Dumped by BF as he suddenly developed feelings fo ex

[vsah]

My boyfriend has just dumped me after 18 months together, we never argued or had any disagreements, we were both happy and in love.

 

We went away on holiday together and it was wonderful! Our sex life has still been great, in fact better than ever and he's been all over me and the instigater.

 

We came back and again had a couple of wonderful days at mine, it was perfect, like we were living together and it was so natural. He went home on the Friday, he lives about 1hr 30 minutes away. We spoke on the phone in the morning on my way to work whilst he drove him, we text at lunch and then spoke again on my walk to the station as we do everyday. On the journey home I got a text saying we needed to talk about the future as we'd previously discussed living together or at least being closer. He then told be he was struggling as he had developed feelings for his ex. The ex he was referring to he was with over 3 years ago and it lasted 2 months before she dumped him owing to workloads. She also works at the school next door and she comes over a couple of times a year to his school. He told me though even though he'd seen her before he didn't have feelings for her at all, it was just now there was a spark. He assured me though that when he was with me particularly when we had sex he was completely with me and she didn't enter his head.

 

I was upset but I knew how happy he was with me and I asked him if he still saw his future with me. He said yes. I hoped they would go away, he'd seen her before when he was with me and just said it was awkward and they were civil but nothing more, he was with me. I thought maybe he was just scared as we were getting really serious. I offered him time to clear his head, he then said he chose me. The feelings didn't go away though and so I said maybe we shouldn't speak for a week hoping that he would miss me. He didn't want that, he said he still wanted messages just maybe less. I agreed and we both struggled and said we missed and loved each other everyday.

 

We went to Coldplay on Saturday, I'd already said to him I couldn't be physical with him whilst he had feelings for her but he'd assured me we were still a couple, he wasn't breaking up with me. We had a lovely lunch together and checked in to our hotel, that's when he started wanting my clothes off. I stopped him and said if we do this I need to know you've picked me, no going back. He looked me in the eye and said yes. We then had the best sex we've ever had, he couldn't get enough. We had a lovely evening, kisses each other goodbye and everything was great.

 

Following that all last week he was still texting me that he loved me and Tuesday said he couldn't wait to see me on Saturday when we were going to the theatre, he said he was horny and picturing me naked. Then Thursday night unusually we missed each other saying goodnight, we both can track each other and we've always trusted each other, I was out for dinner with family and he said he was going out with a few from work which was perfectly normal for him. I didn't get to talk to him much on Friday, just texts but still saying he loved me but he also said it was a sad day and I thought we were talking about something else. I spoke to him on my way home and he seemed tired. He then text me when I was home to say he was upset. I was worried what had happened and called him.

 

He said he couldn't be with me anymore not while he had feelings for her, his gut was telling him to try things with her. He'd seen her Monday night and rol her he had feelings for her and she was shocked. He then saw her Thursday night at her house again and she told him she liked him too and they kissed. Then he broke up with me the next night.

 

It was so sudden as again we were both so happy and he agreed that no one could love him like I did and that he was taking a huge risk.

 

The thing is about him is that he works a full time job and does a lot of freelance work at weekends too, the only reason we worked is that I made sure we had weekends together and fitted things around his work commitments.

 

He hasn't told her he was still sleeping with me, still picturing me naked and telling me he loved me everyday and if it were me I would run a mile. She knew about me when they went for a drink in May and he told her he was with me right at the start and they were reminiscing. I don't know why he thinks things will work this time or why he's throwing his happy relationship with me away for this. I don't know if its commitment issues or the fact that she dumped him last time and he hadn't got closure but they were only together for 2 months so I just can't understand it. I'm completely devastated and been really poorly, I've been signed off work for 3 weeks as I can't keep food and have no appetite. He says he feels awful but he can't be with me and I won't be sloppy seconds. I'm an awesome girlfriend and I'm happy and bubbly and thoughtful. He said attraction isn't the issue, it's never been that and he's always found me very attractive and he said yes he did find her attractive. I've accepted he's picked her but I just wish he'd wake up and come to his senses before it's too late. I still love him but I won't beg and their whole relationship will be based on hurt and lies. I don't even think she cares for him that much, you know whether you love or have feelings for someone instinctively, you don't have to go away and think about them.

