4x4storm Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 So roughly 2 months me and this girl started chatting on Okcupid we exchanged about 30 messages I asked her out and she agreed. I then asked if I could add her on Facebook just to make sure she was real or not. She replied with no we should keep it on this for now I said that was fine we said our goodnights. Well in the morning I wake up to find her account deleted I thought oh well another one bites the dust. So fast forward to last night she came up again in the new users section under a different profile. So I thought it was harmless to to welcome her back and ask why she disappeared last time. Me: Welcome back So what have you been up to? you disappeared last time before we could go out for milkshakes Her: Hey yeah sorry Didn't feel like it was for me but I did meet someone today, sorry And BOOM she's gone again this time i'm 99% sure she blocked me yet I felt my message was completely harmless. Just for future advice i'm guessing this is something you should not do?
Buddhist Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 She probably has personal details on her FB account that she quite rightly does not want to give out to any random she's met on a dating site. And your crass way of saying it's to check out if she's 'real' is a brilliant way of coming across as an arse. Congratulations! I would have disappeared on you too. Creepy? Probably not. But seriously lacking in any kind of social grace, hell yeah. Who wants to go on a date with that? 7
Author 4x4storm Posted June 28, 2016 Author Posted June 28, 2016 She probably has personal details on her FB account that she quite rightly does not want to give out to any random she's met on a dating site. And your crass way of saying it's to check out if she's 'real' is a brilliant way of coming across as an arse. Congratulations! I would have disappeared on you too. Creepy? Probably not. But seriously lacking in any kind of social grace, hell yeah. Who wants to go on a date with that? Ahh because last bloody time someone didn't let me add them on facebook the date was so bad I actually had to a runner. I want to know who i'm getting involved with I stand by that.
Buddhist Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Ahh because last bloody time someone didn't let me add them on facebook the date was so bad I actually had to a runner. I want to know who i'm getting involved with I stand by that. Fair enough, just find a nicer way to express it. One that doesn't make you sound a lot off-putting.
lolablue17 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 If you torture yourself every time a girl will act wierd, especially on dating apps, you won't get very far. This is the kind of girls online dating sites sometime create: People who tries to show apathetic behavior, indifference attitude, and generally give a s**t about guys who they are in contact.
brothers343 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I don't think it was a big deal at all. Some People have 500 friends and they only know 20.....its kind of funny. I wouldn't even bother worrying about this to much.Good luck
Larryville Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 There are already enough creepy people out there, women should be vigilant and be as careful as possible… Arizona Authorities Say 3 Missing Women Met Same Man Online Arizona Authorities Say 3 Missing Women Met Same Man Online - ABC News and this Mom of woman found dead warns of online dating | 12NEWS.com Plus I still absolutely don’t get why anyone would add a complete stranger to Facebook… better yet why even ask anyway. Some People have 500 friends and they only know 20… Yes and that is a much deeper and troubling issue as well. People scream about privacy meanwhile leaving their proverbial personal front door unlocked and opened. World full of too many crazy @$$ people to not take seriously. 5
Toodaloo Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Sorry (actually no I am not) but there is no way in hell I am letting some random guy I haven't met off a dating website have my facebook... I don't have many facebook friends for the simple reason my private life is private thanks! So wrong. You are also blaming the past on your future by refusing unless you see their facebook. Not every woman is the same so deal with it. You either want to meet them or you don't. If you don't and you have to check out how "hot" they are on facebook then something is very wrong. 5
joseb Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Don't add anyone you plan to date on facebook. It's a bad idea for a lot of reasons. You will know soon enough if she is real if you arrange a date. And always do that sooner rather than later. 3
elaine567 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 It all depends what they use Facebook for. If you friend request someone who has 5 close friends and the rest are close relatives posting baby pics and actual holiday snaps, then that isn't going to go down too well, but if you friend request someone who has hundreds/thousands of "friends" associated with a hobby or interest they may have, then adding you is no big deal as there is nothing really personal on there. Here she already turned you down, and despite making an effort to exclude you by taking down her whole account, you find her again and "demand" she takes notice of you. It is all a bit scary. 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 So roughly 2 months me and this girl started chatting on Okcupid we exchanged about 30 messages I asked her out and she agreed. I then asked if I could add her on Facebook just to make sure she was real or not. She replied with no we should keep it on this for now I said that was fine we said our goodnights. Well in the morning I wake up to find her account deleted I thought oh well another one bites the dust. So fast forward to last night she came up again in the new users section under a different profile. So I thought it was harmless to to welcome her back and ask why she disappeared last time. Me: Welcome back So what have you been up to? you disappeared last time before we could go out for milkshakes Her: Hey yeah sorry Didn't feel like it was for me but I did meet someone today, sorry And BOOM she's gone again this time i'm 99% sure she blocked me yet I felt my message was completely harmless. Just for future advice i'm guessing this is something you should not do? It probably had nothing to do with you asking about Facebook, she said no, and you respected that and didn't push. In fact, I'm sure she would have done what she did anyways whether or not you addressed connecting on FB. Her flaking on you then reappearing had nothing to do with that. In fact, it's happened to me a few times on OK Cupid, even got as far as far as the woman's actual phone #. They are just time wasters/cat fishers that have nothing else better to do. you find her again and "demand" she takes notice of you. It is all a bit scary. "Demand"? He said nothing of the sort when he posted about this.
