasn't working. So I'm thinking maybe it's a financial thing and he thinks he can't deal with me. The problem is he now think it's okay to bail on you because you keep letting him. Once is bad enough, but two, three times? That's how you know he'd either too busy or simply not interested enough. Key word here being 'enough'. He's obviously somewhat interested because you guys ended up meeting, although it's weird that he made you come to him. I would move on. He's flaked too many times. And offering to pay for his Vegas trip, why? What has he done that makes him worthy of hanging out with you again let alone being given a full paid vacation? I don't know enough to know if it has to do with class or not, but it's been over a month and he's obviously not giving what you want. At this point, it wouldn't make sense to expect him to change. 1
Author Ncwigirl Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 We had a connection I thought. I recently moved to the area and it's the first time I've ever used a dating app/website. I thought I needed to start living in the area instead of back from where I'm from. I guess this is my burning. Also I've dedicated my life to work and now I'm trying to get my personal life figured out. I'm 32 and needed a change. He's 37, never been married and no kids. Calling his work was completely out of line. You haven't even met and you had to check up on him and play spy? Then you threaten him about making sure he doesn't ruin your birthday. You are certain that he is not married or has a girlfriend just by a 15 minute meeting and chats online? Not forgetting all those cancellations? Please, move on. 1
Author Ncwigirl Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 Also after my screw up with calling his office. He said he wasn't ready to date me but wanted try the friends with benefits road. With traveling with my job and my screw up I thought well maybe this would work better.
Satu Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 He seems like a total time waster to me. You could do much better than him. 1
Zahara Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Also after my screw up with calling his office. He said he wasn't ready to date me but wanted try the friends with benefits road. With traveling with my job and my screw up I thought well maybe this would work better. If you're looking for a relationship, let this one go. He's already established you as someone for sex. 2
Author Ncwigirl Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 I'm wondering if I should ask him what the situation is. It just seems like he runs hot and cold. 1
Satu Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Hot + Cold = Lukewarm If he was into you the way you want him to be, this thread wouldn't exist. Take care.
joseb Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 OP, this is all a total mess. This is NOT a relationship. He is a flake and a time waster, and less than truthful. And calling a guy's work place that you have never met? Sorry, that screams stalker, and I would block someone that did that. I would cut contact if I were you. However, if you really don't want a relationship, but just looking for a fk buddy, and you find him very attractive, then maybe that is an option. Just don't expect him to turn up whenever you feel like it. 1
Zahara Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I'm wondering if I should ask him what the situation is. It just seems like he runs hot and cold. Best to focus on his actions rather than his words. It's telling you all you need to now. Hot and cold is an indication of low interest. 2
JewelD Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Over the three weeks I was out of state we texted and talked a couple times a week. He knew I was coming back early for use to see each other on the weekend and waited until the very, I mean very last minute to tell me he had to go somewhere for work three hours away. I talked to him Sunday afternoon around 530 and he said he was staying there and working on Monday. My friends told me to fact check after I talked to him and he was at work at 7am. He said he got up early to get back there that morning. He doesn't know I know he was there at 7, he thinks I called around 2. Anyways, I still can't figure out why he agreed to see me yesterday and he's still talking to me. With regards to class. I work in the NFL and I offered to have he come and see me do what I do as job wise. To meet so football players and so forth. Which was last weekend and he had a concert to go to. I make probably double him. Yesterday I said I was dressed business and he said it was dressed up not business. I figured out his car is 10 years old and he said his debit card wasn't working. So I'm thinking maybe it's a financial thing and he thinks he can't deal with me. How do you know what he makes? I can't imagine any man truly interested in a woman would turn down a chance to meet football players bc she made more money than him. I think you're thinking way too much into the class thing. Trying to find a reason why he might be flaky instead of just considering he's just not that into you. And you probably freaked him out a bit calling his job. Maybe he's bored or wants to have sex at some point, but if he really liked you, he would make you a priority. If you keep trying to talk to him, you will continue to be blown off. 1
Author Ncwigirl Posted June 30, 2016 Author Posted June 30, 2016 We had a financial conversation and he told me what he made after the incident of me calling his work about a week and a half later. How do you know what he makes? I can't imagine any man truly interested in a woman would turn down a chance to meet football players bc she made more money than him. I think you're thinking way too much into the class thing. Trying to find a reason why he might be flaky instead of just considering he's just not that into you. And you probably freaked him out a bit calling his job. Maybe he's bored or wants to have sex at some point, but if he really liked you, he would make you a priority. If you keep trying to talk to him, you will continue to be blown off.
VeveCakes Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 Seems the one with the chip about the different classes is you, or maybe you just have a big ego. You're acting a bit loco over someone you met once for 15 minutes. Not healthy. I would think there would be lots of men around in your line of work, might be better than wasting weeks texting someone met online.
CarrieT Posted June 30, 2016 Posted June 30, 2016 We had a connection I thought. Until you meet someone in person, there is no connection. There is only the fantasy that you create in your head of what you expect and hope there to be. He's 37, never been married and no kids. Or so he has said. The reason he may not have met you in person is because there is a wife and kids. You really don't know anything about him other than what he has chosen to tell you - which may or may not be true. Ever heard of Catfishing? He said he wasn't ready to date me but wanted try the friends with benefits road. Yeah - he is not remotely invested in you as a person, but as a way to get his rocks off. Seriously - get off Tinder (which is just a hook-up app) and find REAL MEN to meet IN REAL LIFE. You have just wasted weeks of your time....
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