Sweetgirl28 Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 I met this guy online. First date was awesome; great chemistry and ended up spending 4 hours together. I hugged him goodnight but he didn't know what to do. He texted me afterwards asking why first goodbyes are always awkward. Then he went silent for 3 days before texting me about a second date. Date two was even better. We got to know each other better and we really bonded. We ended up spending the whole day together. I hugged him goodbye. He grabbed me very tightly but no kiss. He waited 5 days to set up the next date which is coming up. I'm not sure what to expect since he is so slow. He hasn't been on the dating site we met on since our second date but I'm just not sure what his intentions are and where this is going. He is clearly not after sex since he hasn't even made a move on me... Is he just shy?
mizunomead Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 Well......This is going to a third date. His intentions are to meet you for a third date. He may be a bit shy, or just not overly aggressive, or a million other options. Here is exactly what you know. You know that you have had two very nice dates with him. You know that he is interested in you at some level since he is taking you on date 3. You know that at least at this point it appears that he is not a huge texter, but it sounds like you two communicate well together when face to face. My advice, quit over analyzing every little thing. Go on date 3, enjoy yourself. If he doesn't throw down a kiss then take some action yourself. If the 3rd date again goes well and he is slow to reach out again then do it yourself and see how that flies. Just go with the flow.... 2
bummer Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 You know he's nervous too. No one leaves a date then texts that the endings are awkward.... Be gentle and kindly show him how to act with a girl and try to make him comfortable. Don't text at the dinner table at all cost. If you like him, kiss his cheak, then wait for his awkward swivel to mouth move and let the sparks fly! 1
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 I think it's great the way it is. You think he is so slow to what? The man is showing respect, enjoy it. As for what he is looking for, wasn't it in his profile? did you talk about this on your first message? If not then it's time to ask on your 3rd date. Don't ask him what he wants with you, it's too soon, but ask him what type of relationship he is hoping to find and ask as many questions as you'd like.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Posted June 25, 2016 Thank you everyone! I'm not really overanalyzing but just curious. On his profile it says he wants to date but no relationship (pof) but I have never understood the difference between that and no commitment. He has asked me if and how many children I want and what my stance is on marriage. Quite heavy questions for second date who puts on their profile that they want to date but no relationship... The long intervals and pauses in texts confuse me too. I like to hear from a guy between dates but 3 days, 5 days etc is quite long. Then again, I can sense he likes me a lot. I guess just shy? He is already in his late 20s though.
Shanex Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 I assume you're also about his age? There's no doubt he likes you and not so shy for being on pof and more so to reach out for dates with you. I suspect that date 3 might be the kiss you guys have been waiting for. As to why he doesn't text in between dates... he's taking his time I think and want to have something or a lot to talk about after those days of ''NC'' (NC as in a good way here)
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Posted June 25, 2016 Yes, we are the same age actually. I reached out to him on pof because my profile is hidden. It took him 6 weeks before he asked to meet. I wasn't taking him seriously until the last week when our conversation online became hilarious. Honestly, I thought he was going to ghost me without meeting in person. Also, in our area there aren't many "quality" people on pof. The majority of men are middle eastern men looking for a woman to marry so they can get a visa to stay here permanently. Either that or socially awkward guys with creepy profiles. The women are the same way; either eastern european women looking for a visa or frankly just ugly geeky women. The reason I joined was because I met my ex of two years on pof. We'll see what happens on this date. I think he should make a move on me before I start considering as a friend though.
4x4storm Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 Sounds like things are going swell to me maybe he is really shy? nothing wrong with that!
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Posted June 25, 2016 He may be shy. He comes across as such in person. However, as intent he put wants to date but nothing serious which makes me wonder why he is so slow with me. I interpret that as wanting to have casual sex but he hasn't even kissed me yet.
JoeSmith357-1 Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 No hard and fast rule, but first date I greet with a hug, usually a hug + kiss on the cheek when saying goodnight. Second date the same except may try to kiss the lips. By the third date, i'm definitely going to be kissing on the lips, trying for more, copping a feel, all that stuff. If she does not react favorably, there might, probably wont be a 4th date. I'm assertive though. If you think he's just shy, but he's into you and maybe just not sure if you are. Why don't you take the initiative and initiate the kiss? If he backs away, he's not into you, or he's gay
mizunomead Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 i dont put much stock into those what your looking for categories. unless someone puts wants to marry or wants a ons. the rest is completely up to interpretation. as a example. you assume wants to date but nothing serious means casual sex. to someone else it could mean dating one person and letting a relationship grow without having pressures of it needing to become more immediately. actions always show intent sooner or later. 3 dates means at some level he is interested. a tight hug to me is a sign of physical attraction. he may not be the most confident guy in the world. lets see how #3 goes. make it pretty obvious your ready for him to turn it up a notch. give him a bit of nudge and see what he does with it. dont overthink it and have fun. 1
juniorrocha Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 Personally I find it odd that he went 3 days, then 5 days not contacting at all. I would be concerned. Then again, you didn't initiate contact either. Still though, you're going on your 3rd date. If he wasn't interested, this wouldn't be happening. You should try inviting him out to something that will allow you guys to be close; to the movies, for example. You could try a peck kiss if you can't see him doing any move.
katiegrl Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 (edited) I would be more concerned about two dates and no kiss rather than the limited contact between dates. Shy or not shy, when a man is attracted, at the very least he wants to kiss you! Hell, read this board, many couples are having sex on the third date! So I think two dates and no kiss means more than he may be *shy*. Not buying it. Especially after spending so much time together and *bonding* on date two. This sounds like a friendship hun. I am sure he thinks you are very nice, obviously enjoys spending time with you otherwise he wouldn't want to continue to see you. But it just doesn't sound like he's feeling it in the physical attraction department. You can give it one more date if you want, but wouldn't get my hopes up. Edited June 25, 2016 by katiegrl
zenguy Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 It's been just two dates, and he's initiated the follow up dates. I'd say he's interested, yes a lot of people, including myself, would attempt a kiss and hold the other person's hand on the second date, but, it's possible he thinks this is how you do it and is waiting for the third date to initiate. At any rate, you'll get your answers on the third date, so no use speculating, just enjoy the date.
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