kendahke Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 So roughly 2 months me and this girl started chatting on Okcupid we exchanged about 30 messages I asked her out and she agreed. I then asked if I could add her on Facebook just to make sure she was real or not. She replied with no we should keep it on this for now I said that was fine we said our goodnights. Well in the morning I wake up to find her account deleted I thought oh well another one bites the dust. So fast forward to last night she came up again in the new users section under a different profile. So I thought it was harmless to to welcome her back and ask why she disappeared last time. Me: Welcome back So what have you been up to? you disappeared last time before we could go out for milkshakes Her: Hey yeah sorry Didn't feel like it was for me but I did meet someone today, sorry And BOOM she's gone again this time i'm 99% sure she blocked me yet I felt my message was completely harmless. Just for future advice i'm guessing this is something you should not do? I wouldn't ask to be anyone's Facebook friend until after I'd met them and decided I wanted them to be one of my friends. But you're wanting access to a very private area of not only her life but the lives of those who are close to her AND YOU ARE A STRANGER. So yeah, she was right in telling you "no". The time to ascertain if she is real or not is your first in person meeting. If she doesn't show or she cancels, then that means she's not interested. She didn't owe you anything because there was nothing but interest on your half and that's not enough hold sway over anything but how you proceed. 1
ChocolateRain Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 OP ... i was on OKC for about 4 weeks and blocked around 25 men in two weeks . i dont know how most women approach men on dating sites but i know how most men approached me and it was often upsetting . Maybe normal for men to talk a certain way to strangers but it aint normal for me Read .... Dear T, Your profile has really appealed to me. Why do not just be my goddess? My name is R... and I live very idyllic in 2.... S...... As CEO of a 20-MA company I am professionally engaged dominant and with much fun and top-intelligent . All this makes it but not easier to find a suitable wife. Women feel uncomfortable with me unfortunately sometimes neglected when they not be interested in my various projects or I can not take you to another world: There it would be nice to turn the head, to place you my paradise atmosphere at your feet, to serve involuntarily as "goddess" and to feel their power thereby. It would be nice to kiss your feet, touching them and maybe more, if you allows it perhaps I may spoil them by kissing and caressing, not by sports F***ing, but there are Vibrators in all variations ... maybe you do it well, controls my masturbation, maybe you asks for more ... To demonstrate your power ... I am a very nice guy (almost too good for this world) I'm not married, have no children and no contamination. I am not selfish and therefore was never jealous. I am very happy in myself, and therefore would like to share my happiness, Spend time with an interesting and open woman in which both find fulfillment ... Nothing has, however, much can develop it ... I would be very happy if you touch my thoughts ... Dear greetings R.... in my profile i never mention anything about sexual preference and i wouldnt . i have asked 3 individuals to check out my profile and pics to be assured that it was just a normal everyday profile ... OLD is not for me it's just a waste of time to wait for that 0.0000001 % 3
booboomane Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Ah, with so much catfishing going on, you can never be too sure. Who knows, she may be real and got offended you asked, but any person that is down to earth and reasonable should be fine with proving they are who they say they are. I met a girl on pof once. Her profile said 28 but she looked 17. We were texting and i polietly asked her to send a picture (not dirty) and she sent me a picture that was already on her profile. She only had three. When i brought that up she flipped and said she didnt have time to send other pictures yada yada. Thats all i needed right there. #byefelicia
