Jolene Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 My bf is a control freak! I like the fact that he is not like my ex, who was inadequate and could not think for himself to save his life. Like, getting his driver's license address updated and things like that. But this new guy wants to get married "if things go well". I can't help noticing how critical and condescending he can be, especially if tired or irritated. What to do? I have told him I won't tolerate being belittled or bossed around. He told me he'd rather speak his mind than brood and ignore me for 4 days. Like he makes sense, but he doesn't. I am not inadequate or incompetent, but he is very dominant and appears to want everything (including the way I raise my son) to be done a certain way. If not, I get to hear about how for example, I should have taken the toy away when the first ball went over the fence to the neighbours yard. So why haven't I done anything about it? (It was his sister's house and she gave him the toy.) He never used to be so bossy and critical. He says he really does love me, though, but when he perceives me to be a nuisance or that action needs to be taken with something, he's gonna speak his mind. Is he an ***hole or what? hard to say, but where do you draw the line, and how often do couples who are married tell each other what to do and how to do it or that they are being "stupid". (nice, huh)
westernxer Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 He's anal retentive alright... in other words, he's an a**hole.
seahorse Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 westernxer is dead right Jolene. He is an a***hole and if I were you I'd kick him so far into touch, he'd take a month of Sundays to get back to the playing field. Ask him where he gets off treating you like a child. You're a grown woman and have your own mind and I have a horrible feeling that he is the sort of controlling personality that would make your life a misery if he ever got a proper foot in the door. Don't marry this guy!! It's a short hop from verbal abuse and bullying to physical because you "didn't do as you were told." (abusers justify this sort of stuff to themselves all the time.) Am I being too extreme? I don't think so.
seahorse Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 He never used to be so bossy and critical. He says he really does love me, though, but when he perceives me to be a nuisance or that action needs to be taken with something, he's gonna speak his mind. Is he an ***hole or what? hard to say, but where do you draw the line, and how often do couples who are married tell each other what to do and how to do it or that they are being "stupid". (nice, huh) Exactly, he's already changed - how much more is he going to change? People who "love" each other do not tell their partners that they are stupid and a nuisance.
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