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have you ever had strong feelings for another while in a relationship?


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Posted

If yes, how did it go?

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Posted

Nowhere.

 

Because I did the right thing and broke up with the poor guy. He deserved better.

 

I also knew that I wouldnt end up with the other guy either.

 

The fact I fell for someone else spoke volumes. I was over the relationship with my ex and needed to move on.

 

True feelings for anther is a symtom of deeper issues.

 

Crushes on people you feel chemistry with are normal and healthy; genuine feelings are not.

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Posted (edited)

have you ever tried to balance two raw eggs on two spoons while you walk ?

 

Try it ..... there is your answer

Edited by ChocolateRain
ETA
  • Like 2
Posted
have you ever tried to balance two raw eggs on two spoons while you walk ?

 

Try it ..... there is your answer

 

With a bit of practice it ends up being easy to manage? :p

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Posted
With a bit of practice it ends up being easy to manage? :p

 

well you can practice all you want :psooner or later you will lose focus and then '' BooM '' Scrambled eggs ;)

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Posted

Just to clear for the OP: I agree with ChocolateRain. I just had an opportunity to be silly and couldn't resist taking it :D

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Posted
If yes, how did it go?

 

Yes.

 

And, IMO, the only reasons to end the other dating relationship before pursuing the new person, is if you two agreed to date exclusively.

 

In the circles I traveled in, while young and dating and among most of my college mates, most dating situations were not meant to be exclusive.

 

Dating is a time of experimentation to figure out what you want in a relationship and from another person.

 

There were a few people, mostly men, IMO, who latched onto a specific date too tightly because they had difficulty getting dates in general. But IMO, that is not healthy.

 

Simply being attracted to someone does not guarantee that it will work out for a long term marriage. Geesh.

 

You SHOULD be dating more than one person, if you are only DATING.

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Posted
With a bit of practice it ends up being easy to manage? :p

 

 

Good point.

 

Yes, dating is just practice for an exclusive relationship. It is not meant to be the one.

 

It's just a date for crikey's sake.

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Posted
If yes, how did it go?

 

Ask anyone who has had an emotional affair. They are worse than physical affairs.

 

Its where your emotions,feelings are invested , people tend to go. Have you ever seen two completely different people together, nothing in common , per say? Well, they connect emotionally.

 

If you find yourself attracted to someone other than your partner, look inside and fill in the gap in your relationship before it turns everyone's life into turmoil.

 

Is a passing or a little crush worth risking your partner ?

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Posted

Me? Yes, once. I ended up having to break off a friendship with a work colleague.

 

The girls who dated me when I was single? Every one of them monkeybranched from me to someone else.

 

I happen to be in this category of men . . . .

 

There were a few people, mostly men, IMO, who latched onto a specific date too tightly because they had difficulty getting dates in general. But IMO, that is not healthy.

 

. . . so my biggest occupational hazard was settling into relationship mode too quickly (or at all).

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Posted

If you're having strong feelings for somebody else, it means that there are problems in your current relationship.

 

You might be aware of those problems, and you might not, but those problems are there.

 

Time for some honest reflection about the health of your current relationship.

 

 

Take care.

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Posted (edited)

No. When I'm with someone I'm focusing on them. Not looking around or noticing others interest in me. From the people I've known that kind of situation occurs because the other person is paying them the attention they are think they're not getting from their partners. But in reality, it's also a case of them no longer paying attention to their partner as well.

 

People tend to allow their focus to drift in life instead of exerting some small measure of control over it. Consequently they claim that 'fate' did this or that. No such thing, they let their attention wander and succumbed to whim.

Edited by Buddhist
  • Like 3
Posted
No. When I'm with someone I'm focusing on them. Not looking around or noticing others interest in me. From the people I've known that kind of situation occurs because the other person is paying them the attention they are think they're not getting from their partners. But in reality, it's also a case of them no longer paying attention to their partner as well.

 

People tend to allow their focus to drift in life instead of exerting some small measure of control over it. Consequently they claim that 'fate' did this or that. No such thing, they let their attention wander and succumbed to whim.

 

Great post^^

 

Water your own grass before you start wondering about other grass...

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Posted

It's called rebounding . . . getting into a relationship with someone else before you have packed up the feelings for an ex and fully prepared to move on.

Posted

I still notice others and find them attractive but I don't take it past that if I'm in a serious monogamous relationship.

 

Now I've been on the other side of this one quite a bit. I've had a lot of married men go after me recently even though I never initiated anything on my side and keep turning them down. I do agree with a lot of them they are probably just trying to mask problems in their marriages.

Posted
well you can practice all you want :psooner or later you will lose focus and then '' BooM '' Scrambled eggs ;)

 

That's true for one egg as well.

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Posted

If you're monogamous, then it's a warning sign (unless it's just a passing crush or minor infatuation that passes), and could signal a serious problem, especially if acted on.

 

 

If you're poly, then it is a whole different scenario, and can lead to good things. So, it basically depends on the kind of relationship(s) you're in and what kinds are suitable for you and your partner(s).

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