Dis Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 You're in a tough spot OP ....you allowed a kinda lame/weird cancellation excuse and then you ran to her afterward to set another date. Not trying to be mean but that looks and feels a bit weak, so chances are her respect level for you has dropped. She's wearing the proverbial pants now. It may be this is all just a bit of fun and if so that's fine, but don't be surprised if you get postponed again ....and again ....and whenever it's convenient for her to 'go jogging.' Problem is you look like a whiner if you say sth about it now after the fact, so it can't get fixed too well either. I agree you shoudnt have contacted her first...you shouldve let her come to you. If someone is truly interested in you...they'll act that way...they will contact you You started to chase her around after she canceled the date...she might take this as an excuse to treat you however she wants to treat you because you'll put up with it regardless From now on (well until she starts to really show some intrest in you) let her come to you hun! 1
Sweetgirl28 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 I wouldn't keep my hopes up too much. If she is anything like me, she'll agree to another date because she likes you but don't be surprised if she cancels again. I would do the same. In her mind, she likes you but she'll never be able to get over your "baggage". Partially because she may not want to take care of someone else's children, partially because you're divorced. I have never been married but I do want it to last when I do. A divorced person is a "failure" in her mind because they did not work it out, even if the divorce wasn't your choice. I think she wants to keep you around in case all else fails. I know I would do the same. Don't text her again because she'll get annoyed by it. 2
Author chriscwashere Posted June 30, 2016 Author Posted June 30, 2016 We went out last night. There was something a little "off" in the air... So I did what I usually do. Just being super direct. We got it all out on the table: She's ok with me being divorced. She's very uncomfortable that I have kids. She genuinely feels guilty that we hooked up so quickly (we had 2 intense, crazy nights)...had to go to church to ease the guilt. (She's more religious than I realized...I'm not religious at all.) I asked about the jogging. She looked genuinely surprised. She said she really was running, as she likes to run at night to decompress. (I believe her) It turned into a conversation of what we expect in a relationship. She's used to seeing someone she's dating seriously only 2-3 times a week. The rest of the time, she needs alone-time. I told her this is very different from how I feel... When I'm in a relationship, I want to spend a lot of time with the person. I told her that because of all our hurdles with kids, I may never see her again after tonight. So I'm just going to lay it all out on the table... I told her that I like her a lot. And I'd love to continue to see her. But I understand if the kids thing is just too much. If so, we won't see each other again. She told me she likes me a lot too... And she wants to keep seeing me. I asked about us dating other people. She said she'd be ok with it. I said that to be honest, I'd rather not see anyone else. She confessed that if I did, it would make her very jealous. She asked how I would feel if she dated other people. I said I'd be ok with it if that's what she wants, but I'd prefer to just be with her. She said she'd prefer to be just with me in a relationship. So on the spot, she asked if we could just delete our dating apps. I agreed. And I told her again that I 100% understand if the kids thing is a no-go... Let's try this for a little. If she's uncomfortable or change her mind, we will stop. She was happy. She also said that she wants to take the sex thing a little slower... (We had 2 *very* crazy nights...) It was genuinely out of her norm. She doesn't want me to just be with her for the crazy sex. I said I'm happy to be patient. Anyway. We will give this a shot. I don't know how it will turn out, but I'm happy. And despite all my efforts to try to "play the game", I'm just happier being super direct. Can't change my ways, haha. Thanks again for being helpful + listening. And wish us luck! 1
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