leogirl876 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 So I met this guy on eHarmony about 3 weeks ago. We've texted back & forth, talked on the phone, went out a first date last Friday, and have talked to him on the phone again since our first date. When we've talked on the phone, he's called me sweetie or sweetheart. I'm not taking it personally as if he's all into me, but I'm wondering if anyone else thinks that's weird? Does anyone think it's creepy or that's just something he says. Thoughts? 1
MissBee Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I'd find it a little disingenuous if a guy was doing that. Some people do it to feign intimacy and for some that's how they talk, you gotta pay attention and feel for yourself if it seems like one or the other. But chances are, if he never did it before, then that's not just his usual lingo, and so this change signals something in his mind. However, terms of endearment like sweetie do not mean this person is all into you. Like I said, some use it to feign intimacy and close the gap quickly, for this very reason that some people will interpret it as a whole lot more. 1
stillafool Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Some people just use that word "sweetie", "sweetheart" all the time (like me). I call men, women and children that. I wouldn't blink twice if a man said that to me. But, who knows maybe he meant more.
Nowty V Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 This smacks of depersonalising you, and covering his tracks if he's playing other women at the same time. If you are sweetie/sweetheart you are not leogirl876, he has desensitized himself opening the way for abhorrent or hurtful consequences. I would insist he address me as leogirl876, or a derivative I'm happy with and take it from there. 2
kendahke Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I don't consider it an affront or a diminution of me, my esteem or my character.
tinkerbell16 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 So I met this guy on eHarmony about 3 weeks ago. We've texted back & forth, talked on the phone, went out a first date last Friday, and have talked to him on the phone again since our first date. When we've talked on the phone, he's called me sweetie or sweetheart. I'm not taking it personally as if he's all into me, but I'm wondering if anyone else thinks that's weird? Does anyone think it's creepy or that's just something he says. Thoughts? If he Southern it's a cultural thing and not meant to be offensive or weird. It is just a term of endearment. 3
tinkerbell16 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 So I met this guy on eHarmony about 3 weeks ago. We've texted back & forth, talked on the phone, went out a first date last Friday, and have talked to him on the phone again since our first date. When we've talked on the phone, he's called me sweetie or sweetheart. I'm not taking it personally as if he's all into me, but I'm wondering if anyone else thinks that's weird? Does anyone think it's creepy or that's just something he says. Thoughts? If he is Southern it's a cultural thing and not meant to be offensive or weird. It is comes out of the southerners mouth almost as often as the word "the". 3
kendahke Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Had he called me a "b" or a "c", then yeah, I'd have a problem with that.
Author leogirl876 Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 If he is Southern it's a cultural thing and not meant to be offensive or weird. It is comes out of the southerners mouth almost as often as the word "the". Yes, he is southern, born and raised. Has the southern accent too. 1
Tayla Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I don't consider it an affront or a diminution of me, my esteem or my character. My sentiments exactly! As the saying goes, you can call me anything you want, just don't call me late to dinner 2
MissBee Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 If he Southern it's a cultural thing and not meant to be offensive or weird. It is just a term of endearment. When this is how someone talks and it's cultural, they don't mysteriously only start doing it 3 weeks in after their first date...they would do it from day one in all the other communication. That's what makes you realize this is just their standard vernacular. I am not saying he has malicious intent btw, but I am saying that him starting it now definitely signals some change in his mind, maybe more intimacy, since it happened after the first face to face date. OP if you don't like it, ask him not to do it. But the major point is, people do this for different reasons. I've had men who try to force the intimacy by using nicknames to make it seem like we had a closer relationship than we did, even when they weren't intending it maliciously, and I have had folks who in general spoke like that and I've also had boyfriends who didn't use names like that until we had a more developed relationship and it felt more organic. It clearly feels weird and off to you, so just pay attention to why. 1
Cherryz Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Some people use those words also when they just met you. But it is rude to call all women sweetie and cutie , baby, and all of those things or people that you not know that way. Those words are for your gf/bf,. Doesn't matter what he do or think, if you dont like it, just let him know right away. 1
stillafool Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 If he is Southern it's a cultural thing and not meant to be offensive or weird. It is comes out of the southerners mouth almost as often as the word "the". This is me and most other southerners. Is this guy southern? 3
tinkerbell16 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Yes, he is southern, born and raised. Has the southern accent too. Well there you go sweetheart 4
Author leogirl876 Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 This is me and most other southerners. Is this guy southern? Yes, born and raised in the south. 1
stillafool Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Yes, he is southern, born and raised. Has the southern accent too. Then it means nothing. 1
Jabron1 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I would ask why this concerns you? I have been seeing a girl that called me 'babe' before the first date. It didn't worry me at all. It wasn't going to change my focus too much (by the way, it has gone well). So why is it an issue? Start looking inward. Maybe this is a man/woman thing that I'm not picking up on. But I think this is getting a bit paranoid. 2
Nowty V Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 So I met this guy on eHarmony about 3 weeks ago. Doesn't matter if he's Southern or not, if he's from OLD keep your wits about you. Sure as the relationship progresses and you become familiar with each other cute names may come in, but never forget who you are and make sure he doesn't. 'You' matter, 'sweetie' doesn't. 1
Cablebandit Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 (edited) Good gracious some people get bent out of shape over so little. I'm glad my wife has her stuff together or she would want to fight every waitress in the South that calls me hun, honey, babe....and they call her the same thing. It is a term of endearment from a Southerner. Embrace it!!!! look at the thread in this section titled SHOULD I JUST MOVE ON....2nd post someone calls the OP "hun"...........oh noez... Edited June 29, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merge 1
Grapesofwrath Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 These things can be cultural. Sweetheart or sugar are very Southern. Where I am from, we call everyone "babydoll" or "doll." Doesn't mean anything. I say it to strangers, unless they are older than me, in which case it is disrespectful. If he is a professional, he has probably learned to suppress it in certain situations where it would be considered offensive. But you are past that point, so maybe he is relaxing and can be more himself. If it offends you, let him know, otherwise no biggie. 1
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