Author Xidion Posted June 25, 2016 Author Posted June 25, 2016 It's called shining knight or white knight syndrome. I've heard of that. I don't know what it is inside of me that attracts me to people like this. I've always had something inside of me that yearns to help people, it just gets me into one big mess when it comes to relationships. 1
JoeSmith357-1 Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 You are also 31, for ****s sake, you have plenty of time to do all that family stuff... enjoy life
Author Xidion Posted June 25, 2016 Author Posted June 25, 2016 You are also 31, for ****s sake, you have plenty of time to do all that family stuff... enjoy life I know that technically I'm still in my "prime", but I don't want to be going on 40 and just starting a family
katiegrl Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 I know that technically I'm still in my "prime", but I don't want to be going on 40 and just starting a family Dude, there is NINE years between 31 and 40 geez! Chill out and stop over-thinking, you'll get an ulcer and then where will you be? Go for a run! 1
Author Xidion Posted June 25, 2016 Author Posted June 25, 2016 Dude, there is NINE years between 31 and 40 geez! Chill out and stop over-thinking, you'll get an ulcer and then where will you be? Go for a run! Well, I'm a thinker lol and I'd like to be married and have kids by the time I'm 36.
JoeSmith357-1 Posted June 26, 2016 Posted June 26, 2016 I know that technically I'm still in my "prime", but I don't want to be going on 40 and just starting a family Trust me, as someone who got married too early and made a wrong choice. I would rather be 40 and starting a family with the right woman than getting married to the wrong woman at 31, being divorced by 40 and starting over like i said, chill out, slow down, it's not a race who cares if all your friends are having kids. Half or more of them will be divorced by 40 and have alimony and child support payments... 1
Trinity_84 Posted June 26, 2016 Posted June 26, 2016 I don't understand why some people give themselves "deadlines" with such important matters as marriage and children. It's as if they kind of just assume that those things HAVE to happen! Maybe they have longed for this since childhood, but as adults living in the real world and realizing that life doesn't always pan out the way we wish, we should *change* what we take for granted or expect from life. I'd rather have the mentality of "*if* it happens, it'll happen when it happens, meanwhile I'm going to be busy enjoying my life and doing things that I love."
avocadodreams Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 31 is still young. My ex is 41, single again, very much wanting to start a family. I can understand how being treated poorly in past relationships can dampen one's perspective on finding a successful one. But those relationships have been excellent teachers. And now you know yourself and what you want more that before, right? Either way, trust it. Normal to hit 30 and start really thinking about getting your stuff together (work/family goals or otherwise) Time and opportunity is on your side. It'll happen when it does. And it'll feel quicker when you're not mulling over your disappointment of your single-ness/kid-less-ness
tinkerbell16 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I do, there are 2 woman who I've been friends with for a very long time that are always my go to with things like this. They are honest.. they feel as if I seem to be attracted to woman who seem as if they need rescuing from a situation or even themselves. You just hit the core issue. You desire to be the "night and shining armor". Research why your insecurities manifest in finding woman who need saving. Here is a clue, it is rooted in fear of abandonment. What significant person in your life do you feel abandoned you. Either literally or figuratively?
tinkerbell16 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I've heard of that. I don't know what it is inside of me that attracts me to people like this. I've always had something inside of me that yearns to help people, it just gets me into one big mess when it comes to relationships. Its not a desire to help. It may look like that from the outside but it is actually the desire to become "necessary" to her so she wont abandone you. It is job security if you will, only in relationship form. 1
angel.eyes Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Yup! The irony is that people like her tend to make the least stable partners and are the least likely to hang around long-term. 1
tinkerbell16 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Yup! The irony is that people like her tend to make the least stable partners and are the least likely to hang around long-term. Exactly. And like most dysfunction it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy until the lesson is learned.
kendahke Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I seem to be attracted to woman who seem as if they need rescuing from a situation or even themselves. Captain Save-a-Mess Probably because you confuse being magnanimous for love... you prefer them to be grateful to you for saving them rather than choosing someone who doesn't need rescuing. Could be because then they won't have that grateful air about them that you require.
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