Left suddenly after long term? Any dumpers know what might have happened?

[stlcards0803]

So im new to LS and this is quite the story...

 

I was just fairly recently(5 weeks now) left by an ex girlfriend of 2.5 years. I am 25, she is 21... The relationship was good… Great actually. We rarely argued and fighting just wasn’t our personalities. Always missed each other when we left, always had a great time together. We started to take the next steps in our relationship by talking about the future and looking at some houses, just for fun. Then my work was trying to move me to another city and she is still in grad school while just starting her career(she is a very independent career driven girl, when she says she wants to do something she will do it, if she cant do it, she will try until she can no longer achieve it, plus shes gorgeous). So she was stressed already and on top of that my work pressuring me to move made me stressed which, in turn made her even more stressed.

 

It was coming up on my bday weekend and I could tell she was having a bad week and so was I..so I just randomly asked if we were alright and if she still felt the same about me.. She said of course I do I’m just so stressed out and it’s just going to get worse with my new job starting. Okay.. No reason to worry. She then told me she was really excited to see me over the weekend and celebrate my bday.

 

Saturday came and she woke up at 630am just to bake me a cake. Celebrated my birthday and the day was normal… Until that night, she seemed distant, I caught her kind of just starring at me multiple times that night. Looks I’ve never really gotten before, so in bed I asked if she was okay and I got the yeah I’m just so overwhelmed right now it’s all I can think about I’m sorry. Okay… Once again no worries.

 

Sunday came and the day started different, she was quiet.. And as the day went on I could just feel something was wrong. When we got back I was about to leave and she went in for a hug and said thank you for everything. Gave me a kiss and I was on my way. Five min into my drive I realized that something was up. I called her and she said “I just don’t know if I see long term anymore, your work is making you move and I’m just starting my career, I have to do this now, I’m just not ready for this, I just need some space” I then proceeded to tell her I was not moving anymore and that I get to stay and she said it was too late and that she’s already broken my heart and it would never be the same again for how she did this.

 

So the next day I apologized for getting upset on the phone. Asked if there was someone else and she said she hasn’t even texted or talked to another guy since we’ve been together. Blah blah.

 

Tuesday comes and I text her simply “did you cheat on me” I get a “absolutely not, I would never ever do that to you or hurt you in that way. I can’t believe you would think that”.. I didn’t respond.

 

Next day she started her new job and I simply said “good luck today” I get back a “thank you so much! I hope you’ve had a great week” fast forward a week and a half.. No contact from either part. I text her “hey I hope your first week at your new job went well” I get back a “thank you so much, it’s going good just so busy with school and work, I hope you’re doing well too!” I did not respond. There has been no contact since then. This upcoming Sunday will be 6 weeks.

 

Some more info I left out… She removed most of our pics two days after. She then removed all but two pictures about a week ago. On Instagram you can see what people like and she hasn’t liked any sad things, mostly just wedding stuff and beaches. She’s also posted a couple pictures since then of her laughing or trying to look pretty, with her most recent two saying, "nothing but smiles" and "how can you not smile", she seems to be happy and having fun with her friends.

 

I saw no signs or warnings of this, and when I thought something was wrong I asked and was reassured it was okay. I know this was a long read but any help would be great. I’ve been tearing myself apart over how i just feel like I meant nothing to her. It feels like she doesn’t even miss me. And our relationship she said about a week and a half before was “so easy”.

 

What would cause her to just get up and go? when I say she was fine a week before she was... Im the insecure type that when I sense something wrong or if shes even the slightest upset, i know and try to comfort her. From what I heard it was triggered by me being offered to move, and it basically grew bigger and bigger inside of her. But to not want to work things out? to dump me aside?

 

I unfollowed her on all social media about a week and a half ago and she unfollowed me about 2 days ago(she has an app that lets her know when people unfollow) she also removed another picture after that happened of me. Im doing fine, im a good guy, with a great career.. I have my dream job, i like to think im a good looking guy, and i used to play pro baseball so im in good shape. This whole thing has sucked, i would love to talk to her again.. but it looks like that wont happen. Advice? Help? Past or current experiences?

 

I am the type of guy raised on old ways...

Treated her with nothing but respect(Even after she left I was just respecting that)

Held the car door open, paid for dates, etc

Never wanted another girl

Random good guy stuff, but I was also very confident.

Edited June 29, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs ~6

[Buddhist]

She's 21 is what happened. The relationship was fine for her while it was convenient. When real commitment raised it's head, in terms of you two not being in the same city anymore and having to raise the bar in trust and effort, she was out of there. Sad but it happens and it happens at lot at that age.

 

Many, many young people think they have forever to find someone, think that there must be something better out there as soon as the fairytale is over, find relationships aren't as important to them as they new career seems to be, just have other priorities at that time. It's all a normal part of life.

 

No matter how you treat someone there is never a guarantee they'll be a permanent fixture in your life and there doesn't necessarily need to be a breakdown in the relationship between you for it to end either. You two just got to a crossroads, that said, either be more committed to this or leave. She chose to leave.

[Satu]

The fundamental truths of Taoism:

 

 

Things change.

 

People change.

 

Situations change.

 

Nothing ever remains the same.

 

 

What is most important is to adapt to these changes as completely as possible.

 

You are now a single person, so you have to restructure your life so that being single is enjoyable, rewarding, and fulfilling.

 

Look at all the possibilities that are now open to you because you are single.

 

Don't sit and look into the hole where your girlfriend used to be.

 

Live your life.

 

 

Take care.

[bummer]

She's 21 is what happened.

 

Nailed it!

 

Sorry, dude, Im in the same boat picking up the pieces. You sound awesome and I'm glad you left with dignity. She wasn't ready for all of you and made her choice long before these subtle hints popped up. Those hints were just her thinking hard to confirm her decision.

 

Watch your rebounds and consider this a chance to work on yourself, by yourself. Find a new hobby.

[stlcards0803]

Thanks everyone for your help! Much appreciated!!