Relationship after relationship ending because of me!??

[Maximboi23]

Hello everyone,

 

I have been using this site on and off since my separation from my ex fiancé over a year and half ago. It was torturous and worst pain I ever felt before and I had my share of breakups. It took me over a year to feel better and recently found out she is married and had a baby, can you believe that!!!

 

Last summer I met someone and fell in love with her instantly. Things were good. She opened up to me about past drug abuse and kinda hit me hard and I moved passed it and still wanted to be with her. We were so close, intimate and caring for eachother. She broke it off saying I asked for too much reassurance and she couldn't deal.

 

We rekindled a few months later and she wasn't same. She would always ask me for favors and drive her places and go to bars everytime I saw her and never were intimite or slept over. She was cold and different and that made me more angry cause all I wanted was what we had. Everytime for 7 months we would fight because I wanted more and she less and no compromise. Everytime I fought with her she would push back. I gave her so much money and helped with medical bills cause she lost insurance. I probably spent thousands now I regret it.

 

I couldn't get over the fact that we were so distant and it didn't feel like a relationship at all. She would barely text me once a day saying her job was buy and she couldn't text and excuse after excuse. Now I know I was being used and it hurt so badly. I haven't talked to her in over a week. I wrote her s long goodbye letter and she never responded. I can't stop thinking of her and how hurt I am by her.

 

I never had a good relationship with anyone. I have a lot of self confidence issues due to a burn on my left side of face, neck and shoulders. I would always hide and be self concious everywhere I go. I look in the mirror and see something horrible and feel low a lot. Lost a lot of my relationships due to my anger and depression.

 

Just feel very sad she's gone and I feel used by her and she doesn't even care. I'm 33 and finally thought after my ex fiancé I found someone I really wanted to be with forever and I got played

[ExpatInItaly]

Hey OP,

 

Sorry you're feeling so down tonight. I believe I have participated in some of your previous threads too. I will say that this most recent girl sounded like trouble from the get-go. This didn't fail because of you - she was a loose cannon from Day 1.

 

Having said that, it sounds like your woman-picker needs an adjustment. You seemingly have quite low self-esteem, which I suspect leads you to believe you can't do better than the type of woman you were most recently involved with. Your perception of yourself is interfering in your judgement of character, and you are thus willing to overlook suspicious behaviour that ultimately hurts you.

 

You mentioned you have issues with anger and depression. Have you sought treatment for this? If you know those problems are seeping into your relationships, it would be well worth addressing those before you attempt dating again.

[bummer]

You're still young. Keep looking but look better with new eyes.

 

Grandpa quote:

"If something bad happens to you but doesn't kill you, yet you continue to act like it did, you might as well be dead."

[Buddhist]

Last summer I met someone and fell in love with her instantly. Things were good.

 

We rekindled a few months later and she wasn't same.

 

When a relationship's broken, it's broken. Things will never return to what they were because the act of being a loving partner is now gone and a differentdynamic has replaced it. Relationships are habit as much as they are anything else. Once we've practiced the habit of seeing our partners in a certain way, a negative way, we can't undo it easily.

 

I never had a good relationship with anyone. I have a lot of self confidence issues due to a burn on my left side of face, neck and shoulders. I would always hide and be self concious everywhere I go. I look in the mirror and see something horrible and feel low a lot. Lost a lot of my relationships due to my anger and depression.

 

Then this is also where your healing will occur. By addressing these things within yourself first.

[Maximboi23]

Thank you everyone for replies. It's just hard to focus on me and move past things. I was in therapy for 11 years and feel like I am same as I started. Some people are incapable of learning from their mistakes and change.