isabellah Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 (edited) I'll try to write the most detailed post so you can understand how the most beautiful break up of my life went, because I'm gonna need all your insight or I'll go crazy as hell. My first language is Spanish so sorry if I make some mistakes I'm 26 years old, I have a 3 year old boy and I moved to another country 2 years ago to live with the father of my child. That's another story that made it short is: He had chats on Facebook and Skype with lots of women all this time, he didn't care for helping me to fit here, he wasn't caring, preferred to play computer games in the night that spending it with me, I felt extremely alone since I don't speak the language here either, just a little bit, had no friends, I only had him. I dumped him like 6 times in these two years, but the last time was the real one, I stopped the sex, I stopped the hugs and kisses, I barely talked to him unless it was about the house and our son. Two weeks after that I decided to go out and meet people on my own, there is a language group on Facebook where people ask help to improve a language, so I wrote to a guy that wanted to practice his Spanish. We met in a bar, played jenga and had some wine, it was all fine, I didn't like him physically when I first saw him, I mean, he was handsome but not my type, I was with the minset of making a new friend, he was really fun to be with and it all just flowed between us. He lived near the bar so we went to his home and smoke weed. I came back home, next day I added him on Facebook since he told me he couldn't do it because I had a setting active. Next day I wrote him saying that I had a good time, because it would've been rude if I didn't, right? He answered he had a great time too and that we should do it again (with a smiley face), I said ok and wished him well. We didn't spoke for the next 3 days, next time he reached out to me to invite me to a street festival in the weekend, I said yes, we met but it started to rain SO much, so we had to go to his house so he could change clothes and wait until the rain was over, while we waited we talked more, had wine listened to music, then there's a black space in my mind and the next thing I remember is that we were dancing in the middle of the kitchen, he had his face so much I could feel him breathing, we were so damn close and we kissed.... of course we did! I still remember how it felt, I think it was the most passionate kiss I've ever had, I had him from his t-shirt just to keep him closer to me, now I'm sad of just remembering it We went to the couch and I couldn't control myself, it appeared as if we were going to have sex, but he stopped and hugged me, he said he doesn't want it to happen that way, when we're all drunk. He got me high and dry, and I told him I should go because I was so damn hot and I left. Important thing: He is 20, 21 next month. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, but in my defense the guy doesn't act, doesn't talk, doesn't dress and doesn't look like a 20yo. After that he wrote me everyday, it started with a good morning message, small talk during the day because he does a lot of things, some conversation in the evening and a good night wish. We started to see each other more often, 4 times a week. He took me to a language group near his house and I met a girl who became my bf, there was also another latin girl, but I didn't like her vibe, I'm very sensitive about people, and I also got the feeling she was flirting with him, on my face. But I convinced myself I was being a little bit paranoid and put my guard down. Mistake. Now I'm realizing this is being a long post hahaha, I'm so sorry, I'll make it short from now on. Another time he came near my house and we had drinks in a bar and then went to a park near, we talked and laughed and were our most stupiest selves trying all the games, then we laid down on a huge circular swing, he got my hand and kissed it, kissed my forehead, he looked up and said the was happy, I asked why and he said: I don't know, I'm just so happy right now; then he looked at me and kissed me. I felt like a little part of my heart got missing that moment. Another time we went to another festival, I waited for him next to a park and when he found me he just came running and kissed so much, I had red lipstick and he ended up like a clown, he didn't even tried to clean himself, he smiled at me, grabbed my hand and asked me to come with him, he introduced me to his friends as if TAAA-DAAA and hugged from behind while they greeted me, we stayed with them some time, and then went to enjoy the festival alone, we danced like crazy, and kissed like crazy, a man even told us to get a room hahaha, he took a picture of us and sent it to his friends group on Whatsapp. I trusted the guy, and that's something I can't do easily. Another time we watched Game of Thrones in his house and he showed his memory box, full of all the stories of his life. We talked about our childhood, it was very special. And I felt my heart missed another little part. And so happened other things like that, I'm telling you this so you can have an idea of him and you can give me your best advice The dating lasted one month only, but the rush and the connection made it feel like so much more... He broke up with me last week. There was no strange attitude, he told me he couldn't wait to see me that day, we meet and on our way to the language group, he told me we could go to his friends home to watch the last episode of Game of Thrones next week, we made a plan! I agreed and told I have something to tell him, but after the meeting. In the meeting we had some drinks (Germany), people talked with everybody and I went outside to talk with my bf. Mistake. He was inside with the woman I didn't like and they talked a lot. After that he came out to find me, hugged me and kissed me, my bf wanted me to stay but he said we were going for a walk. Were we??? Now this is other thing. I was stupid enough to tell my son's father about the people I met, and talked about the other latina girl, he said he knew her from a class in the university. Days after he added her on Facebook. He saw it and called me asking who he was, I told her the truth, he was the father of my child and apparently he knew her from university. She said she doesn't know him. Oh, everybody knew about my situation with the father of my son. She always told me "that's so weird". I made the mistake to ask her to not add him because it would be weird since she was also friend with the guy I was dating. She thought I was hiding something. PLUS, the only album the father of my son left public was the one with pictures of us from 4 years ago, the ******* planned it, I'm so sure about it. Now, he took me for a walk that night and I don't know how we ended up talking about us. He said that he had to talk about it because he was already asking himself what were we. He said he liked me and he was going out with me because he thought the father of my child didn't care about me anymore, but since he is "stalking" (that's what that bitch said), it's because he cares and he is afraid of what would happen is he wants me back, he also said he feels like he has to be the father of my child (I bet this was also that bitch), "I'm 20!" he said; before he had no problem about it, I told him that is not his responsability and that my son already has a very good father and that he doesn't need another and that I don't expect him to be that. He said he felt a connection between us and that it doesn't happen all the time. I cried. Not a lot but I did. We kept walking and then it was as if we forgot what we just talked, we laughed and kissed and hold hands until he asked me to stay the night, I said yes. We went to his place, he gave me one of his pajamas, I always have a problem with buttons, and the last one was missing, he reached to me, unbuttoned me (I had no bra), and buttoned it right. That was it, he didn't even tried anything, it was all so ****ing sweet. And my heart was stolen completely. We didn't even talk, he turned off the lights and hugged until next day. Next day we talked about it, he said he couldn't sleep well thinking about it, and that he asked me stay because he didn't wanted it to end like it was before, he said that if I live alone it would be another story but that he is not even sure of how he would feel. I just grab my clothes and changed in the bathroom, when I came back I told him I wasn't angry at him and that I understood. He smiled. When we were going to the station I stopped and asked If he would reconsider it and he grab my hands and said: "I think we should see each other less" He took me to the station and we hugged and said goodbye. This is day 4 and he hasn't write me. I haven't either and I'm going nuts. I think I should write him. Im afraid that if I go no contact on him he will forget about me considering we dated one month only. He goes online on whatsapp more than before and I'ms starting to think, as a crazy woman, that he is already seeing someone else, or that maybe he broke up with me because of somebody else, but if that was the case he wouldn't have made plans with me that very same night. I don't know what to do, I just want him back, what do I do to get him back? :(:(:(:(:( Edited June 27, 2016 by isabellah
Lorenza Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 He is young and doesn't want to deal with your situation. I'm glad that he let you down softly. Not every 20 y o is mature enough to be so respectful, even though he left you some false hopes. But all his actions indicate he is not interested anymore. No sex the last night, asking to see each other less and then silence. Sounds pretty final to me.
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