3 Dates and I havent made a move. Did i blow it?

[delirium80033]

So let me start off with im bad at dating, especially online dating. I think Im getting better, but I still have a long way to go.

Having said that, I met this girl on Tinder and we met for coffee. Although the first 5 mintues was awkward, we quickly became comfortable and over the course of 3 hours got to know each other pretty well.

 

Later that day she text me telling me that she had a really great time. I asked her out again and she said yes, we ended up having dinner and spent another 3 hours together. This is where I think I started to make mistakes. I didn’t really make any moves. It seemed really awkward to do so in the restaurant and when we left it was the same thing.

 

So I asked her out again and we went to a baseball game. I made more moves, (touching, teasing, flirting) but I didn’t go in for the first kiss still. Im thinking she might be losing interest and I thought for sure I blew it at this point. But I really liked her so I figured id give it one last try and asked her out for a 4th time. She responded immediately with a yes, however her excitement level seems really low compared to the first few dates. Is she losing interest cause she thinks im not interested? Obviously I am since I keep asking her out, and id like to think she still is because she keeps going out with me. I know I need to make a move on this date or its over.

 

My question is, should I even go through with it at this point? Have I already blown it and cant fix it? Am I overthinking this entire situation? Also, she has always met me at the dating location, this is the first time she will be letting me pick her up. I don't know if its a big deal, but thought it was worth mentioning.

Edited June 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[nancyha]

I don't think you have blown it.. And you're probably overthinking. I would say go on with the fourth date, you've got nothing to lose right? And make your move! I think you're still on time. Good luck!

[carhill]

Is she touching, teasing, flirting with you?

 

Dances are best when equal. You've made a clear lead so far. if she's not proactively indicating she wants to be your dance partner and you're merely dragging her along, then this dance will be over soon if not already.

 

I used to subscribe to the man doing everything philosophy but learned to be more perceptive of my dance partners and discard those who weren't right there with me. After that, success, like relationships and marriage, followed.

 

So, to answer your title, IMO no you didn't 'blow it'. It's entirely possible there is nothing to blow. That's how things work sometimes. Oh, another tip from back in the day..... I was the guy who always paid for the dates and it was easy for a woman to say yes if the social interaction was pleasant and engaging, even if she wasn't substantially attracted. Think of it as giving the guy who engaged and entertained her 'a chance'. That's perfectly valid and can be one place perceived low interest comes from. OTOH, if she's thinking up date ideas or taking you to a place or activity she likes, even if free, that's more indicative of sincere interest rather than merely going along.

 

Clear as mud? Likely!

[Articher]

Everyone sucks at online dating cause online dating sucks so don't even worry about that... and no, you didn't blow it. If she is still saying "yes" to dates then she is still interested to some extent. I think it sounds like things are progressing fine so far. It is a good sign that she wants to be picked up rather than meet. Just my opinion. Could mean she is feeling more comfortable with you, could mean she is hoping for a goodnight kiss or could just mean she is sick of driving. Regardless, don't overthink things. Go with the intent of having fun and getting to know her better. If the chemistry is there and the mood is right then go for the kiss but don't stress about it. I didn't kiss the guy I am currently dating until date 3 or 4 and it all still worked out fine.

[delirium80033]

So ive been seeing this girl for only 3 weeks. We met on Tinder. We've gone out on 3 dates and they all were fun and seemed to go well. I asked her out for a 4th and she said yes. Here's the problem though, I really like her and for whatever reason im having a hard time making a move. She hasn't given me any obvious signals that she wants me to. I did get more touchy on the last date but still didn't go in for the kiss. I knew she was busy this weekend so I didn't contact her. I also didn't want to come off as needy. I noticed this morning that she updated her pics on Tinder which means she's still looking. Did I blow my chance by not kissing her, Has she lost interest in me now? I know we aren't exclusive, but it just seems like if things were going well she wouldn't have actively loaded up her Tinder profile to make positive changes. Perhaps im overthinking this, but do I even stand a chance now? How can I make a move on the next date to let me know I want to be with her? Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated....because if you couldn't tell, I SUCK AT THIS lol.

[salparadise]

Don't let it psych you out. Yea, you need to kiss her. I'm sure she's been expecting it, and by the 4th date she's probably wondering the same things you are! Doesn't he like me? Why hasn't he kissed me yet? Just do it. Don't think of it as some huge risk. Also, don't get too invested until you've got a reason to be.

[normal person]

This is where I think I started to make mistakes. I didn’t really make any moves. It seemed really awkward to do so in the restaurant and when we left it was the same thing.

