MatSweetMay Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 I matched with this guy on Tinder just 2 weeks ago. We texted all day that day and ended up seeing each other that very evening (we live 5 min away). His reaction when he saw me was priceless (huge confidence boost). We talked for a couple of hours and discovered we have lots of things in common. He claims I'm the first girl he met IRL from Tinder. He is also the first one I met from Tinder. We talked about expectations and decided to go with it and see where it leads us. No labeling, no stress, no expectations (for now), just relax, enjoy each other's company and see if there is a real connection for a LTR. Ever since that evening, we've been texting all day, every day. He is very sweet, caring, funny and he said he really enjoys our conversations and interactions. He keeps me updated on his whereabouts, he asks about my day, about my kids and he just seems very into me. He invited me to a party last Saturday where I met his brother and SIL and lots of his friends. Again his reaction was awesome, because he mentioned to dress casual, which I did. He was fearing that I will show up all dolled up and dressed all fancy, and he mentioned a few times how happy he was that we were on the same page. Ever since that party we saw each other almost every day and continued to send hundreds on messages. We also spent this past weekend together just relaxing and enjoying each other's company (there was also lots of amazing sex). It's too soon to talk about exclusivity, even though I'm not seeing anyone else and I find it hard to believe he would find the time between his job, texting me all day and spending most of his time with me. Also it's too soon to have any serious conversations about our status, if we are bf/gf and all that. We need more time to pass for that. Now my question is, from a guy's POV, what does it mean when in such a short period of time he acts like this? How does he see this thing we have? I don't necessarily need a label, I'm just curious to understand his expectations since I know for a fact men and women are so different.
bummer Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 2 weeks is still short. Be a cool cucumber. Get some more time before you worry about that. If he's right for you you'll find the time for that conversation soon enough.
pteromom Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 He could be building strong feelings for you and want more. He could also just be enjoying the chatting and amazing sex and not want more. It's too early to tell, but I do have one piece of advice for you. Make sure that sex isn't the only thing you are doing together, or even the MAIN thing you are doing together. Make sure you are also building friendship and respect and getting to know who he is (and he's getting to know who you are too.) 3
smackie9 Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 Don't count texting as dating. You only been out twice with this guy, 2 dates is too soon to really come to the conclusion that you should be exclusive. IMO keep sex off the table until he does mention it. Like bummer said, if it's right it will happen. 2
O'Malley Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 What do you want? If you decide that you'd like to have a exclusive relationship with him in a few weeks or a 1-2 months, be clear about it at that time. Anything other than yes from him means that you should move on. The sex and texting might be great, but don't use them as a barometer of his interest level in you. Of course it's too early to know if you see any serious potential in this situation. I'd be a bit cautious due to what he said. It doesn't matter how much he texts or that he introduced you to his family and friends. When someone tells you that they don't want labels or expectations, take them at their word. It seems pretty silly: what's the big scary deal about saying that you are dating someone and that it might develop into more?
Author MatSweetMay Posted June 27, 2016 Author Posted June 27, 2016 Thank you all for your advice. Indeed 2 weeks is a very short time for any of us to know for sure what we want. I know for sure I'm not a one night stand type of girl and I told him that. I'm also not looking for just an adventure or FWB and I was very clear on that. We're on the same page with our expectations, we're both figuring it out and if it develops into a LTR we're both willing to take that step. We had more than 2 dates, we actualy spent a lot of time together, and not just for sex. We talked, relaxed by the pool, shared stories, laughed... And I do admit the relationship evolved very fast. But in our defense, at this age (I'm 38, he's 34) things tend to go faster, we know what we want and there's no point going in circles. Our dates weren't sex oriented (even though we also reached that stage), but a genuine desire to get to know each other. I want to see if he is a person I can see myself building a future with. And I do consider texting and talking on the phone as part of getting to know each other, so it's part of dating. Also I was the one saying I don't want to put labels or set up expectations, because it's still too early for that. We're just starting to develop an emotional connection, but there are no guarantees.
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