 

I think he's emotionally checked out now and focusing on her which I'm struggling with. I've agreed we need space and we are not going to contact each other, I'm actually going out of the country to get away but part of me is desperately hoping he will miss me like I'm missing him and come back begging me. He was my best friend and I was his. I think he's just blocking everything out and yet I can't. I can't wait for him and if he sleeps with her I'm not sure I could ever touch him again. I'm just heartbroken right now and trying to get well again.

Edited June 28, 2016 by vsah

[ExpatInItaly]

Wow, I'm sorry you're experiencing this OP.

 

I have a feeling they'd been in much closer contact than you knew, and that it had been going on a while. While it feels sudden to you, I would put my money on the fact they'd been seeing each other more frequently than he let on.

 

For him to throw away 1.5-year relationship for someone he dated for 60 days three years ago - unfortunately, that says a lot about his character. He has been harboring something for her the whole time, even if he didn't acknowledge it.

 

It sound to me that he was trying to keep up appearances with you but wad already backing out of the relationship. He probably didn't know exactly how she felt about him so he claimed to have "chosen" you. When he found out she felt the same way, he went in that direction.

 

I really feel for you. I have been in a similar position, many years ago. It's very hurtful. I also wanted him to come back - at first. Then I slowly started realizing he had been deceiving me for a while and I could never entertain the thought of being with him again. I know it hurts like hell right now; vent here. Cry when you need to. You deserve so much better.

[vsah]

I don't think he's been dating both of us, the amount of time he spends on the phone to me or facetiming plus his work, he just wouldn't have the time plus I can track his phone so I know where he is and all of his work stuff is in my calendar. He also introduced me to all the people he works with and I was at his family's house for Christmas arranged all his surprise 30th birthday treats. He's only ever brought two people back to meet his family and I'm one of them and I've seen them multiple times.

 

I asked for the whole truth and he told me about going for a drink once in May but that was it and he saw her at work just before we went to Venice. He told me he thought of her once when we were there just when we arrived and were walking but the rest of the time he was totally with me.

 

The thing is this girl dumped him and has been in other relationships, she's been single for a year and not been knocking on his door and shown no signs of wanting him back. She's 30 at least and clearly he's there saying he had feelings for her, she's thought about it and then gone why not. I hate that I don't even think she cares and I'm sure she could easily dump him again. He assures me he hasn't been thinking about her when we were together, it was only may she got in his head and he can't let go. He said it felt like unfinished business and he didn't get closure.

 

The problem is that she's so close and I feel so far so it's a lot easier for him to try to push me out rather than her but we have so many good memories, I don't have any bad ones.

 

I know he's ashamed though, he hasn't even called his mum back and he lied to his best friend and pretended on Saturday he was still going to theatre with me and had to leave early and went to our hotel where we always stay and were meant to be that night and was there on his own all night.

 

That's what I think has happened. I thought she would have moved on but now she's given him the green light he's made the decision. I know this is all on him but how could she kiss him and encourage him knowing he was with me. I would never have done that.

 

We've always had such open communication and everyone thought we'd be getting engaged soon. He was the one who asked me to leave more things at his and wanted to live with me. I'm just so crushed and shocked.

 

I wondered if he was having a breakdown because he's had a lot going on or if he was freaking out as we got more serious.

 

It's just hard to move on when he says he still loves me and his head says to be with me but his heart is telling him to try with her.

 

He'd said he hoped the feelings would go away but they haven't and he couldn't do it to me at a later date as we had so much planned for the summer.

