LookAtThisPOst Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 And that isn't stalkerish behaviour at all... The pics on my face book page are well over 100lbs more than I weigh now... but as I don't really want to be followed around by someone who is going to start stalking me or judging me before we have even met I think I will leave them there. I've seen women guilty of it as well. In fact, on that question o OK Cupid where they ask, "Do you Google somebody before going out with them?" A lot of them chose, "Yes, knowledge is power!"
scorpiogirl Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 And that isn't stalkerish behaviour at all... The pics on my face book page are well over 100lbs more than I weigh now... but as I don't really want to be followed around by someone who is going to start stalking me or judging me before we have even met I think I will leave them there. I googled you and I searched "Toodaloo" on FB. I just knew there was something up with you just showing your eyes. Not even a proper headshot! Sheer laziness. OP, for future reference, don't contact her a second time. If she wanted you to stay in touch she would've made sure to give you her info before she deleted the profile. Who knows why she did it. 1
Toodaloo Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I've seen women guilty of it as well. In fact, on that question o OK Cupid where they ask, "Do you Google somebody before going out with them?" A lot of them chose, "Yes, knowledge is power!" Oh well that makes it all all right then. Let the stalking begin. Hang on while I just make sure - it was OK Cupid you say? Let me make sure I deleted and didn't just hide the profile all those months ago... I googled you and I searched "Toodaloo" on FB. I just knew there was something up with you just showing your eyes. Not even a proper headshot! Sheer laziness. OP, for future reference, don't contact her a second time. If she wanted you to stay in touch she would've made sure to give you her info before she deleted the profile. Who knows why she did it. Erm that picture isn't on my facebook... You are also highly unlikely to find me unless you know one of my friends... I have my privacy settings pretty high... OP I agree with SG. Just let it go. It doesn't matter the reason just let it go. 1
J21 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 So roughly 2 months me and this girl started chatting on Okcupid we exchanged about 30 messages I asked her out and she agreed. I then asked if I could add her on Facebook just to make sure she was real or not. She replied with no we should keep it on this for now I said that was fine we said our goodnights. Well in the morning I wake up to find her account deleted I thought oh well another one bites the dust. So fast forward to last night she came up again in the new users section under a different profile. So I thought it was harmless to to welcome her back and ask why she disappeared last time. Me: Welcome back So what have you been up to? you disappeared last time before we could go out for milkshakes Her: Hey yeah sorry Didn't feel like it was for me but I did meet someone today, sorry And BOOM she's gone again this time i'm 99% sure she blocked me yet I felt my message was completely harmless. Just for future advice i'm guessing this is something you should not do? Did you actually meet her after setting up the date? and 30 messages in a span of 2 months? Chances are she wasn't that interested if that was the pace. 1
kendahke Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I've seen women guilty of it as well. In fact, on that question o OK Cupid where they ask, "Do you Google somebody before going out with them?" A lot of them chose, "Yes, knowledge is power!" I google profiles to make sure they aren't on 10 other dating sites with 25 other profiles on said site. You'd be stunned at how many fake profiles there are, both male and female. That's the easiest way to cull the herd of catfish on OKC. Then I do google image searches of their pictures to make sure they haven't stolen pictures of other people... Any grown a$$ 50+ yr old who can't write proper English gets deleted and blocked, too, especially if they are educated beyond a BA/BS and they don't know their way around modal verbs at their age.
kismetkismet Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 i don't think what you did is necessarily CREEPY. But personally I often don't even add guys that I'm dating that I met in real life for the first couple of months. I don't really like facebook or the fact that suddenly they can know so many details about your whole life in an hour of creeping. Plus I personally don't like that I can access all of that.. I don't really want to see photos of exes or know what his sister and mother look like before we've even gone on a 5th date (let alone no dates at all). I would be even more reluctant with online dating because you don't know these guys.. you can glean a lot of information from facebook if you're creepy enough. Find out where they live(ish), work, vacation, the names of all the people in your life.. it's just way too personal. That said, I think it's funny that she deleted her whole profile over it. I'd have just said no and moved on.. You maybe should have picked up on the fact that she didn't want to talk to you when she suddenly had a whole new profile, so it might have freaked her out that you found the new profile so quickly and messaged her when you'd think it was a pretty clear sign. Either way I don't think it's a big deal and I'd just move on from it, but in future just know that there are a lot of people that don't want to share their whole lives/family/friends etc. with someone they haven't met yet. I'd hold off on asking for that until at least after you've met.
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 i don't think what you did is necessarily CREEPY. But personally I often don't even add guys that I'm dating that I met in real life for the first couple of months. I don't really like facebook or the fact that suddenly they can know so many details about your whole life in an hour of creeping. Plus I personally don't like that I can access all of that.. I don't really want to see photos of exes or know what his sister and mother look like before we've even gone on a 5th date (let alone no dates at all). I would be even more reluctant with online dating because you don't know these guys.. you can glean a lot of information from facebook if you're creepy enough. Find out where they live(ish), work, vacation, the names of all the people in your life.. it's just way too personal. That said, I think it's funny that she deleted her whole profile over it. I'd have just said no and moved on.. You maybe should have picked up on the fact that she didn't want to talk to you when she suddenly had a whole new profile, so it might have freaked her out that you found the new profile so quickly and messaged her when you'd think it was a pretty clear sign. Either way I don't think it's a big deal and I'd just move on from it, but in future just know that there are a lot of people that don't want to share their whole lives/family/friends etc. with someone they haven't met yet. I'd hold off on asking for that until at least after you've met. There had been a couple of times on OK Cupid that each time I got the woman's number, they had taken off their profile a couple days later. Not sure why, but it's usually the first sign of them ghosting. After that, they stop responding to calls/texts. It's kind of like "Why give me your # if you're going to delete your profile?" I find it odd that one person that they are corresponding with would cause them to delete an old profile just to create a new one. 1
Felltoohard Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I do not think it is that creepy to add on fb someone met online. Not any creeper than actually meeting someone without not knowing if they even are who they say they are. Yes, you could have asked her maybe in a different way, but as someone else said, she would have faded anyways. My guess is she lied on something. Maybe she's married, has kids, or looks completely different from what she said. I know fb is an open door to someone's life, but we decide what part of life we want to share. Honestly before going on a date with someone met online (tinder) if I can I check their fb. More than once I found out by myself that they were married or had kids. All stuff they didn't mention in chat. Try and find someone else, from what you said she wasn't worth it
preraph Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I don't think what you did was creepy, but since she's the one who deleted her account (and you don't know why), then she's the one who should have gotten back in touch with you if she was interested. But no, not creepy, just hopeful. Giving her the benefit of the doubt. She probably had too many guys she didn't want to deal with on the line and you were only one of them. Or maybe she's not at all who she says she is, too.
PogoStick Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Who cares what that girl thinks. She flaked. Move on and waste no more energy thinking about her. Next time, ask a girl out much sooner!
Teknoe Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Definitely agree with others who said it's not creepy but you definitely made a bad decision by asking for her FB before meeting. That's just way too much. Gotta go on good faith... at worst it's a bust but you can bolt after half an hour to an hour. Good lesson for the future though. Each "dating experience" is a chance to tweak and learn what to do and what not to do.
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