wantacleanslate Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Im new here. My partner broke up with me and I am still in love with him and still processing it. I am reading all of your stories and they are full of so much good inspiration. I have cut him off on social media but am really tempted to go online and see what he is up to. Just wondering if you have any suggestions for what got your through the temptation of just having a little peek? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity_84 Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 My suggestion? Do it, look into their SM and find out for yourself that it's absolutely gut-wrenching to see stuff you could've definitely lived without seeing. Or to find out that their lives really aren't all that interesting to begin with. Maybe after that you'll feel no desire to check back on them that way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 For me, I had to peek a few times and not like what I saw to really deter me from doing it. I didn't even see anything all that bad, but when you're so vulnerable, just about anything related to them can make you tense up. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity7 Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Yah, like the others, I was doing it and it got so painful I finally just couldn't take it anymore. When I get a craving to snoop I just think how no good will come of it and how much it'll hurt. No matter what I see, it won't change anything. If they wanted us to be part of their lives, they'd still be with us. Sucks, I know 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Im new here. My partner broke up with me and I am still in love with him and still processing it. I am reading all of your stories and they are full of so much good inspiration. I have cut him off on social media but am really tempted to go online and see what he is up to. Just wondering if you have any suggestions for what got your through the temptation of just having a little peek? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. Sometimes you will fall off the wagon and check, the goal IMO should be to try to make these few and far between and go for as long as you can without. However, often times checking would send me into a spiral of hurt, obsession and overthinking or worse, seeing something that would send me into a panic and I would break NC and send a barrage of messages. Then when I calmed down, or he responded defensively or didn't respond I would feel SO EMBARRASSED and that helped me to learn my lesson to avoid social media stalking. Thinking about how horrible I would feel if I saw things I didn't want to see was a helpful deterrent for me. Also, imagining that my ex would "know" and be smug if I did also helped me to refuse to do it so he wouldn't "win." Also, blocking the person and such helps to make it not as easy to check up. I also had my friend be my accountability buddy where I let her know every time I was tempted and we'd talk about it until the urge passed or she'd talk me down lol. That's another thing. Wait out the urge. It often passes. I would tell myself that if I want to check the page will still exist tomorrow morning, so wait until then, and usually after a night's rest I didn't have the urge anymore...they feel urgent but truth is once you resist usually it passes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wantacleanslate Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 Thank you for the advice.. I resisted temptation and didnt look...yet Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 You just have to trust that no good comes out of searching for something you don't really want to find. I made this mistake time and time again, and while I usually didn't find anything, I was still left feeling tense and uneasy; like narrowly avoiding being hit by a car. Link to post Share on other sites
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