 

It's so out of character, he's usually very cautious and considered. He doesn't make rash decisions and this feels like it.

 

He said he may be about to make the biggest mistake he's ever made and he'll have to live with that

Edited June 28, 2016 by vsah

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to keep in mind that all you know about her is what he has told you which is probably not the whole truth. She might not even know you were still together when they kissed. I know you very much want to believe his version of events but they don't add up, really. And if she did know about you, she obviously didn't care. And neither did he. You will learn as you get older that people often behave selfishly.

 

I don't necessarily mean he was going on dates with her but he was obviously in contact with her. There's no way any of this could have happened if he wasn't.

 

The important take-away from this is that he claims to have met her once in May, and that was all it took for him to "need closure." (Did you know they were going to meet, by the way?) I hope you don't actually buy that - this isn't about closure. it's quite the opposite. He's going to attempt a relationship with her. He threw away what you had. Let him feel the consequences. Don't be embarrassed to tell people the truth when they ask where he is. Don't protect him.

 

Someday you will see that a guy who already has one foot out the door (which he clearly did) is not worth one more moment of your time. It will be hard for a while, but you need to go No Contact. Delete him from all social media, block his number. Don't be around to be his Plan B if this new girl doesn't work out.

Edited June 28, 2016 by ExpatInItaly

[Sunnymae]

I think he was genuinely looking to making it work with you, but now that his ex is back in the picture he changed his mind, it's not right, and it's selfish. This guy doesn't seem to have much of a conscious. What he's doing is not right. You should consider it no loss that he's back with his ex. Sounds like they deserve each other. I'm sure he did enjoy being with you, still doesn't excuse his callous attitude about leaving you to go back with his ex that dumped him. "He said he still wanted message maybe less" sounds like he wants his cake and eat it to. Are you okay with this? I'm afraid you're going to come out hurt from this situation. It sounds like she found out about him texting you and gave him an ultimatum, and he made his choice. He sounds like he really doesn't care about your feelings just is looking out for himself.

Take care

Edited June 28, 2016 by Sunnymae

[vsah]

I think he was trying to and I know how happy I made him and how in love with me he was. When he left mine he would call 5 minutes after leaving and we would end up talking the whole journey home. He was always calling and texting.

 

I think that's exactly what's happened, she's said yes and now he really can't get closure. I asked him what would have happened if she'd said no and he said he would have told me and had to have got over them, and I asked still been with me and he said yes.

 

The stupid thing is when he found out how ill I've been, literally have hardly eaten since Friday lunch as I keep being sick and then I hardly slept he offered to call when my mum told him I was in a bad way. I actually threw up whilst on the phone and he was genuinely worried and wanting me to get better. I've been signed off work for 3 weeks and given something to relax me as I was so exhausted and my mind wouldn't shut off but I want to get better for me, not to ease his conscience and help him feel less guilty.

 

I said to him how can he even consider being with her when he still has feelings for me and he said I don't know.

 

I said he should go home and be on his own without either of us and clear his head. That way he doesn't have either of us around swaying him.

 

Last night when we were texting at first we were reminiscing which was actually really nice but then we talked about the situation and I said I accepted it and I know he's chosen her and I wouldn't beg him. That my conscience was clear which is more than I could say for theirs. He said we were going around in circles and we needed space and I agreed so I said I wouldn't call or text, not even if I was really ill or something was wrong and he said he would want to know and he still cares. I said how could that work, he either wants contact or he doesn't. I also asked him last night if he'd cut me out if he was with her properly and he said he'd have to.

 

I haven't text him since last night and now he's just text me saying it's so odd without me, we'd always text at lunch time which is right now. I haven't responded to him and I'm not going to but I'm glad he's at least thinking of me as stupid as that is.

 

I also asked if she gave him an ultimatum that Thursday night and he said no, but she said she liked him too, they kissed and he then felt guilty and broke it off the next day whilst sobbing down the phone. I think he couldn't deal with the guilt, he said he'd had a restless night that night and that's before I knew what was coming.

