alphamale Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall Having children and being single has a different ramification for women that it does for a man.. Unless he has custody. right on the money AFOTW...
Author Woggle Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 It is true that most divorces are filed by women. Men are playing russian roulette when they get married which makes me wonder why men even bother in the first place. I tell my little cousin who is 14 never to get married. I tell him to get a good education, get a great career and enjoy his life.
clandestinidad Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Then why the heck do you waste your time on a website about love and relationships? oh yeah, you answered that one before on another thread Besides the fact that no one, namely YOU since you were the OP, has answered my question (which I've asked twice) about women who've had abortions as opposed to women who actually kept their children....do you think that's better than dating someone with kids?! (there, now its been 3 times, and hopefully you'll address it now) So what, these people who got pregnant and didnt have abortions to get rid of it are somehow WORSE than those who DID get rid of it?!?!?!? As if its better to date them b/c they dont have evidence of having sex?!?! (even though they might be the bigger slut/whore) And your advice to men is that its better to date a girl that killed her child/fetus, rather than one who is sacrificing her life and living her life for her child?!?!?!? COME ON!!!! I'd still like to know if ya'll would prefer dating a woman who's had abortions....b/c then she doesnt have the horrible child-baggage edit to add: Also, how would you KNOW if she ever got pregnant and killed the child/fetus!!? You'd probably be dating someone who DID make bad choices (getting pregnant, abortions (if you consider that a bad choice or not), etc etc) but you wouldnt know, b/c "well, she doesnt have kids, so I'll date her".....duuuuuhh.....get a clue
Neptune Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 There is nothing wrong with getting married. But some people, being puzzled about it themselves, will remain single. Most of the time it just happened. So, telling someone to never get married is probably not the right approach. Telling someone to be careful may be of value!
Merin Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall I don't know if that fits the true definition of a double standard. Having children and being single has a different ramification for women that it does for a man.. Unless he has custody. Women bear the brunt of child rearing after a divorce and that causes all kinds of issues for dating and relationships. The divorced men don't have the child rearing to deal with therefore when they date they might prefer a woman with no kids. Makes perfect sense to me.. It is a double standard. Regardless... For ME, I wouldn't date a Guy who has Kid's and DIDN'T want to be a part of his Little People's lives, or refused to be responsible for how they are growing up and what they are doing... I wouldn't date a Guy who felt the well being of his children was his Kid's Mothers job only... IMO when or if a person could turn thier back on the people they helped create, then you had better stand the hell by with regards to what they would be capable of doing to you. As a Single Mom there might be a lot of things I would *prefer* with that said, I prefer to date a Guy who is good to go with my wee peep's, and being that my boyfriend is also a single parent, I am so glad that he has stepped up and stayed involved with his Kid's, spends time with them, and is proud to be a good Dad single or otherwise... he loves his kids and is there for them. My EXH is the Dad who doesn't have the child rearing to deal with daily... he was the Guy who went out and did his damn thing at his discretion... he was the Guy who wasn't all about his last GF having kids of her own that didn't belong to him... he is also the Guy who is missing out on the amazing Little people our Kids are... and although it may hurt a little along the way for our Kiddo's growing up, in the end he will be the one wondering where the time went and when his kids grew up... wondering who they are and why they are on with thier own lives as adults and not there for him when he may want or need them in his older years... I have no regrets... My Kid's are MY PEOPLE... mad, mad, mad Love for those 2 girls
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Merin ... he was the Guy who went out and did his damn thing at his discretion... he was the Guy who wasn't all about his last GF having kids of her own that didn't belong to him... he is also the Guy who is missing out on the amazing Little people our Kids are... he was also the guy you freely chose to father your children. he will be in your life and your future men's lives in some capacity for quite some time.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Merin IMO when or if a person could turn thier back on the people they helped create, then you had better stand the hell by with regards to what they would be capable of doing to you. Merin .. I think you misunderstood my comment "The divorced men don't have the child rearing to deal with therefore when they date they might prefer a woman with no kids. " I didn't mean to say that dead beat type of dads.. Even in the best cases the woman still bears the brunt of child rearing.. In "most" divorces the woman gets physical custody and the father can only see his chiildren once or twice a week.. normally every other weekend. In those cases I stand behind the fact that the guy has it easier..Therefore he will look for an easier type of lifestyle in dating. Hence a woman without kids.. See where I'm coming from ?
