DJOkawari Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 (edited) This is something that has been on my mind for a while. In a vacuum I would approach these girls, I have no issues with that. However we do not exist in a vacuum. One of many scenarios: I'm in a sunrise set, up front near the DJ and I'm dancing freely (note: not dancing well...freely). This girl is over near the side, also dancing by herself. I look at her, she looks at me, I smile and she smiles and I go back to dancing. I see a guy walk up to her, she puts her hand up in a defensive posture and he walks off. I see it happen again, and again. Eventually she makes it close to the dj and is still dancing, eyes closed. I look over at her, she looks at me, we both look away and continue dancing. At this moment she's moved from about 15 feet away to about 3 feet away (the radius required to avoid my flailing limbs). On the other hand, she has also moved closer to the DJ and an optimal position to listen to the music. I want to talk to her. But then I think: She's been harassed by a bunch of guys already (I saw three over maybe 20 minutes). I don't want to bother her any more.She's finally made it in front of the DJ and seems to be enjoying herself (I'd hate to be the reason she had to move, from what I believe is an optimal spot to enjoy the music)I would like to be the kind of guy where she is comfortable dancing and not being bothered around. I feel there is somewhat a shortage of that in the club.I've been partying for about 12 hours and I'm at a juncture where I'm (lightly) sweaty, clothes wrinkled, hair plastered to my face (smile plastered to my face too though ) and she looks immaculate. This is significant because the party-ers who stay out all night versus the people who wake up for a 10 am show usually don't interact too much and the 10 am people are often more reserved and feel like the party-ers and their debauchery is too aggressive and ruins the experience for them somewhat. 100% stereotyping based on her appearance, I know. Later my friends asked me if I spoke with her and I told them no...but they did notice something. So it's really about how I'm not sure if I am imposing or if I'm desired and how to ride that line. It's more a dilemma of approaching girls in a space where they are approached a lot. Getting rejected is fine, ruining someone else's good time is not. Any ladies/gents have any experience with this? Edited June 27, 2016 by DJOkawari 1
Author DJOkawari Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 So, I came to my own conclusion: I can not evaluate other people and their life situations. It's presumptuous to have any of the thoughts above. It is most important to make sure that I am operating with respect to others. This respect is based on respecting others as human beings but also respecting them as is appropriate for the space we are in. Only when they have communicated with me, can I react to their communication. Part of respecting people is believing they can make decisions for themselves and modify their own reality for their own desires. There is no reason to put that responsibility on myself.
JoeSmith357-1 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 looking at the time this was posted, I have to ask, were you really asking us what to do AS IT WAS HAPPENING?
Author DJOkawari Posted June 29, 2016 Author Posted June 29, 2016 (edited) looking at the time this was posted, I have to ask, were you really asking us what to do AS IT WAS HAPPENING? you made me laugh Obviously time is relative to your zone but I think you made a mistake reading: for me, it was posted Monday morning and later I went to work. It was an event Sunday at around 10 am. Edited June 29, 2016 by DJOkawari
PogoStick Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 You're over thinking it. If you're attracted to a girl and want to talk to her then go do it. If she can't handle that it's her problem not yours. 1
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