Edited June 28, 2016 by vsah

[Densel]

Before me and my ex girlfriend parted ways, she told me she like someone else. I did some questionings and she told me she can't be liking 2 person at the same time.

 

And so i left. I never look back.

 

Does he really know what he want??

Has he told you he will give her up?

[stillafool]

This woman must have been someone he really wanted during that time and when she broke up with him after 2 months he never got over her. I too think he was in contact with her in some way while he was with you. I do think he loves you but was still IN love with her. I'm sure he hates that he's hurt you but the heart wants what the heart wants.

[vsah]

The problem is I don't think he knows what he wants. He chose me multiple times and was happy with me, we've never had any problems apart from trying to resolve the distance issue. But then he chose her and feels like he's made his decision. He told me he needed space and everyone told me the same, let him miss me and I think he now is.

 

If I'm totally honest I would take him back right now if he could give me assurances he wouldn't flip flop again and try to move closer to me as right now I couldn't consider moving there knowing she's nearby. I want him to fight for me though. If though he went and had a full relationship with her then I'm not sure I could even consider it as the trust would be ruined and I don't deserve to be treated like this. I know I deserve better, I know I'm stronger than him mentally but stupidly I still love him and I think he still loves me, he's just got himself into such a mess and she's the easy option as she's nearby.

 

I know he wasn't round her house before, when he's at the pub I know because he tells me and I try not to bother him so I'll check if he's still there but usually as soon as he leaves he calls me. He told me he wasn't in love with her but there was just a spark that hadn't been there when he saw her earlier on in our relationship at work.

 

I hate that he's done this, my face is still all over his Facebook page, I'm still his cover photo, he hasn't stopped the tracker so I can still see where he is even though I've stopped him.

 

There's so many mixed messages

Edited June 28, 2016 by vsah

[stillafool]

I find it hard to believe that a man would leave the woman that he loves for an ex he just felt a "spark" for when he saw her again. He's lying because he doesn't want to hurt you. He's in love with her. You are doing right to go NC to force him to make a choice and stick with it. Of course he cares about the pain he is putting you through and is being kind to contact your Mom to help you. He can tell you how much he misses you and still loves you but the fact is he chose her. Make him live with his choice.

[vsah]

Usually we reply to each other instantly and I'd love to text him back but I know I can't. Right now I need to let him miss me and realise what he's throwing away. We are still connected on Facebook but I'm not putting anything on it so he has no idea how I am or what I'm doing. I want him to be thinking of me.

 

It's so stupid, I said to him lots of people bump into an ex and probably wonder what might have been or what they are up to but then it goes away and you remember how much better off you are with your current partner.

 

I asked that and he said it could turn into love but he didn't know, right now he just feels he has to go there.

 

I'm all over his flat too, my stuff is still there and he hasn't even mentioned sending it back. He'd never throw it out though, he's not malicious even though he's currently being incredibly cruel.

 

It's just one big mess tbh.

 

We also have a lot of shared photo albums between the two of us and he's just liked a picture of me. He's really messing with my head and I'm trying to be strong.

 

I broke down in tears whilst out shopping but knowing that he at least misses me and is hurting somehow helps.

[Lois_Griffin]

We had a lovely lunch together and checked in to our hotel, that's when he started wanting my clothes off. I stopped him and said if we do this I need to know you've picked me, no going back. He looked me in the eye and said yes. We then had the best sex we've ever had, he couldn't get enough.

Ugh. You must be young and have yet to learn that you NEVER believe something out of the mouth of a guy whose trying to take your clothes off.

 

Ever.

 

For clarification of this advice, listen to Meatloaf's "Paradise By the Dashboard Light." It will explain all.

 

He hasn't told her he was still sleeping with me, still picturing me naked and telling me he loved me everyday and if it were me I would run a mile.