Merin Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale he was also the guy you freely chose to father your children. he will be in your life and your future men's lives in some capacity for quite some time. Did I ever say I didn't CHOOSE FREELY to have my kid's with him? Nope I didn't... I also have ZERO regrets in having my kid's with HIM... my wee peeps wouldn't be who they are without his genetic make up... if he never gave me anything else, I am still grateful for the beautiful Kids we have... Him (my EX) being in my BF's life... again alpha perhaps YOUR reality but nah not mine... my EX has been with his GF for over a year now and I have seen her ONE TIME, I never call his home, I never go to his home, I never speak with or see his GF and thats even though he now shares a kid with her as well (my kid's half sister) His personal life with his GF is HIS, not mine. My personal life with my BF is MINE, not his. Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall Merin .. I think you misunderstood my comment "The divorced men don't have the child rearing to deal with therefore when they date they might prefer a woman with no kids. " I didn't mean to say that dead beat type of dads.. Even in the best cases the woman still bears the brunt of child rearing.. In "most" divorces the woman gets physical custody and the father can only see his chiildren once or twice a week.. normally every other weekend. In those cases I stand behind the fact that the guy has it easier..Therefore he will look for an easier type of lifestyle in dating. Hence a woman without kids.. See where I'm coming from ? I understand where you're coming from Fly, but yeah IMO it doesn't make it right or fair. However life isn't always fair... and thats the way it goes. My EXH def had it easier in doing what he wanted BUT still I am happier in my life and my choices then the ones he's made freely as well... sometimes doing whats *easy* isn't the path to what is going to make you happy in the end.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall In "most" divorces the woman gets physical custody and the father can only see his chiildren once or twice a week.. normally every other weekend. In those cases I stand behind the fact that the guy has it easier..Therefore he will look for an easier type of lifestyle in dating. Hence a woman without kids.. I have met many women who have kids and are single moms that choose not to date or have relationships becasue they just do not have the time or inclination to do so. There are tons of them out there but you don't see them cause they are either at work, the grocery store, or at home. These women are totally cool by me cause many of them just want a casual sexual thing and nothing more than that
DacaInaru Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 These women are totally cool by me cause many of them just want a casual sexual thing and nothing more than that I must be the exception to the rule.. I choose not to date.. but also choose not to get into a purely physical relationship.. something about having sex with someone who I have nothing emotional with is just a real turn off for me...... in terms of relationships.. as i've been dating lately.. none of the guys i've dated have met my child.. and none will until such point as I feel there will be something with them that might be long term. For me.. when I date someone.. or get into a relationship.. all I ask is for the person to be respectful of my child and treat her nice.. my problem in finding someone is that.. I don't want anymore children.. and so far.. the guys I have met are looking to have a children.. I give up.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by DacaInaru I must be the exception to the rule.. I choose not to date.. in terms of relationships.. as i've been dating lately.. make up your mind DACAINARU....are you or are you not dating?? BTW, there are truck-loads of single moms out there that just want some dude to take them out for a nice romantic dinner and some dancing and then just take them home and f*** their brains out for hours. Then they want the dude gone by noon on sunday when the kids' father drops them back to her.
DacaInaru Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 what I ment to say is that I chose (past tense) not to date.. Now I am dating.. but I was celibate and single for a very very very.. long time.. sorry its the latina can't spell english issues that I have..
Author Woggle Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 I have no problem having sex with single moms. They are good for a nice lay but not good enough for a relationship. Many of them are quite good in bed as they have some experience.
DacaInaru Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle I have no problem having sex with single moms. They are good for a nice lay but not good enough for a relationship. Many of them are quite good in bed as they have some experience. sigh.. damn I am the exception.. can count on 1 hand the number of guys i've actually had sex with.. I feel like i'm missing something.
Merin Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle I have no problem having sex with single moms. They are good for a nice lay but not good enough for a relationship. Many of them are quite good in bed as they have some experience. LMAO So YOU have no problem having sex with a single Mom uh? Freaking priceless.... Seriously you so deserve all the misery you're going to continue to find in your life unless or until you lose the bitterness and hateful approach. BTW plenty of Women out there WITHOUT Kid's that are sexually experienced you can try and hit it with... you've already determined that the single Mom isn't good enough for you, so for real why bother trying to have anything with her even sexually. My guess is the Women you meet may think you're okay to sleep with BUT not to have a real interest in as well... gee I wonder why...
