JoeSmith357-1 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Sometimes it's so much easier to put things in writing. You can say what you want to express but somehow can't face to face and without leaving anything you did want to say out. Delivering with flowers is a really sweet idea. I agree with this. While in theory, it SHOULD absolutely be said in person. Speaking as a guy who is a bit introverted/shy I can completely get how this guy may be insecure, shy and one of those people that can trip over words, get flustered and emotional very easily. So for him, it might be best to put the complete thoughts in words rather than try to convey it in person and **** it up. I completely get that. He obviously wants you back is the message here...
basil67 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I don't intend to do it via email. I intend to have it delivered w/ flowers. It's from me to her. I just want women's perspective on it and if there is any room for improvement. The talking in person is a great idea. But I don't feel like it is an option at the moment. I'm not going to act on this (yet) if I do it will be in a week or so. If you're not in a frame of mind to speak to her face to face, then you're not ready to ask for another chance. 2
katiegrl Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I agree with Buddhist. This needs to be said in person, not in written form. I actually like the letter idea better! She will read it and allow his words to marinate. She will read it again. And again. And again. When she is ready to respond she will, no pressure, on her own time. Also, he expressed his feelings beautifully in the letter. With nerves etc, who knows how he would come across verbally. Plus a verbal speech like that would come off way too contrived. I say send the letter, it's beautiful.
Gaeta Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I actually like the letter idea better! She will read it and allow his words to marinate. She will read it again. And again. And again. When she is ready to respond she will, no pressure, on her own time. Also, he expressed his feelings beautifully in the letter. With nerves etc, who knows how he would come across verbally. Plus a verbal speech like that would come off way too contrived. I say send the letter, it's beautiful. Yes but she broke up with him and she broke up with him because she needed space. If a woman breaks up with you because she needs space you don't get her back with flowers and letter. That will simply push her further away. OP You need to be NO CONTACT and let her miss you. ETA: And she broke up ONE WEEK AGO. You are shooting yourself in the foot if you send this letter and shooting yourself in both feet if you send it with flowers. 3
Lois_Griffin Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I got to the bi-polar part and thought 'you're a brave, brave man.' But as someone else said, you might want to remove that part. Secondly, if it's true that she only broke up with you a week ago because she needed space, then why are you disrespecting her request and pushing yourself on her?
katiegrl Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Yes but she broke up with him and she broke up with him because she needed space. If a woman breaks up with you because she needs space you don't get her back with flowers and letter. That will simply push her further away. OP You need to be NO CONTACT and let her miss you. ETA: And she broke up ONE WEEK AGO. You are shooting yourself in the foot if you send this letter and shooting yourself in both feet if you send it with flowers. Why did she break up with him though? He said HE went "missing in action"..... which aparrently was the straw that broke the camel's back? I don't know just going by his original post... I will go back and read again but that's what I got. I could be wrong! If he had been suffocating her then yeah he needs to leave her alone, and go contact. But his post is unclear. He could have been the bad guy for all we know and she broke up with him because she deserves better.
katiegrl Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Forget about sending this with flowers. She broke up with you, she is not in a frame of mind to be getting flowers from you. Ask her if you can drop by and speak to her. If she does not want to than accept it's over. He said the breakup was mutual. OP can you clarify a bit more? Why was she unhappy exactly? Did she feel you were suffocating her? Or did she feel you were not giving her enough attention? What did you mean when you said YOU went "missing in action"? Was she trying to reach you and you ignored? Did that happen a lot ?
Gaeta Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 She changed and got distant then asked for a break. This is his last thread dated a week ago. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/585640-we-break
katiegrl Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 (edited) She changed and got distant then asked for a break. This is his last thread dated a week ago. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/585640-we-break I don't usually read history... but okay fair enough. I wish folks wouldn't start a brand new thread about the same situation, it's so confusing! Just pull up the original one and add on! We miss things - relevant info! So frustrating. Edited June 29, 2016 by katiegrl
William Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Threads merged on a similar topic, please excuse any duplicate content and continue the discussion here. Thanks!
LD1990 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Love letters don't work. At best, it looks like you're begging for another chance, which you are, and that's never attractive. Your letter also sounds patronizing in spots, like when you say "I’m sure you’re thoroughly confused at the moment, but my hope is this letter will answer all of you’re questions." Maybe she isn't thoroughly confused, and she just doesn't want to be together anymore. If someone gave me a letter that said "I'm sure you're thoroughly confused," my initial reaction would be "who the hell is this person to tell me I'm confused?" These letters-to-an-ex all tend to fall into the same general pattern - "I'm sorry, I understand everything now, you're awesome, pretty please give me another chance." It's all transparent and unattractive to an ex who doesn't want to be with you anymore.
Author Dork Vader Posted June 30, 2016 Author Posted June 30, 2016 I'm not going to do it, I was just in a frame of mind in which I wanted her back. I still sort of do, but I sort of don't. I have a lot of mixed emotions on it all. But mostly I'm just disappointed that things failed. At the beginning we were so compatible, but she became overly critical of me and it made me scared to be myself around her. That sucked the fun right out of the relationship. Toss in that she made it seem like she needed/wanted structure in the way we saw each other. It turned into a I'll see you on Thursday nights for sure, Saturdays she had the day to herself, sundays I was busy and so on. Now bring in the fact that she asked me to tell her why I liked us and our relationship so I started to do that. I started to really get drained emotionally.
tndawg Posted July 1, 2016 Posted July 1, 2016 What do you expect from her? Have you told her what you expect and what you need in a relationship?
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