Of course he hasn't. He may be a sleazy opportunist, but he's not stupid.

I think he's emotionally checked out now and focusing on her which I'm struggling with. I've agreed we need space and we are not going to contact each other, I'm actually going out of the country to get away but part of me is desperately hoping he will miss me like I'm missing him and come back begging me. He was my best friend and I was his. I think he's just blocking everything out and yet I can't. I can't wait for him and if he sleeps with her I'm not sure I could ever touch him again. I'm just heartbroken right now and trying to get well again.

I say this in all sincerity.

 

Never ever lower yourself for someone who threw you away so incredibly easily when something else got his attention. If 18 months of your love and total devotion mean so little to him that he was willing to throw it all away for someone he only dated for a few months, then that speaks VOLUMES about his character - and none of it good.

 

The message you send someone like this if you take him back is that you have no regard or respect for yourself at all and will accept any degrading treatment just to have him in your life.

 

THAT'S the message you'll send him.

[Lorenza]

The problem is I don't think he knows what he wants. He chose me multiple times and was happy with me, we've never had any problems apart from trying to resolve the distance issue. But then he chose her and feels like he's made his decision. He told me he needed space and everyone told me the same, let him miss me and I think he now is.

 

If I'm totally honest I would take him back right now if he could give me assurances he wouldn't flip flop again and try to move closer to me as right now I couldn't consider moving there knowing she's nearby. If though he went and had a full relationship with her then I'm not sure I could even consider it as the trust would be ruined and I don't deserve to be treated like this. I know I deserve better, I know I'm stronger than him mentally but stupidly I still love him and I think he still loves me, he's just got himself into such a mess and she's the easy option as she's nearby.

 

Why are you even ok with being an option? Doesn't it make you feel humiliated that someone is playing these games with you? He DOES know what he wants and that is to screw that other chick while knowing that he can come back to you anytime. He doesn't love you. People who love us are with us, loyal to us, commited to us and don't even allow themselves to get close to other people and end up fuoucking them and leaving us.

[vsah]

It is my first serious relationship but as I said we've always been so honest and shared everything. Every aspect. Maybe I don't know everything, I don't know what's been said between the two of them other than the basics.i just know that after missing her he felt he had to make a decision. Maybe if I was the one nearby it would be harder for him, seeing me and making that decision. I don't know. I think he's torn and right now I think he's self destructive as he was incredibly happy with me and I can't work out why he's throwing it away as if it meant nothing.

 

He says he doesn't think anyone can love him like I do and yet he's willing to take the risk.

 

I'm not lowering myself, if he wants me he has to fight for me, earn back that trust but once he goes into a relationship with her, he's not in one yet, then I don't think I could go back as I wouldn't trust him and I'm so much better than that.

 

I'm not responding to any of his messages right now, I'm letting him see what he's missing, I was such a big part of his life and he knows it. No one else would be so accommodating around his work schedule.

 

I don't know what will happen, right now he's chosen her, I've accepted it and I'm giving him the space he wanted. It's him that's broken it and text me and liked one the ouctures he took of me so I must still be in his head.

[Lois_Griffin]

It's just hard to move on when he says he still loves me and his head says to be with me but his heart is telling him to try with her.

 

He'd said he hoped the feelings would go away but they haven't and he couldn't do it to me at a later date as we had so much planned for the summer.

 

It's so out of character, he's usually very cautious and considered. He doesn't make rash decisions and this feels like it.

 

He said he may be about to make the biggest mistake he's ever made and he'll have to live with that

Damn, this guy is good.

 

He's actually got you willing to stand by and wait for him while he test drives this woman he dated years ago (and he hasn't told you the whole story of what he's really been up to these last few months at ALL - cheaters never DO).

 

Giving you all these syrupy words of love and claiming what a mistake he's probably making but gosh and golly gee, it's fate - he just HAS to do what his heart is telling him! Oh brother. He sounds like a teenage girl with a crush for God's sakes.