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 OP ... i was on OKC for about 4 weeks and blocked around 25 men in two weeks . i dont know how most women approach men on dating sites but i know how most men approached me and it was often upsetting . Maybe normal for men to talk a certain way to strangers but it aint normal for me Read .... Dear T, Your profile has really appealed to me. Why do not just be my goddess? My name is R... and I live very idyllic in 2.... S...... As CEO of a 20-MA company I am professionally engaged dominant and with much fun and top-intelligent . All this makes it but not easier to find a suitable wife. Women feel uncomfortable with me unfortunately sometimes neglected when they not be interested in my various projects or I can not take you to another world: There it would be nice to turn the head, to place you my paradise atmosphere at your feet, to serve involuntarily as "goddess" and to feel their power thereby. It would be nice to kiss your feet, touching them and maybe more, if you allows it perhaps I may spoil them by kissing and caressing, not by sports F***ing, but there are Vibrators in all variations ... maybe you do it well, controls my masturbation, maybe you asks for more ... To demonstrate your power ... I am a very nice guy (almost too good for this world) I'm not married, have no children and no contamination. I am not selfish and therefore was never jealous. I am very happy in myself, and therefore would like to share my happiness, Spend time with an interesting and open woman in which both find fulfillment ... Nothing has, however, much can develop it ... I would be very happy if you touch my thoughts ... Dear greetings R.... in my profile i never mention anything about sexual preference and i wouldnt . i have asked 3 individuals to check out my profile and pics to be assured that it was just a normal everyday profile ... OLD is not for me it's just a waste of time to wait for that 0.0000001 % I about spit out my coffee when that one said "contamination" LOL. I mean, I've seen women say in their profiles that they are "disease free", but "contamination"? LOL I'm thinking of a hazmat suit somewhere in the picture. 1
kendahke Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Ah, with so much catfishing going on, you can never be too sure. Who knows, she may be real and got offended you asked, but any person that is down to earth and reasonable should be fine with proving they are who they say they are. I met a girl on pof once. Her profile said 28 but she looked 17. We were texting and i polietly asked her to send a picture (not dirty) and she sent me a picture that was already on her profile. She only had three. When i brought that up she flipped and said she didnt have time to send other pictures yada yada. Thats all i needed right there. #byefelicia You can catch a catfish by insisting upon an in-person meeting by the end of the week. They will either decline, or they will cancel the meeting. But seriously--it's the chance you take on OLD. No one has to provide you with anything--you're not the government. You either go with it or you don't, but you're not owed. 3
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 There's actually a round-about way to find someone's Facebook profile, without directly asking them. But they have to use like their first name in their dating profile screen name. Some do this and if you know the city, that's all you need. Granted you'll sometimes may not find them, and other instances you may. The last woman I went out with, though it was rather common name, it was easy to find someone in a smaller town. Just don't interact with them that way. You can confirm those head shots on whether or not shes a big girl on her FB page. lol If you can't find them, then oh well proceed as normal.
