Ocino Posted June 26, 2016 Posted June 26, 2016 (edited) So I've been seeing this girl for several months now. We are explicitly not exclusive but neither of us are seeing other people. We're late 20s. I have very strong feelings for her but I'm not in love with her, and I think shes such a good person. She feels the same way, but since we aren't in a relationship she'd rather we didn't start hanging out too frequently so we can have distance. She also doesnt want to lose me as a friend. I think there are a few differences (religion for example) that keep her from wanting to get serious with me. Anyway, we genuinely have fun together. Text every day. Have great dates, get personal, have great sex. But seeing her only once a week leaves me feeling super horny and I don't know what to do about it. I can't watch porn or masturbate when I'm with someone because that typically leads to erectile issues during sex. I feel like at this point adding another girl into the rotation would hurt her. Breaking things off and looking elsewhere seems weird because things are going fantastic for us. We get along great, apart from me being super horny. On top of that we are both incredibly busy with work, this sort of casual thing is perfect schedulewise and I don't have the desire to get back in the dating pool just now (I'm sure you guys know how grueling it is to these days looking for a match). Still I suppose I have to go with one of these options. Or I have to get into a relationship with her. What would be best? Cold showers? Edited June 26, 2016 by Ocino
phineas Posted June 26, 2016 Posted June 26, 2016 You sound like the woman in this arrangement. seriously dude, You aren't exclusive, you aren't having your needs met, she is dictating the rules of engagement also and you are worried getting your needs met from other women would hurt her feelings? And you text her and feed her attention every day? WTF?!?!?! So correct me if i'm wrong here, but she gets everything she wants from you but you are not getting everything you want from her? And you are the one afraid of someone bailing? man up son & tell her she needs to step up the sex. She don't want to? ignore her for a few days. Then tell her to come over. She don't want to? Then ignore her until she does. You are treating her like a GF and she is treating you like an option. Look for other women. YOU ARE NOT EXCLUSIVE. Right now she has no reason to seek exclusivity from you because she has you where she wants you. If you don't take control of this situation like a man then this will only end badly for you because i'm fairly certain you are not the only man she is doing this to. again, if i'm reading this wrong tell me. 1
preraph Posted June 26, 2016 Posted June 26, 2016 So I've been seeing this girl for several months now. We are explicitly not exclusive but neither of us are seeing other people. We're late 20s. I have very strong feelings for her but I'm not in love with her, and I think shes such a good person. She feels the same way, but since we aren't in a relationship she'd rather we didn't start hanging out too frequently so we can have distance. She also doesnt want to lose me as a friend. I think there are a few differences (religion for example) that keep her from wanting to get serious with me. Anyway, we genuinely have fun together. Text every day. Have great dates, get personal, have great sex. But seeing her only once a week leaves me feeling super horny and I don't know what to do about it. I can't watch porn or masturbate when I'm with someone because that typically leads to erectile issues during sex. I feel like at this point adding another girl into the rotation would hurt her. Breaking things off and looking elsewhere seems weird because things are going fantastic for us. We get along great, apart from me being super horny. On top of that we are both incredibly busy with work, this sort of casual thing is perfect schedulewise and I don't have the desire to get back in the dating pool just now (I'm sure you guys know how grueling it is to these days looking for a match). Still I suppose I have to go with one of these options. Or I have to get into a relationship with her. What would be best? Cold showers? You don't have to watch porn to get yourself off, do you? I think most men take care of themselves just about every day, with or without porn. But some can get a backlash if they rely on porn too much, so try to just do it by yourself. Nothing wrong with it.
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