 

Right now, you're Option B. That's why he's keeping you in the loop. Experience has told him that this woman has dumped his ass in the past, so he knows she's a flight risk. While he's more than happy to throw his hat in the ring a second time, he's also very aware he might get dumped a 2nd time. That's where YOU come in, Option B.

 

And when she DOES dump him again, he'll tell you all about how he was momentarily dazzled and wasn't thinking straight and in a 'fog' and he looooooves only you and please oh please, give him a second chance?

 

But let's get real here. You don't 'fall in love' with someone you dated a mere 3 months and then got dumped. It's more likely that the sex must have been - and STILL is - phenomenal and enough of a draw for him to act like a fool and run back for more.

 

You really don't believe his nonsense story that they haven't been seeing each other behind your back for a while now and that they haven't been physical yet?

 

This guy is SUCH a liar.

 

I said it before. This guy is good.

Edited June 28, 2016 by Lois_Griffin

[Bouli]

This man has treated you badly and doesn't deserve you. He wasn't even man enough to break it off as soon as he developed feelings for this woman, he had to string you along and cause you pain. I was in a similar situation , where my boyfriend of 7 years developed feelings for and kissed someone at work, walked out on me then came back a couple of months later, I took him back but the trust was gone and it wasn't the same, he left me again for her. Save yourself the pain and do what I wish I had done - cut him from your life. He broke what you had and you can never trust him again. Once the pain fades you will be able to look back on the good times. You should not want him back.

[vsah]

I've made it quite clear to him I won't wait for him. I'll be gone forever. I asked him how he felt about me with someone else and said he hated the thought. You're right he is playing games and people are getting hurt. That's why I said he should go away and have no contact from either of us, it stops anyone getting hurt and then once he's clear he has to stick with it.

 

I know that she hasn't been in his flat, we FaceTime all the time, he comes home cooks dinner and watches films, he does that virtually every night and we FaceTime and chat and I would know if she was there. I'd also know if he kept going to hers because I'd see it on the tracker. I do accept though that he might have seen her at the pub that he goes to nearby.

 

I'm not telling him though I'll wait, I'm telling him I'll be long gone and he'll never hear from me again. That said right now if he changed his mind I would take him back but he'd have a lot of making up to do.

[Bouli]

Block him on everything. Stop worrying about what he's doing. He has already chosen her and however much he begs at any point, you should not take him back. You are not married, you don't have kids so you don't owe him anything. If he comes back who's to know he won't go off again if someone makes eyes at him. Hold your head up, block him and no more letting him know how much he's hurt you. Indifference is the best revenge.

[vsah]

I keep wondering though that say he is having a breakdown of some sort or a mid life crisis at 30 and it never happened again, I hate the thought that I wouldn't have that chance. Part of me hates him, another is disgusted but sadly I still love him. It doesn't just disappear and on that Saturday when I was with him and he looked me in the eyes I knew he loved me too so I know his wont have vanished either, it's just masked by this feelings for her so he's trying to emotionally check out.

 

I've spoken to his mum and she was really worried about him. I can deal with him not contacting me but I worry when he can't even speak to his family, I said to her I think he's ashamed. They were all so lovely to me and she said as much as he's her son he was being unfair on me. He still hasn't spoken to them.

 

He also said he wouldn't take her to see his parents at Christmas even if they do get together, I suppose it would be awkward, having one Vicky one year and a new one the following. Especially as they liked me.

 

I don't know how he can be with her though whilst messaging me, thinking about me, it's just so wrong. If I was in that girl's shoes I wouldn't have touched him knowing he was with someone else.

[Zahara]

He also said he wouldn't take her to see his parents at Christmas even if they do get together, I suppose it would be awkward, having one Vicky one year and a new one the following. Especially as they liked me.