Larryville Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 CR, I mentioned this in a post some time ago but I was at a get together woman I was dating and her friends. We were discussing OLD and long story short ALL of the women at this get together conveyed what you did. Several allowed me to read some exchanges from men and I was absolutely stunned at what I read from these men and all were mid 40’s and above. The tone of the conversations were extraordinarily juvenile and downright stupid. I thought it was a joke but it profoundly changed how I viewed OLD because I realized that I’m not just battling trying to meet the right person, battling the other dudes vying for the same woman, I’m battling the complete disintegration of a good chunk of my gender and an idiotic society. Having said that, it is NOT just OLD it is humanity overall, people suck and if I’m engaging OLD genuinely trying to meet someone I know a lot of women are tuning out because some many dudes are just stupid and creepy. So the next thread started where a dude laments not getting replies on OLD need to remember the lack of replies from women are not just about “you” sad state we are in. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 CR, I mentioned this in a post some time ago but I was at a get together woman I was dating and her friends. We were discussing OLD and long story short ALL of the women at this get together conveyed what you did. Several allowed me to read some exchanges from men and I was absolutely stunned at what I read from these men and all were mid 40’s and above. The tone of the conversations were extraordinarily juvenile and downright stupid. I thought it was a joke but it profoundly changed how I viewed OLD because I realized that I’m not just battling trying to meet the right person, battling the other dudes vying for the same woman, I’m battling the complete disintegration of a good chunk of my gender and an idiotic society. Having said that, it is NOT just OLD it is humanity overall, people suck and if I’m engaging OLD genuinely trying to meet someone I know a lot of women are tuning out because some many dudes are just stupid and creepy. So the next thread started where a dude laments not getting replies on OLD need to remember the lack of replies from women are not just about “you” sad state we are in. Larry, what's even more upsetting is some of these women complain IN their profiles (too MANY to count) about the kinds of email they've been getting. One went a 3 paragraph tirade on the peversness of the emails she's been receiving, even to the point of copy/pasting them TO her profile write-up. But yet, I send a positive, polite email to these very women, but get ignored.
Larryville Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 LATP: yes you are correct, I see this as well I honestly don’t get this behavior. However usually the women who do engage in profile rants are not going to be someone you would want to meet anyway. Because once they start using an OLD site as some social justice platform you can’t go back. I just kinda believe you get back what you put into life. Yes men are idiots but don’t let idiocrasy bring you down. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 LATP: yes you are correct, I see this as well I honestly don’t get this behavior. However usually the women who do engage in profile rants are not going to be someone you would want to meet anyway. Because once they start using an OLD site as some social justice platform you can’t go back. I just kinda believe you get back what you put into life. Yes men are idiots but don’t let idiocrasy bring you down. Right, it's usually the long time, bitter veterans on this site that remain permanent fixtures there. I've seen some announce, "I'm back again, things didn't work last time , so I'm trying again" I recall emailing some of these women last year, and I just shake my head. I'm in agreement, "Back for some more punishment from the pervs, eh?" lol 1
ChocolateRain Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 CR, I mentioned this in a post some time ago but I was at a get together woman I was dating and her friends. We were discussing OLD and long story short ALL of the women at this get together conveyed what you did. Several allowed me to read some exchanges from men and I was absolutely stunned at what I read from these men and all were mid 40’s and above. The tone of the conversations were extraordinarily juvenile and downright stupid. I thought it was a joke but it profoundly changed how I viewed OLD because I realized that I’m not just battling trying to meet the right person, battling the other dudes vying for the same woman, I’m battling the complete disintegration of a good chunk of my gender and an idiotic society. Having said that, it is NOT just OLD it is humanity overall, people suck and if I’m engaging OLD genuinely trying to meet someone I know a lot of women are tuning out because some many dudes are just stupid and creepy. So the next thread started where a dude laments not getting replies on OLD need to remember the lack of replies from women are not just about “you” sad state we are in. wish i could triple like your post !!! And i agree it is humanity ...
ChocolateRain Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 But yet, I send a positive, polite email to these very women, but get ignored. i can even understand this frustration and sometimes i have gotten messages that i never answered because at some point it gets tiring . i have had very good conversations sometimes for weeks until he drops the bomb and asks '' you know why women get upset with me '' ??? Because i end up showing them my D*ck .... ??? At this point one really gives up replying ...
Toodaloo Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 There's actually a round-about way to find someone's Facebook profile, without directly asking them. But they have to use like their first name in their dating profile screen name. Some do this and if you know the city, that's all you need. Granted you'll sometimes may not find them, and other instances you may. The last woman I went out with, though it was rather common name, it was easy to find someone in a smaller town. Just don't interact with them that way. You can confirm those head shots on whether or not shes a big girl on her FB page. lol If you can't find them, then oh well proceed as normal. And that isn't stalkerish behaviour at all... The pics on my face book page are well over 100lbs more than I weigh now... but as I don't really want to be followed around by someone who is going to start stalking me or judging me before we have even met I think I will leave them there. 3
TooLegitToQuit Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I'm wondering what you were doing chatting w her for a *whole 2 months* on OKC in the first place. Why didn't you just get her phone number and meet her in person. That I think was your biggest mistake here. 3
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