Kdawg172 Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 So i have knew this girl this 2010 but we just talked ever now and then back in july,2015 we started becoming close and i fell for her like i have never fell for anyone in my life like i said we got really close as friends i told her in January that i was in love with her and i wanted to see if it could work out between us she told me she love me to death as a friend and she didn't have feelings for me that way, but i have done so much for this girl i have got her anything she wants i have give her a **** ton of money im talking 2 or 3 thousands anything she wants she knows that she can come to me this girl is known to get around she has been with a lot of guys but not me she has told me they have never been a guy treat her they way i have that i have been the best guy she has ever had but i cant let go my heart is breaking to why she will not give me a chance i just cant let go no matter how hard i try and it is killing what do i need to do i am hoping one day she will see and maybe we can have something i got to tell me a month or so ago that someone eles has her heart but they wont have nothing to do with her anymore but like me she cant let go of him what should i do it is killing me i am depressed all the time and i cant stand it no more 1
Buddhist Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 i fell for her like i have never fell for anyone in my life like i said we got really close as friends i told her in January that i was in love with her and i wanted to see if it could work out between us she told me she love me to death as a friend and she didn't have feelings for me that way, Okay I'm not going to tell you unrequited love is fun. It's not, it sucks royally. You have my empathy in that regard. but i have done so much for this girl i have got her anything she wants i have give her a **** ton of money im talking 2 or 3 thousands anything she wants she knows that she can come to me You do understand you can't buy someone's love don't you? No offence I'm sure you offered what you did with good intentions but this passage also tells me you didn't offer it freely. You offered it because you expected reciprocation, in other words with strings attached. I understand that you did what you did out of love for her and you're surprised that your acts of love don't seem to be appreciated in quite the way you expect. But when we love someone, we do what do freely, without expectations. Otherwise it's not love, it's [good intentioned] manipulation. this girl is known to get around she has been with a lot of guys but not me she has told me they have never been a guy treat her they way i have that i have been the best guy she has ever had but i cant let go my heart is breaking to why she will not give me a chance Because she's simply not attracted to you. That won't change just because you act like a Knight In Shining armour. This passage kind of tells me that you thought because she 'gets around town' that she is indiscriminate and would pretty much just get with anyone. That's clearly not true. She's simply attracted to a lot a guys but you are not one of them. i just cant let go no matter how hard i try and it is killing what do i need to do i am hoping one day she will see and maybe we can have something i got to tell me a month or so ago that someone eles has her heart but they wont have nothing to do with her anymore but like me she cant let go of him what should i do it is killing me i am depressed all the time and i cant stand it no more Because she clearly has issues on the subject of love. Most people do, obviously she see's something in guys who lack interest in her. That's a bit dysfunctional, but to be fair to her, your idea's about love [as expressed here] are a bit dysfunctional too. It's common amoung people for this to be the case. It takes all of us a long time to fix whatever our issues on love are and stop doing things which we think bring us love but don't really. For now, you need to protect your heart and stop giving to her so much. It's clear that will make no difference to her attraction to you and it only fuels hope and frustration within you. You are depressed and can't let go because you are obsessing about this. You need to put less energy into a situation you can't change and distract yourself until acceptance occurs. 1
JAbba2gEther Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 So i have knew this girl this 2010 but we just talked ever now and then back in july,2015 we started becoming close and i fell for her like i have never fell for anyone in my life like i said we got really close as friends i told her in January that i was in love with her and i wanted to see if it could work out between us she told me she love me to death as a friend and she didn't have feelings for me that way, but i have done so much for this girl i have got her anything she wants i have give her a **** ton of money im talking 2 or 3 thousands anything she wants she knows that she can come to me this girl is known to get around she has been with a lot of guys but not me she has told me they have never been a guy treat her they way i have that i have been the best guy she has ever had but i cant let go my heart is breaking to why she will not give me a chance i just cant let go no matter how hard i try and it is killing what do i need to do i am hoping one day she will see and maybe we can have something i got to tell me a month or so ago that someone eles has her heart but they wont have nothing to do with her anymore but like me she cant let go of him what should i do it is killing me i am depressed all the time and i cant stand it no more Hi there, Its always difficult when you have made an investment in a relationship and the relationship is not reciprocated. Friendships are always like this - both must deposit something to gain something back. By your comments, I wonder if the money you spent on her was a way of buying her love? It is great that you gave that money freely to your friend, but matters of the heart are never a matter of whether a person has wealth. Sometimes, we as males take a risk when we invest so much. We have a crush on a girl, then suddenly we are willing to do anything for them. Often this may mean providing money. I am wondering whether you can give her the gift of choice. To let her make her own decisions about whom to love? If it is indeed meant to happen, then her memory of your kindness will break her back to you. If not, your infatuation in her will make her fearful and run away from you even more. Because, she will believe you will control her; and that you may treat her like a commodity that you can buy. No girl wishes to feel like her choices won't be respected. Issues of the heart is uncomfortable. But, your pain will fade. Until another decision is made by her, have faith that you will meet another who may be better for you. 1
Satu Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 So i have knew this girl this 2010 but we just talked ever now and then back in july,2015 we started becoming close and *i fell for her like i have never fell for anyone in my life like i said we got really close as friends i told her in January that i was in love with her and i wanted to see if it could work out between us she told me she love me to death as a friend and she didn't have feelings for me that way, but i have done so much for this girl i have got her anything she wants i have give her a **** ton of money im talking 2 or 3 thousands anything she wants she knows that she can come to me this girl is known to get around she has been with a lot of guys but not me she has told me they have never been a guy treat her they way i have that i have been the best guy she has ever had but i cant let go my heart is breaking to why she will not give me a chance i just cant let go no matter how hard i try and it is killing what do i need to do i am hoping one day she will see and maybe we can have something i got to tell me a month or so ago that someone eles has her heart but they wont have nothing to do with her anymore but like me she cant let go of him what should i do it is killing me i am depressed all the time and i cant stand it no more *You do know that things that fall, often break, don't you? You need to get yourself into a calm and peaceful state. As Macbeth said: "What's done, is done." There's no way of changing this. You just have to accept that its never going to happen; that it was never going to happen. Put your time and energy into other things, other people. Decompress. Take care.
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