 

It would be best to try and disregard words. It's easy to make all sorts of declarations and never mean them. At the end of the day, it's still his family and they'll have to accept the choices he makes. So, stop worrying about whether he takes her there for X'mas because all that now is beyond your control. Focus on what you need to do in terms of healing and moving forward from him.

 

I don't know how he can be with her though whilst messaging me, thinking about me, it's just so wrong. If I was in that girl's shoes I wouldn't have touched him knowing he was with someone else.

 

The thing is -- you don't know what he's been telling her. If I'm reading your story right, he mentioned his confusion and likely having feelings for this other woman and you still went ahead and slept with him. And you don't even know what he's done with her. You both were/are being played.

[vsah]

I know he hasn't slept with her. They did kiss though.

 

I said I wouldn't and the only reason why I did is he said it was me he wanted. I had no reason not to trust him at the time as he'd been quite open about it all.

 

He was my first time and he waited for me for over 6 months before we slept together. That's partly why I had so much faith in him, he could have ditched me for someone with more experience or who would give in straight away by he didn't.

 

I know he sounds awful, hurtful, cruel, deceptive and deceitful but I've never seen any of those qualities in him at all up until now, not even a glimpse. He could be selfish and stubborn but I'm stubborn too and it wasn't a problem.

Edited June 28, 2016 by vsah

[Zahara]

I know he hasn't slept with her. They did kiss though.

 

I said I wouldn't and the only reason why I did is he said it was me he wanted. I had no reason not to trust him at the time as he'd been quite open about it all.

 

Exactly. Words. So you don't even know what he's telling her and her reasons for wanting to be with him and trust him.

 

I know he sounds awful, hurtful, cruel, deceptive and deceitful but I've never seen any of those qualities in him at all up until now, not even a glimpse. He could be selfish and stubborn but I'm stubborn too and it wasn't a problem.

 

There are people who have been in marriages lasting decades only to come upon behavior by their other half that is uncharacteristic. So, 18 months isn't a surprise that you're seeing another side to him.

 

Block him. Don't allow yourself to be a fallback should things not work out with this other woman.

[stillafool]

 

I've made it quite clear to him I won't wait for him. I'll be gone forever. I asked him how he felt about me with someone else and said he hated the thought. You're right he is playing games and people are getting hurt. That's why I said he should go away and have no contact from either of us, it stops anyone getting hurt and then once he's clear he has to stick with it.

 

But you ARE waiting for him. He has already dumped you and has chosen the other woman. The one who is getting hurt here is you. You have to protect your own heart.

 

I know that she hasn't been in his flat, we FaceTime all the time, he comes home cooks dinner and watches films, he does that virtually every night and we FaceTime and chat and I would know if she was there. I'd also know if he kept going to hers because I'd see it on the tracker. I do accept though that he might have seen her at the pub that he goes to nearby.

 

Does it make sense to you that he wants her back yet they never talk or see each other? Of course not! He is communicating with her daily. He broke off an 18 month relationship to be with her and you think they aren't talking often and seeing each other? C'mon that doesn't even make sense.

[Lorenza]

So many ridiculous excuses for this guy. Can you please understand that words are wind? It doesn't foucking matter what he says. He can say he's possesed by the devil itself to go screw that woman and you'll believe him...

[stillafool]

 

I know he hasn't slept with her. They did kiss though.

 

You don't know that they haven't slept together. Do you think he would break off an 18 month relationship for her and not want to have sex? If they haven't it's because she hasn't given in yet. I doubt he would break up with you if he wasn't sure his feelings for her are real and men usually feel it through sex.

 

 

He was my first time and he waited for me for over 6 months before we slept together. That's partly why I had so much faith in him, he could have ditched me for someone with more experience or who would give in straight away by he didn't.

 

How do you know that he wasn't having sex with her or someone else while waiting for you in those 6 months? Most sexually experienced attractive men do not wait 6 months to have sex. They may wait 6 months to have sex with one woman but they will have sex with others in the meantime.