Girlwithquestions Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 So I met this guy online, well haven't met. He lives in another state, but before you dismiss "long distance" relationships, realize that this is common in my culture and how a lot of my family met. It is kinda common in my culture because sometimes we don't date in the traditional sense, and I'm trying this new approach because why not? I'm open to new ideas. If we click and decide to marry, then one of us moves. Anyway, we've been texting for a few months. It's pretty delayed(probably my own doing), but every 3-6 hours or so. I finally suggested a phone call, he agreed. But we still just keep texting. He never mentions a meet nor does he text sooner. It seems like it's not progressing and I'm just a texting buddy to him or an option. He had mentioned on the phone that he doesn't wanna rush into anything(what a line?) Either way, I kinda diplomatically say that I'm not interested in just texting and that I'm actually looking for something serious and that we should at least meet first to see if we like each other. But I don't know how to say that casually and especially without scaring him off? I don't want to come off super aggressive and mean but I just want to give him the impression in a polite diplomatic way. Ideas?
WhatYouWantToHear Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 It is kinda common in my culture... But does he share your "culture". Let me tell you how guys (regardless of culture) think--we want sex. At best you are sex that is 6 hours away--and probably not even then given your cultural leanings. He wants sex close by. Maybe he wants to marry you in the future and is keeping you around for that after he has his fun. But he knows you aren't the fun girl, so he would rather find someone closer. 1
katiegrl Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Either way, I kinda diplomatically say that I'm not interested in just texting and that I'm actually looking for something serious and that we should at least meet first to see if we like each other. But I don't know how to say that casually and especially without scaring him off? I don't want to come off super aggressive and mean but I just want to give him the impression in a polite diplomatic way. Ideas? If, by chance, I met a guy on line that was long distance and he didn't at least express an interest in meeting .... ideally soon... I would next him. But you are interested, so why don't you say what is bolded above... but WITHOUT the part about you are looking for something serious. Leave that out. Just tell him you are not interesting in just texting, you would like to meet. Soon... If that is not an option for him.... and/or gives excuses....then wish him well and bid him farewell. Smart dating! 2
Author Girlwithquestions Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 Good idea. It's ironic(I think I'm naive but now it's starting to make sense to me), because when we spoke on the phone he told me he would talk to a lot of girls who wanted to get serious/married immediately and he didn't want to do that and that he wasn't going to rush anything. And then also that he's trying to use his phone less because he is so hooked to it hence the delays. Gosh, what a line, why didn't I see this then. I think you guys are right, he's just keeping me as an option, fun texting buddy. I'll ask him outright. If that scares him off, then maybe he wasn't serious to begin with?
Yookie Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Have you tried to at least do a skype session with him? 1
Author Girlwithquestions Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 No, I haven't. Our talking seems too casual to suggest that. I just kinda told him this texting thing is getting old. It's been hours of no reply. I'm assuming he will respond at some point, but his delay already tells me a lot. So, forget him, he's not really serious at all. Wasting my time.
angel.eyes Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 No, you're wasting your own time. Why don't you seek out guys locally?
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