Author Woggle Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Merin LMAO So YOU have no problem having sex with a single Mom uh? Freaking priceless.... Seriously you so deserve all the misery you're going to continue to find in your life unless or until you lose the bitterness and hateful approach. BTW plenty of Women out there WITHOUT Kid's that are sexually experienced you can try and hit it with... you've already determined that the single Mom isn't good enough for you, so for real why bother trying to have anything with her even sexually. My guess is the Women you meet may think you're okay to sleep with BUT not to have a real interest in as well... gee I wonder why... Actually one of my sex buddies right now is begging me to take it further. I tell her all the time what her role in my life is but she wants more. I might have to drop her altogether. She is great in bed but when you try to have a conversation with her she is very empty.
Merin Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle Actually one of my sex buddies right now is begging me to take it further. I tell her all the time what her role in my life is but she wants more. I might have to drop her altogether. She is great in bed but when you try to have a conversation with her she is very empty. Thats really sad for her.
Opium Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle I have no problem having sex with single moms. They are good for a nice lay but not good enough for a relationship. Many of them are quite good in bed as they have some experience. This remark makes me feel as if you have no respect woman period! Actually one of my sex buddies right now is begging me to take it further. I tell her all the time what her role in my life is but she wants more. I might have to drop her altogether. Once again, no respect! Let me give you an ultimatum, play along Woggle. If you starting dating a woman, beautiful, smart, funny, well rounded in all the areas you like. You're dating for some time, you sleep together, spend a lot of time together and you find yourself falling for her. Not love just feel strong for her. You decide what the heck, I'll give this one a try and you are more serious and everythings going great. Now, since you've made things official and she feels better about you, she introduces you to her SON/DAUGHTER, then what?? The reason she never told you before is because she didn't want her kid to get attached without knowing if you're a sure thing. Most woman do this! What the hell would you do? I think I know your answer but lets see what kind of man you are.
Author Woggle Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Thats really sad for her. It is. I find that many women react that way to men who refuse to be emasculated.
DacaInaru Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 I'm just amazed and naive I suppose.. considering that.. usually the women are technically the bitter ones.. heck i've been bitter a pretty dang long time.. difference is I didn't screw random men just for the heck of it.. I often wonder if these bitter guys actually do get sex.. I mean lets face it if they are bitter here.. i'm sure they are just as bitter in real life.. saddly.. bitterness against any sex only makes for a life full of misery... hopefully they will be able to get past their issues and truely find someone who will treat them well irregardless of if she has a child or not.. and whom they will respect and care for.. after almost 6 years of bitterness I know what it bring.. and that is nothing but more misery... I can't blame my F'd up relationships on all men.. I have to take my responsiblities for my roles in them.. but I guess that happens when you grow up.
DacaInaru Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 It is. I find that many women react that way to men who refuse to be emasculated. so if a woman wants more out of a relationship that emasculates the man???
Author Woggle Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Opium This remark makes me feel as if you have no respect woman period! Once again, no respect! Let me give you an ultimatum, play along Woggle. If you starting dating a woman, beautiful, smart, funny, well rounded in all the areas you like. You're dating for some time, you sleep together, spend a lot of time together and you find yourself falling for her. Not love just feel strong for her. You decide what the heck, I'll give this one a try and you are more serious and everythings going great. Now, since you've made things official and she feels better about you, she introduces you to her SON/DAUGHTER, then what?? The reason she never told you before is because she didn't want her kid to get attached without knowing if you're a sure thing. Most woman do this! What the hell would you do? I think I know your answer but lets see what kind of man you are. If everything else was right with her I would respct her for not having a revolving door of men in and out of the child's life. I might give it a try. Actually there are exceptions to the single mom rule but it still is a proceed with caution sign. Most women deserve no respect. Nobody deserves respct for having a vagina alone. People earn respct by the content of their character. There are many women I do respect but not because they are women.
alphamale Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle It is. I find that many women react that way to men who refuse to be emasculated. I agree WOGGLE....and I'm glad you're around to take some of the heat off of me Originally posted by DacaInaru I often wonder if these bitter guys actually do get sex.. bitter guys get the most sex of all cause they don't have to pretend to be a**h***s, they ARE a**h***.....and we all know how most women love a**h***s
Merin Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle It is. I find that many women react that way to men who refuse to be emasculated. It must be good to live in your own little world uh? This isn't a matter of YOU refusing to be emasculated, this is a matter of you refusing to be DECENT. Karma... whatever you do, eventually comes back to you... buckle up for safety.
Author Woggle Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Originally posted by DacaInaru so if a woman wants more out of a relationship that emasculates the man??? No not all but a man who gives up his dignity for a woman is emasculated. This woman can leavwe my life tomorrow and it wouldn't mean a thing to me. She is disposable and she knows it. I guess this attractes her even more. She doesn;t have the right balance that I look for in a woman.
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