Gemini_jo Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I know it's a terrible idea to even think about sending this. I looked up our song from the 3 years we were together. Wish there was someway we could listen to it together and see what would come out of it. I'll never do it though, can't risk the heartbreak. I gotta desensitize myself to this stuff. I'm holding myself back and I know it.
jen1447 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I assume this is over a lost love type thing? If you're the one who lost her love, trying to recapture it by appealing to the old feelings somehow is a one-sided venture that'll always drop like a ton of bricks for the other. So no, don't send the song.
Author Gemini_jo Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 I assume this is over a lost love type thing? If you're the one who lost her love, trying to recapture it by appealing to the old feelings somehow is a one-sided venture that'll always drop like a ton of bricks for the other. So no, don't send the song. Agreed. Those feelings though. Those damn feelings.
jen1447 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Yeah, it's really a kick in the balls. Everyone's diff but it was better for me to avoid music altogether during that time. It activates the sympathetic/emotional regions of your brain, which are already delicate and wounded and highly aroused and suffering toxic shock, and just ....beginstrobelightemotionalseizure
Author Gemini_jo Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 Working through rather than succumbing to these emotions is good thing I think. I hope one day I’ll be able to listen to that song with complete indifference. Now though, it just makes me want to cuddle up and be emotionally physical with her. Obviously, a negative toxic addicting thought. That open wounded delicate brain reference is on point!
jen1447 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I've never found indifference to happen but it can be compartmentalized and put in the proper perspective. That happens sorta naturally over time after the emotions fade.
Author Gemini_jo Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 I'm at the "put in proper perspective" phase. I sure hope indifference will happen eventually. That's what I want.
jen1447 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I understand that's the natural impulse, but trust me, acceptance is better than indifference. 20 years from now you want to be able to view it as "ok" - sth that happened in your life and was a valuable experience and contributed to your present identity, etc. Not sth you want to forget and don't give a damn about, bc both of those things will be impossible. Indifference amounts to hedging your bets on your identity and your future.
Author Gemini_jo Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 I accept even though deep down a part of me doesn't want to. A part of me hopes she will reach out to me. But I'm not like pinning for her or letting her take over and affect my daily life. I know that she was a valuable experience to me and definitely contributed to my present identity. It just takes time to completely accept everything I guess.
jen1447 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Yep, it's all a function of time. You probably won't even realize it when you cross the threshold.
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