 

So here's a question, why haven't you made a move yet? I also think it's weird to kiss or do whatever you're going to do inside the restaurant, but surely you walk out together, say goodbye, hug, etc, right? That's your opportunity.

 

Is she losing interest cause she thinks im not interested? Obviously I am since I keep asking her out, and id like to think she still is because she keeps going out with me. I know I need to make a move on this date or its over.

 

If she was losing interest, she wouldn't agree to go out with you again. But it's been 3 dates and nothing's happened, she's probably starting to wonder...

 

My question is, should I even go through with it at this point?

 

Why wouldn't you?

 

Have I already blown it and cant fix it?

 

She agreed to see you again, so that seems a little presumptuous, don't you think?

 

Am I overthinking this entire situation?

 

Yes.

Also, she has always met me at the dating location, this is the first time she will be letting me pick her up. I don't know if its a big deal, but thought it was worth mentioning.

 

Well, she doesn't fear you. That's worth something.

 

 

Just go out, have a nice time, and kiss her at the end. Problem solved.

[mizunomead]

Alright....Here we go...

 

First off, close your eyes. Take a couple of deep breaths, relax for a minute or two. Calm yourself...chill...

 

The answers to most of your questions will present themselves in time by the actions taken. So don't stress. She agreed to another date. So text or call her and setup a date. Sooner then later. If the time/day doesn't work for her then put it in her court to pick one that accommodates her.

If i was to guess, she is probably interested in you at some level, but is not sure yet. So she is keeping her options open. You've gotten some touching and flirting in there. Nice job. She wants you to pick her up, that means she is comfortable around you. And there will be ample opportunity to give her a kiss. So make it happen on this next date. And have a good time. Don't worry about if anything else will happen or not. But go for the kiss, make it happen. And make it count and give her a reason to think about you when she goes to bed that night:cool:

[BaileyB]

So hard to find the right moment... So much pressure! Give yourself a break.

 

I think she is still interested because she keeps saying yes. And the fact that she agreed to let you pick her up is a great sign... She is comfortable and trusts you enough now to agree to ride together and have you come to her home. Walking her to the door and saying good night is a perfect opportunity to try for that kiss!

 

Good luck!

[Grapesofwrath]

You haven't blown it, as long as she is still willing to go out with you.

 

If you have gone out 4 times and not tried to kiss her or be affectionate, she probably thinks you aren't attracted to her so she is continuing to look. Next time, give her a kiss at the end of the date. Maybe try to hold her hand? Or walk with your arm around her? If she responds well to that, then greenlight for a kiss.

[smackie9]

If she still says yes to another date then I don't see where she would be losing interest.

[leogirl876]

Next date you go out with her, just make the move. Even if it's in the parking lot, if you don't, she'll either think you friend zoned her or she'll end up friend zoning you. If she goes out on a 4th date with you, trust me, she wants you to make the move, but IMO, it's your job as a man to do it. So when you're standing there saying your goodbyes, just go and kiss her.

[delirium80033]

When it comes to dating I move pretty slow. I usually wont start making moves until the 3rd date. I think this has held me back from advancing with women. Now, I really like the girl im seeing right now. Weve been on 3 dates and they were all fun and amazing. However, I moved really slow with this one and still haven't kissed her. I usually don't have a problem with this, but for whatever reason, im really struggling with this girl. I just cant pull it off. Much to my surprise she said yes to a 4th date and we are going out in 2 days. I don't want to screw this up but I feel like I already may have and its no longer salvageable. We didn't text this weekend and I noticed on Monday she updated her Tinder pics, which means she's still actively looking and im thinking that has to do with me not pulling the trigger. Regardless, im going to make my moves on this next date and I will kiss her and see if I can save this, but im really not anticipating much. What are the chances that I can salvage this new romance? Do girls lose interest when we move slow?

[smackie9]

Is she trying to hint or encourage you to make a move? Any leaning in leaning on touching grabbing onto your arm anything?

[delirium80033]

Im trying to read signs or signals but im having a hard time. She is very difficult to read. Anytime ive initiated contact she went with it, she didn't lean away from me or flinch. There were a couple times at the ball game where we had really good long solid eye contact and from time to time id notice her look at my lips and than back to my eyes. I took this as a small signal, but I wasn't going to try to kiss her for the first time in front of 10,000+ people at a ball game (not that many would have noticed anyways) surely a lot of the problems are in my own head.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I agree that as long as she keeps agreeing to see you, you still have a shot BUT there will come a time if you're not careful she'll put you in the friend zone if you don't amp up your game.

 

Stop over thinking everything and relax. This isn't supposed to be hard. Do what feels good and right and go for it.